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Last Longer in Bed (Ultimate Guide 2020)

Wondering how to last longer in bed? 

At the moment, you may feel discouraged because you struggle to last long enough to sexually please your partner. If that’s you, our guide can be the beginning step to restoring your romantic confidence.

By reading through this extensive resource, you’ll go from emotions of powerlessness to ones of empowerment. We leave no stone unturned in the quest for helping you last longer because our primary goal is to help you improve your sexual health and fulfillment.

Before going any further, let’s explore the science behind what causes earlier than desired ejaculation for you and your partner.

 

How to Last Longer in Bed (Ultimate Guide For Men) 

What is the Average Time to Ejaculation?

Solid scientific reasons exist behind why so many men fail to last longer in bed. And it all has to do with how long it takes the average man to climax compared to the average woman.

The reality is that most sex sessions last only five to seven minutes. However, less than two minutes is what 50% of men report.

It’s been found that the best length for sex is between 10 and 25 minutes - this includes foreplay leading up to penile-vaginal intercourse. But a staggering 80% of guys can’t make it to the ideal duration for intimacy.

Longer sex creates stronger emotional connections among couples. But, there's more.

Most women take between 10 and 25 minutes to climax. Some studies show the average time for women to reach orgasm is 13 minutes. Other studies claim that the average is closer to 20 minutes.

The primary concern for men with who want to last longer is they’re unable to last long enough for their partner to reach climax, which can harm the relational health of couples.

In light of what science tells us, you can leave any guilt or insecurities over not lasting long enough at the door. You aren’t alone. 

Millions of men struggle with the same issue and it is the most common sexual disorder among guys. 

The good news - there are plenty of options available to help you last longer in bed.

Are you ready to begin the journey to truly satisfying sex? Good!

Let’s explore the top tips to help you last longer in bed.

1. Practice Kegels

One medically recommended way to improve how long you last in bed is through strengthening your pelvic floor muscles. When these muscles are weak, it makes it more difficult to delay ejaculation.

By strengthening your pelvic muscles, you’ll have better control over when you climax during intimacy. You also won’t feel so much at the mercy of the moment.

How exactly do you practice Kegels exercises? 

Here are some quick and easy steps.

How to Practice Kegels

Male kegels to last longer

1. Find the Correct Muscles: Your pelvic floor muscles are the same ones that allow you to avoid passing gas. They also enable you to stop urination flow in midstream. 

    Once you find these muscles, you can do kegels exercises in any position. Some recommend lying down at first until you get more used to the process.

    2. Practice Your Technique: Flex your pelvic floor muscles for three seconds and then rest for three seconds. After that, try doing this several times in a row. 

      Once these muscles get stronger, you’ll find it easy to contract them while standing, sitting or even walking.

      3. Stay Focused: You want to avoid tightening other muscle groups that surround the pelvic floor muscles when doing Kegels. That means paying extra attention not to contract the muscles of your thighs, buttocks and abdomen. 

        Also, remember to breathe normally during these exercises. There’s no need to hold your breath.

        4. Get in Your Reps: The great thing about strengthening your pelvic floor muscles is it doesn’t take much time each day. If you can do at least three sets of 10 reps per day, you should see progress. 

          Another major virtue of this strength training is it doesn’t have to add any extra time to your day. Simply practice it while walking, at work or reading a book.

           

          What Others Are Saying About Kegels to Last Longer

          If you search the web for feedback on how Kegels exercises help with lasting power, you'll find both positive and negative experiences. Let's start with an example of a positive review.

          Positive Review:

          For example, one Reddit user posed the question, “Do you perform Kegel exercises? If so, what have the effects been?" 

           

           

          Reddit comment about kegel exercise benefits

           

          Negative Review:

          Not everyone gives raving reviews for Kegels as a solution to give you that extra bedroom confidence, however. 

          In an article written for The Good Men Project, Deon Black, shares that Kegels exercises are the worst-possible technique to last longer in bed.

           

          Review on male Kegels

          2. Try These Sex Positions

          Sex positions that help men last

          Ever wondered if switching up your sex position while lovemaking could help you last longer in bed? If not, there’s some good news ahead.

          After all, we tend to think of trying different sex positions in terms of increasing the variety and adventure of intimacy. 

          And why not? 

          Trying new methods is not only fun but essential for a satisfying love life.

