Orgasm Gap Between Men And Women

young couple laying in bed facing away from each other upset from the outcomes of the orgasm gap

The Orgasm Gap

A 2005 study of more than 800 college students found that more than 90 percent of men orgasm during heterosexual, penetrative sex — and just 39 percent of women can say the same.

And even when women do orgasm during sex, it takes them considerably longer to get there: Where men take an average of 5.5 minutes to reach orgasm during sexual intercourse, women take an average of 17 minutes.

And this difference in the time it takes for men and women to reach orgasm isn’t an inherently bad thing — but consider, too, that in a 2015 survey of more than 1,000 women, 60 percent of women reported that their sex lives left something to be desired.

Suddenly, the so-called “orgasm gap” is a lot more significant than just times on a stopwatch. So what is the orgasm gap, why does it exist, and how can couples can address it (and enjoy a more satisfying relationship — for both parties)?

What is the Orgasm Gap?

The orgasm gap is, in essence, the difference between the male and female orgasm.

  • It takes women longer to reach orgasm than it does men

  • Men have more orgasms than women

Is The Orgasm Gap Physiological?

Is the orgasm simply a function of women’s and men’s bodies being fundamentally different in how they reach orgasm?

In a word, no.

The mechanics of heterosexual sex involve the penis — a highly sensitive part of the male anatomy — and the vagina. The female anatomical counterpart to the penis, the clitoris, sometimes receives stimulation during foreplay or intercourse itself but is not central to the experience of intercourse. (Did you know the penis and clitoris actually both start as the same “genital tubercle” in human embryos and maintain the same intense erogenous sensitivity after they evolve into their respective adult forms?)

During intercourse, the penis gets all the attention — while the clitoris often receives very little stimulation.

But studies have shown that, using manual stimulation or a vibrator, women can achieve orgasm in about the same amount of time as men. And there’s the rub, so to speak — something beyond physiology is causing the orgasm gap.

The Orgasm Gap: Mostly a Heterosexual Thing

Couple who experiences the orgasm gap is getting intimate

The orgasm gap is less physiological than many assume — and it’s most dramatic in to heterosexual relationships. (Other couples have different struggles in the bedroom, of course, but the orgasm gap ain’t one of ‘em.)

A particularly telling study, from 2017 studied about 52,600 adults — more than 26,000 heterosexual men; about 450 gay men; 550 bisexual men; 340 lesbian women; just over 1,000 bisexual women; and more than 24,000 heterosexual women — and their orgasm frequency during sexual activity.

Heterosexual men led the pack in terms of their orgasm frequency: 95 percent said they usually or always orgasm during sexual intimacy. While 86 percent of lesbian women reported usually or always having orgasms, heterosexual women brought up the rear, with just 65 percent reporting the same.

So what gives? Why do heterosexual couples suffer from this wide gulf between men’s and women’s ultimate sexual satisfaction?

It’s a complex alchemy of factors that varies from couple to couple. For some, it relates to how mainstream (read: heterosexual) society thinks about sex and women’s historically subservient role in the bedroom (read: a vessel for childbearing only). For others, it’s about deeply ingrained feelings of shame around recreational sex, including foreplay and kink.

Every person is different — and many issues related to the orgasm gap require more than a quick Google search for the couple to address them. But here are a few ideas on how to close the orgasm gap in your relationship.

How to Close The Orgasm Gap: Think Beyond Intercourse

Couple getting closer to close the gap on orgasms

There are a couple of differences between heterosexual couples and homosexual or bi couples. (Okay, there are more than a couple.)

But one big difference is that the impetus for intercourse is rarely reproductive in nature. Most homosexual and bi couples are engaging in sexy time for sexy time’s sake — yes, because it’s fun and helps bring them closer together!

But U.S. society’s heteronormative sexual education in the United States has been defined for generations by moral and religious authorities, and many couples are culturally conditioned to think of sex only as it relates to procreation.

That means for many heterosexual couples, “sex” actually just equals “vaginal intercourse.” Foreplay? What’s that?

Listen, there’s a wide world of sexual pleasure out there just waiting to be experienced.

Going back to the 2017 study of orgasms in people of varying sexual preference, women who orgasmed more frequently reported some of the following in their relationships: receiving oral sex, manual genital stimulation, and even anal stimulation (ask first, for God’s sake); deep kissing; acting out fantasies or other role-playing; and “sexy talk” — sometimes beyond the bedroom, in calls or emails.

