Published : 10/25/2018 19:06:05
Categories : Blog
Since the 50s, the standard treatment for premature ejaculation has been sex therapy. Some famous sex therapists, like Helen Singer Kaplan, William H. Masters, and Virginia E. Johnson developed different methods to teach men how to last longer. Based on the principle of behavioral therapy, an exercise called the stop-start method, also known as edging techniques
I've consulted three different sex therapist for my premature ejaculation. During my therapy sessions, my different therapists used the principle developed by Kaplan, Masters, and Johnson. I had to perform some masturbation exercises, first alone, then with my partner.
During those "workouts," I had to map my arousal level on a 1-to-10 scale. The goal was to identify my point-of-no-return (where ejaculation is inevitable).
When you focus on your arousal level, you’re sometimes able to stop the stimulation before it's too late. When you feel your arousal is getting dangerously high, you can take a short pause. During those pauses, you need to cease any stimulation and calm yourself. You have to take deep breaths and let arousal level comes down. You can only resume the stimulation when you feel the urge to ejaculate has passed.
Those techniques can work for some. In fact, a recent study showed that behavioral therapy is effective. It worked for me too... only in a limited capacity though.
Even if edging exercises can make you last longer, there's always a limit to its effectiveness.
If you're a severe premature ejaculation (like myself), it's possible that you reach your point-of-no-return quickly. Even if edging exercises can make you last longer, if you usually climax within a minute, you still need to pause before the 40-second mark. That can be fine for some situations, but sometimes, a couple might want to prolong things further before they have to pause.
That's where a local anesthetic like Promescent can be a game changer! And to understand how precisely a delay spray can fit into a sexual re-education, we need to know why some men ejaculate faster than others.
Therapy shows us how to map our arousal level on a 1-to-10 scale, but what do we mean by arousal?
Some stimuli can raise your arousal level. Sights, sounds, and smells can make us feel sexually excited. Erotic thoughts can also increase our level of arousal. In the right context, thinking about a sexual scenario will raise your arousal level. Arousal is mostly a psychological experience that happens in the brain.
But ejaculation isn't only triggered by this psychological arousal. When your penis is stimulated, it also sends signals to your spinal cord and your brain. Genital stimulation alone can be enough to make a man ejaculate. Even with no erotic thoughts at all, in a non-arousing context, some men can still ejaculate if their penis is stimulated enough.
Some sex therapists use the term fiction and friction to explain the difference between the two ejaculation triggers. Some people are more sensitive to fiction; others are more sensitive to friction. This article describes why some men come faster than others by using the distinction between psychological arousal and physical arousal. You can see that severe premature ejaculators are sensitive to both fiction and friction.
Some men are so sensitive to genital stimulation that even if they are at 0 on the psychological arousal scale (fiction), the physical arousal (friction) alone will make them climax in a matter of seconds. That is my case.
For example, I can't use a male masturbator (like a Fleshlight) for more than 20 seconds. And that's not because I'm lost in erotics thoughts and my psychological arousal spike too soon. Even if I use mindfulness meditation techniques to calm myself, and I do the exercises with no sexual images in my mind, I'll go from flaccid to orgasm in a couple of seconds due to the Fleshlight friction.
However, when I use a delay spray like Promescent, the solution blocks some of the penile nerves endings' signals to the brain. Delay sprays reduce the friction aspect, so it's possible for me to focus on the fiction.
By blocking my penis’s signal to the brain, Promescent helps me better understand where I am on the 1-to-10 arousal scale. Now that I'm not overwhelmed by the physical aspect, I can manage my psychological arousal during sex. With the friction out of the equation, my mind is focused on finding a plateau around point 8. Not only do I last longer, but it makes the experience way more enjoyable for me than racing from 0 to 10 in a matter of seconds. I can now enjoy pleasant erotic stimuli, like the sight and sounds of my partner.
Of course, I still have to take some pauses when I'm feeling too excited, but this point doesn't always occur within 20 seconds of penetration.
The goal of sex therapy is to help the patient recognize his level of arousal. For this reason, a local anesthetic that reduces the level of sensations can seem counter-intuitive. But a desensitizing product like Promescent doesn't disconnect you from your sensations. It's quite the contrary.
Promescent doesn't completely desensitize your penis. Thanks to its eutectic formula, the lidocaine doesn't block all the genital sensation. You will still feel some of the genital stimulation.
Additionally, delay products allow men who are overwhelmed by the genital stimulation to focus on their inner arousal.
I use the nightclub analogy to explain how it happens. Have you ever tried to take a call inside a nightclub? The music is so loud that you can't hear a thing. A guy that is sensitive to physical arousal is in the same situation. In the club, there is so much noise that you can't understand what the person at the other end is saying. In our case, the other person’s voice is your arousal level. If you block your other ear with your finger, by barring the surrounding noise, you hear better. For some of us, Promescent is our way to reduce the ambient noise so we can focus on our inner sensations.
Some sex therapist uses antidepressant drugs like SSRIs in conjunction with their therapy.
SSRIs work by blocking the reabsorption of serotonin which can also slow down the ejaculation process and increase the chance of success of a therapy. The SSRIs slow down the arousal response and help men that are too sensitive to find their "plateau" arousal response.
Clinical data shows both SSRIs and Promescent are effective at slowing down ejaculation - and both are recommended by the ISSM.
I don't have anything against SSRIs. In fact, I'm on a low dosage of Paroxetine myself. I use both SSRIs and Promescent for my PE issues.
However, SSRIs can have drawbacks that delay products don't have. For example, SSRIs are prescribed off-label in most countries. Depending on your health insurance plan, SSRIs could be more costly than delay products. Also, some men suffer from adverse effects while they are on SSRIs.
Delay sprays, when they are used as directed, don't have any side effects (except some rare cases of allergic reactions). Lastly, there isn’t any data regarding SSRIs long-term usage. Therefore, some men prefer not to use them. For those men, a local therapy like Promescent can be the ingredient that can make their sex therapy a success!
Just like SSRIs, local anesthetics can help some men center themselves on their feelings. It’s up to each patient, along with their partner, therapist, and doctor to choose which solution is best for them.
It is my belief that delay sprays are often overlooked in therapy. None of my three therapists proposed the use of a spray. We talked about SSRIs, but not about desensitizing products. At the time, I wasn't ready to use drugs for my PE, so I had difficulties completing the therapy exercises.
When I discovered Promescent, I retried all the same edging exercises that I've learned during therapy. I saw real improvement. I was finally able to use the stop-start method during intercourse. I didn't have to pause after 20 seconds when I was using Promescent. In the end, it was more enjoyable for me and my partner.