          We typically don’t think of changing things up with the end goal of solving a problem. We also generally don’t think of the anatomical variations that result from choosing different positions.

          But if you struggle to perform in bed, some sex positions will help you last longer than others (and vice versa). 

          In light of these anatomical realities, you and your partner could enjoy longer-lasting sex just by paying better attention to how you do it.

          Just what sex positions will help you to hold out longer? 

          Here are a few of the best to consider. 

          And don’t forget to check out our more detailed version that gives 12 possibilities.

          How to Last Longer By Changing Your Sex Position

          What’s the simple answer for picking the right positions? 

          Your main goal here is to decrease the sensitivity for your penis while increasing sensation for the female partner like the following examples.

          1. The Cowgirl Position

          If you don’t have the time to figure out some of the more complex positions, try going cowgirl. 

          First, simply lie on your back. Then, let your partner mount, straddle and enter you at an upright position (like she’s riding a bull).

           

          Cowgirl sex position



          The cowgirl position helps you last longer because your partner has near-total control over the depth and speed of thrusting. Because you can’t penetrate as vigorously as other positions allow, this helps you delay orgasm.

          At the same time, this can help to stimulate your partner’s G-spot. With you slowing down and her speeding up, you can train yourselves to climax at the same or nearly the same time.

          2. Non-Penetrative Missionary

          Get in the normal missionary position without penetrating your partner. 

          After that, simply rub the top of your shaft against her clitoris, vulva and perineum. Again, this will help by speeding up your partner’s sexual desire while keeping yours from building too quickly.

          3. Sit on the Throne

          Start by sitting on a chair with your partner standing with her back to you. 

          Next, she can lower herself and have you enter her as she sits on your lap facing away from you.

          Sit in chair sex positions

           

          Much like the cowgirl position, this gives the woman more control without you being tempted to thrust too quickly or deeply.

          What Others Are Saying About Changing Positions to Last Longer

          Positive Review:

          One Reddit responder shared the following positive experience: "And different positions help. For instance, when she's on top, and we're doing more grinding than actually sliding in/out, I can last way way longer. And on the other hand, I still have a problem with doggie - I can barely ever last long in that position, so we usually save that for the very end."

          Sex positions discussion Reddit

           

          3. Use a Delay Spray 

          Promescent delay spray bundles 

          Shop Promescent Delay Spray

           

          Another proven way to last longer during sex is to use Promescent® Delay Spray.

          One of the greatest virtues of this delay spray is it’ll help you to last longer in bed quickly.

           While kegel exercises or just getting in better overall shape could eventually improve your lasting power, delay sprays can help you now.

          The best delay sprays include a metered spraying mechanism so you can control just the right amount that works best for you. A quality delay spray, like Promescent, also does a good job of keeping as much of your sensitivity as possible while ensuring your partner feels little to no numbing effects at all.

          Slowing down your climax while speeding up your partner’s is crucial. An inferior delay spray could wind up numbing your female partner. This could make it even harder for her to reach climax during intercourse.

          The desensitizing components of the best delay sprays (commonly lidocaine) are safe and easy to use. Simply apply your delay spray several minutes before intercourse whenever you wish to delay orgasm.

          How to Apply Your PE Spray

          How do delay sprays work?

           Although the application of using a delay spray is a pretty straightforward process, you’ll get the best results by following these simple tips:

          1. Start Slow: Every guy’s sensitivity level is a little different. Some men need more sprays than others. You won't know how many sprays you’ll need when starting out.That’s why it’s recommended to start slow at first. 

          You can always add extra sprays the next time you’re intimate if needed. But if you use too much, you won’t be able to lessen its effects during that lovemaking session. Finally, as always, be sure to use your product as directed.

          1. Apply Early: Be sure to apply your delay spray between five and 15 minutes before sex. If you start too soon, the desensitizer won’t have had its full effect.
          1. Applying the Spray: Apply the spray to the underside of the head and shaft of your penis. Next, rub the spray until it gets absorbed into the skin using a circular motion. 
           

          What Others Are Saying About Delay Sprays for Lasting Longer in Bed

          Positive Reviews:

          Besides scientific research that backs up the value of delay sprays for helping with men last longer, thousands of positive reviews exist. 

          This Amazon review was posted by Chaquel Finney: "When it was time to get down to business, let me tell you.... Bayyyybeeee!!!! I had the time of my life and so did he!!! He held on for nearly thirty minutes before he had to release!!! When we finished, he told me that we HAVE TO DO THAT AGAIN!!!"