Oh, and they reported higher overall satisfaction with their relationships.

So SWITCH THINGS UP! If you’ve been rockin’ the four-minute missionary for most of your relationship, consider adding a little spice to your usual routine.

Start with communication. Ask your partner what she wants, then shrug off your hangups and give it a try!

It’ll be fun for you, too — promise.

How to Close The Orgasm Gap: Slow Yourself Down

Promescent conveniently on bathroom counter

If nothing else, consider trying to delay your own ejaculation to get in sync with her orgasmic timeline — rather than expecting her to get on your level or worse, expecting her simply to go without.

There are plenty of methods out there designed to slow male ejaculation:

These methods are all designed to do one thing in the end: make sex last longer and, in the process, shore up the orgasm gap. And while there’s more to happy relationships than amazing, mutually enjoyable sex, it’s rare to find happy relationships without it.

Happy playtime!

The Orgasm Gap

young couple laying in bed facing away from each other upset from the outcomes of the orgasm gap

The Orgasm Gap

A 2005 study of more than 800 college students found that more than 90 percent of men orgasm during heterosexual, penetrative sex — and just 39 percent of women can say the same.

And even when women do orgasm during sex, it takes them considerably longer to get there: Where men take an average of 5.5 minutes to reach orgasm during sexual intercourse, women take an average of 17 minutes.

And this difference in the time it takes for men and women to reach orgasm isn’t an inherently bad thing — but consider, too, that in a 2015 survey of more than 1,000 women, 60 percent of women reported that their sex lives left something to be desired.

Suddenly, the so-called “orgasm gap” is a lot more significant than just times on a stopwatch. So what is the orgasm gap, why does it exist, and how can couples can address it (and enjoy a more satisfying relationship — for both parties)?

What is the Orgasm Gap?

The orgasm gap is, in essence, the difference between the male and female orgasm.

  • It takes women longer to reach orgasm than it does men

  • Men have more orgasms than women

Is The Orgasm Gap Physiological?

Is the orgasm simply a function of women’s and men’s bodies being fundamentally different in how they reach orgasm?

In a word, no.

The mechanics of heterosexual sex involve the penis — a highly sensitive part of the male anatomy — and the vagina. The female anatomical counterpart to the penis, the clitoris, sometimes receives stimulation during foreplay or intercourse itself but is not central to the experience of intercourse. (Did you know the penis and clitoris actually both start as the same “genital tubercle” in human embryos and maintain the same intense erogenous sensitivity after they evolve into their respective adult forms?)

During intercourse, the penis gets all the attention — while the clitoris often receives very little stimulation.

But studies have shown that, using manual stimulation or a vibrator, women can achieve orgasm in about the same amount of time as men. And there’s the rub, so to speak — something beyond physiology is causing the orgasm gap.

The Orgasm Gap: Mostly a Heterosexual Thing

Couple who experiences the orgasm gap is getting intimate

The orgasm gap is less physiological than many assume — and it’s most dramatic in to heterosexual relationships. (Other couples have different struggles in the bedroom, of course, but the orgasm gap ain’t one of ‘em.)

A particularly telling study, from 2017 studied about 52,600 adults — more than 26,000 heterosexual men; about 450 gay men; 550 bisexual men; 340 lesbian women; just over 1,000 bisexual women; and more than 24,000 heterosexual women — and their orgasm frequency during sexual activity.

Heterosexual men led the pack in terms of their orgasm frequency: 95 percent said they usually or always orgasm during sexual intimacy. While 86 percent of lesbian women reported usually or always having orgasms, heterosexual women brought up the rear, with just 65 percent reporting the same.

So what gives? Why do heterosexual couples suffer from this wide gulf between men’s and women’s ultimate sexual satisfaction?

It’s a complex alchemy of factors that varies from couple to couple. For some, it relates to how mainstream (read: heterosexual) society thinks about sex and women’s historically subservient role in the bedroom (read: a vessel for childbearing only). For others, it’s about deeply ingrained feelings of shame around recreational sex, including foreplay and kink.

Every person is different — and many issues related to the orgasm gap require more than a quick Google search for the couple to address them. But here are a few ideas on how to close the orgasm gap in your relationship.

How to Close The Orgasm Gap: Think Beyond Intercourse

Couple getting closer to close the gap on orgasms

There are a couple of differences between heterosexual couples and homosexual or bi couples. (Okay, there are more than a couple.)

