Getting Back in Bed After Treating Premature Ejaculation

February 21, 2019

Getting Back in Bed After Treating Premature Ejaculation

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Treating the physical issues related to premature ejaculation is sometimes only half the issue. Get back into the saddle again with some sage advice.

Even if you’ve struggled with premature ejaculation and found a treatment that has helped you last longer in bed, you may still be struggling with other side effects. When it comes to an intimate act such as sex, you’re baring yourself down to the skin each time. It’s no wonder that your confidence might be shaken a bit after dealing with PE.

When getting back in bed after treating premature ejaculation, focus on intimacy and your close relationship with your partner — rather than “performing.” Honestly assessing where you are sexually, communicating with your partner, and taking things slow are your best route to sexual satisfaction.

Be Ready to Get Intimate Again

Before you jump into bed, do a bit of a systems check.

Do you feel healthy and well enough to proceed? If a deeper physical issue was triggering your PE, have you resolved that problem?

Do you have all the supplies you need, including lube to decrease friction? If you’re treating with Promescent Climax Control Spray, are you clear on how to use it for maximum effectiveness? Have you discussed these with your partner so they know what to expect?

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Finally, do you have a plan for setbacks? Knowing how you’ll respond to stress or new or changing sensations can help you roll with the punches, so to speak, during sex.

Talk About It

Talking things through with your partner should be step one on the path to sexy times. Share your feelings with them, including fears and embarrassment. Sex is so great when it really lets down the curtain on what you’re feeling. Here are some initial talking points you may want to discuss:

  • Talk about how far you’ve come. “I struggled in the past, but I think I’ve found a treatment that works well for me. This is how it works.”

  • Be open about potential speed bumps. “I might need to slow things down a bit in order to perform how I’d like, so if you notice that happening, here’s the plan.”

  • Share some sexy thoughts. “I’ve been waiting to get intimate with you, but I haven’t forgotten what I love about your body. Let me count the ways I’m into you.”

Bring a Third Party into the Equation

No, not a three-way (unless that’s your thing). We’re talking about a neutral third party you can talk to, like a therapist. Sex therapy is nothing to be ashamed of, and if you’re worried about your performance, it can be helpful to talk to someone who’s literally heard and seen it all.

In fact, combining therapy and pharmaceutical treatment (even if it’s an over-the-counter treatment like Promescent) can be most helpful when coping with PE.

“Combination pharmaco- and psychotherapy is the most promising intervention for lifelong and acquired PE and offers superior efficacy to drug alone,” notes Stanley E. Althof in a 2016 study published in the journal Translational Andrology and Urology. “This is because men and couples learn sexual skills, address the intrapsychic, interpersonal and cognitive issues that precipitate and maintain the dysfunction.”

Want to find some help? The American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counsellors, and Therapists (AASECT) or the Society for Sex Therapy & Research both have online databases you can use to find a sex therapist in your area.

Take it Slow

The “next time” doesn’t have to be “the best time” when you’re coming back to sex after a bit of a drought. Don’t pressure yourself to be a stud in bed, especially if you’re feeling a bit tentative.

Instead, focus on having some fun together. Try a makeout session with your clothes on. See what’s on for a little Netflix and [actually] chill. Cook a romantic meal together — bonus points if you feed each other.

Or try some sexual fun that doesn’t involve intercourse — this can be a great way to get to know each other’s bodies again without a big finale in sight. Trying sleeping naked to enjoy some skin-on-skin contact with your partner — without initiating sex. Or masturbate (alone or together)! Exploring your bodies solo can help you get to know yourselves and what makes you aroused. Don’t forget to compare notes afterward.

Finally, remember that you may need to work at it a bit. After a drought, women and men both need to remember how to fit together physically and emotionally. You know it’ll be worth the wait.

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