Hosted by Dr. Jenni Skyler and Daniel Lebowitz
On the Sex and the Psyche podcast, therapists Dr. Jenni Skyler and Daniel Lebowitz talk with Promescent CEO Jeff Abraham about premature ejaculation, the shame that keeps men silent, and how a science-backed delay spray can reset both body and mind. The conversation reframes PE...
On the "Sex and the Psyche" podcast, clinical sex and relationship therapists Dr. Jenni Skyler and Daniel Lebowitz go behind the scenes of sex therapy to explore the mind beneath the moment. In this episode they sit down with Jeff Abraham, CEO of Promescent, for a candid, science-backed conversation about premature ejaculation, the shame that keeps men silent, and how the right tool can reset both the body and the mind for better intimacy.
Clinical definitions of premature ejaculation are narrower than most people realize. As Abraham explains, the major medical bodies tend to draw the line at finishing in roughly 90 seconds or less - a benchmark he finds far too restrictive. Plenty of men last longer than that and still feel they have no control over the experience, and plenty of couples still face an intimacy gap. PE affects a large share of men, with leading clinical sources estimating roughly 1 in 3 at some point in their lives, according to the Urology Care Foundation.
"So you realize that there is probably a bigger market and more people that need it that don't classify as having clinical premature ejaculation. They just want better intimacy."
That reframing is central to the conversation. PE is not only a solo performance problem - it is a shared experience, and the partner's pleasure belongs in the equation. For a deeper clinical overview, the Cleveland Clinic outlines causes ranging from hypersensitivity to nerve and prostate factors.
Abraham notes that research puts the average time to ejaculation for a healthy adult male at about 5 minutes and 42 seconds during intercourse - well above the clinical 90-second threshold, which is why so many men who want more control fall outside the formal diagnosis.
Comedians joke about PE, partners do not know how to raise it, and men carry the weight alone. Abraham challenges that stigma directly by comparing it to other health conditions no one would feel embarrassed treating.
"Would a diabetic ever be embarrassed to take insulin? The answer is no. Would someone with cancer ever be embarrassed to take chemo? The answer is no. So why is there shame and hesitance?"
Dr. Skyler and Lebowitz, who work with these issues every day, add that the silence has real relational cost. When a man fears he will finish too soon, he often disengages, stops initiating, or withdraws entirely. The partner reads that as rejection, both sides stop communicating, and a fixable physical issue quietly erodes the relationship. Naming PE as common and treatable, the hosts agree, is the first step toward breaking that cycle.
Much of the episode lives in the overlap between the physical and the psychological. Dr. Skyler describes the "ruminating head" - the chatter and worry that hijack a sexual experience and block a man from simply relaxing into it. Abraham calls his version the "devil angel syndrome," the internal tug of war between rushing to finish and worrying whether a partner has been satisfied. The hosts return again and again to a single theme: anxiety and intimacy do not mix.
"That performance narrative that stinks anyway and we should all throw into the garbage can and replace it with a pleasure narrative."
The therapists note that many men function fine alone, where there is no pressure, but fall apart with a partner. That gap between the solo and the shared experience is exactly where a performance mindset does its damage - and where the right support can change the story.
For men caught in that anxiety loop, Abraham argues that a reliable tool can shift the entire psychological frame before intimacy even begins.
"Men need tools. As soon as they have something in their hands, a bottle of your spray and there's a possibility it's going to go well. It builds the potential for a good experience and it sets a different mindset into motion that otherwise wasn't accessible."
That is the thinking behind Promescent Delay Spray. When the fear of finishing early is taken off the table, the pressure drops and confidence returns - and the therapists agree that reducing that pressure is a massive part of the equation.
What separates Promescent from older numbing products is its formulation. Abraham explains that the spray uses a patented eutectic formula that changes the crystal structure of lidocaine so it absorbs into the tissue rather than sitting on the surface. The result is a meaningful difference for couples.
"The man maintains a much higher degree of surface sensitivity. It doesn't transfer to his partner. The products that existed prior to us, literally the man lasts longer and it transfers to the female, and she's numb, he's numb, no one climaxes."
Because it comes in a metered-dose bottle, each application delivers the same amount of active ingredient, and users can dial in their own preferred number of sprays. The aim is not to deaden sensation but to extend it while keeping the experience pleasurable for both people - the kind of distinction the Mayo Clinic notes matters when weighing topical options. For couples ready to start the conversation, Promescent's educational resources on premature ejaculation are a useful entry point, and the full product range is available at Promescent.
The spray was invented by urologist Dr. Ronald Gilbert, Abraham's neighbor, friend, and doctor, who was tragically killed in a case of mistaken identity. Abraham has spent more than 15 years carrying the product forward, describing himself less as a businessman than as a steward of Gilbert's work and a provider for his family. That sense of purpose threads through the whole conversation: PE is common, it is treatable, and no one should have to navigate it in silence. As the hosts and Abraham make clear, replacing shame with information - and the performance narrative with a pleasure narrative - is how that change begins.
Listen to the full episode on Apple Podcasts.
Your Cart Is Empty