But one big difference is that the impetus for intercourse is rarely reproductive in nature. Most homosexual and bi couples are engaging in sexy time for sexy time’s sake — yes, because it’s fun and helps bring them closer together!

But U.S. society’s heteronormative sexual education in the United States has been defined for generations by moral and religious authorities, and many couples are culturally conditioned to think of sex only as it relates to procreation.

That means for many heterosexual couples, “sex” actually just equals “vaginal intercourse.” Foreplay? What’s that?

Listen, there’s a wide world of sexual pleasure out there just waiting to be experienced.

Going back to the 2017 study of orgasms in people of varying sexual preference, women who orgasmed more frequently reported some of the following in their relationships: receiving oral sex, manual genital stimulation, and even anal stimulation (ask first, for God’s sake); deep kissing; acting out fantasies or other role-playing; and “sexy talk” — sometimes beyond the bedroom, in calls or emails.

Oh, and they reported higher overall satisfaction with their relationships.

So SWITCH THINGS UP! If you’ve been rockin’ the four-minute missionary for most of your relationship, consider adding a little spice to your usual routine.

Start with communication. Ask your partner what she wants, then shrug off your hangups and give it a try!

It’ll be fun for you, too — promise.

How to Close The Orgasm Gap: Slow Yourself Down

Promescent conveniently on bathroom counter

If nothing else, consider trying to delay your own ejaculation to get in sync with her orgasmic timeline — rather than expecting her to get on your level or worse, expecting her simply to go without.

There are plenty of methods out there designed to slow male ejaculation:

These methods are all designed to do one thing in the end: make sex last longer and, in the process, shore up the orgasm gap. And while there’s more to happy relationships than amazing, mutually enjoyable sex, it’s rare to find happy relationships without it.

Happy playtime!

Things You'll love

The Standard

The Standard

$59.95

Lorem Ipsum

Add To Cart

VitaFLUX

VitaFLUX

$59.95

Lorem Ipsum

Add To Cart

You might also like

The Refractory Period
Feb 22, 2019

The Refractory Period

Songs that croon about “doing it all night long” paint a lovely (if exhausting) picture of glistening, naked ecstasy. But in reality, the male reproductive system just...

Read More    

Getting Back in Bed After Treating Premature Ejaculation
Feb 22, 2019

Getting Back in Bed After...

Treating the physical issues related to premature ejaculation is sometimes only half the issue. Get back into the saddle again with some sage advice.

Read More    

Can Your Diet Fix Premature Ejaculation?
Feb 22, 2019

Can Your Diet Fix Prematu...

Food has a role in all things related to your health, and premature ejaculation is no exception. Learn how much diet impacts your sexual performance.

Read More    

Can Premature Ejaculation Cause Infertility?
Feb 22, 2019

Can Premature Ejaculation...

It seems to stand to reason that PE is linked to fertility, but is that truth or myth? Learn how PE and fertility are linked, and what you can do about it.

Read More    

Can PE be Cured by Surgery?
Feb 22, 2019

Can PE be Cured by Surger...

Is surgery the answer for PE? Learn about the existing procedures claiming to treat premature ejaculation, and the pros and cons of each.

Read More    

Stress and Premature Ejaculation
Feb 22, 2019

Stress and Premature Ejac...

Stress ruins just about everything, and your sex life is no exception. Learn how stress, anxiety, and PE mix together, and how to break the vicious cycle.

Read More    

Alcohol and Premature Ejaculation
Feb 22, 2019

Alcohol and Premature Eja...

Learn how to find a perfect balance between alcohol use and better sex - as well as some pros and cons you may not have thought of - and how it affects PE.

Read More    

Using Promescent to Increase the Success Rate of Sex Therapy, Guest Blog Post
Oct 25, 2018

Using Promescent to Incre...

My name is Philippe and I have been dealing with early ejaculation for all my life. I've tried everything - Sex Therapy, SSRI's, Promescent and other exercises. Combination therapy...

Read More    

Goal of This Blog
Jul 07, 2017

Goal of This Blog

Read More    

Vardenafil / Generic Levitra for Premature Ejacualation
Feb 27, 2018

Vardenafil / Generic Levi...

Read More    

Climax Control Spray

80 Percent of women wish their partners would last longer in bed. Promescent makes that wish a reality.

SHOP ALL SPRAYS