           

          Amazon review on delay sprays

           

          Another satisfied delay spray customer said, "This stuff works! Like, it actually freaking works. I had two concerns about this product - 1. will it ruin her experience, 2. how and where am I supposed to spray? (the comments had be worried about application). Both concerns were quickly put to rest."

           

           

          4. Learn the Edging Technique

          What is the start-stop method?

          Incorporating the edging method (also called 'start-stop method') is also a powerful weapon in your quest to increase your performance in bed with a partner.

          What ultimately causes you to come too soon? Overstimulation.

          The edging method can help you to quickly step back from the point of no return when climax feels imminent. 

          Some guys don’t realize that when they’re close to coming, there’s often a way to avoid orgasm.

          The key is catching it soon enough. How exactly is it done? Let’s take a look.

          How to Employ the Edging Method

          Edging Technique Instructions

          This method is easy to excel at with just a little practice. Here are a few tips:

          1. Go to Zero: The moment you feel climax coming on, simply stop all stimulation. Essentially, go from almost climaxing to ‘zero’. This hands-off delay will allow you to calm back down sexually and help you avoid orgasm.
          1. Pre-Climax Return: Then, you’ll return to your original pre-arousal state before you felt the urge to climax.
          1. Use Once or Often: Sometimes, stopping once is enough when it comes to this technique. If not, you can use this strategy as many times as you need to throughout intimacy. 

          This process is also referred to as edging. You get to the brink of orgasm and then completely ‘let off the gas’.

          1. Stronger Climax: One extra perk of this method is that you often have a stronger orgasm than you otherwise would’ve once you finally do come. All that extra tension you build up finally releases with a stronger effect than normal due to edging.
          1. Discuss this Technique with Your Partner: The main thing you’ll want to remember with the start-stop method is to talk with your partner about it beforehand. If you just suddenly stop thrusting in the middle of sex, this could be highly frustrating for your female partner.

          Work together to devise a way to at once cause you to avoid orgasm while bringing your partner closer to that point.

          One possibility could be if you momentarily pull out during sex, you can use your fingers to stimulate her clitoris until you’ve backed away from your climax and re-entered. That way she won’t lose her sexual momentum during your pause.

          What Others Are Saying About the Start-Stop Method for PE

          Positive Reviews:

          One Quora user posed the question,"How do I stop my early ejaculation?"In response, Neel Shah said"A simple way is to slide out for some time till you cool down and then get going again."

           

          how to stop premature ejaculation Quora answer

           

           Another Quora responder in answer to the same questionsaid, "You can stop whatever you’re doing that is going to cause you to ejaculate..."

           

           

          Negative Review: 

          Regarding the start-stop method one man found it ineffective, sharing the following: "I have no cool down period. I pull out, the feeling goes away, then it comes back after four strokes max."

           

          Premature Ejaculation Reddit

           

          5. Try the Squeeze Technique

          Another effective way to manage how long you last in bed is by using the squeeze technique.

          This is another form of edging and can be especially helpful if you’re a split-second past the point of the stop-start method being able to work.

          If you’re so close to reaching orgasm that ceasing stimulation won’t be enough, giving the squeeze technique a go might do the trick. 

          If it works, you’ll have saved yourself from another experience where you wished you could perform better in bed.

          How to Implement the Squeeze Technique 

          Performing the squeeze technique

           

          The squeeze technique is easy enough to carry out. Here are some highlights:

          1. Stop Contact: Right before climax, stop your thrusting or rubbing.
          1. Time to Squeeze: Next, quickly squeeze the end of your penis right where the shaft and head meet.

          You can either do this or your partner can. It usually makes sense for you to do the squeezing for several important reasons.

            • Only you will know how much pressure is needed to effectively delay orgasm. 
            • You’ll have to be quick. If you ask your partner to help, it could be too late by then.
          1. Resume: Once the squeeze technique brings you back to the pre-climax level, you’ll be able to resume sexual activity. Much like the stop-start technique, you can use the squeeze method as often as you need during sex.
          1. Communicate: And, similarly, you’ll want to communicate with your partner beforehand. As mentioned with the stop-start technique, discuss why you may need to stop during sex. Once your partner realizes this is meant to improve your mutual sexual enjoyment as a couple, she should be more than accommodating.

          Again, be sure to find some ways for your female partner to stay aroused while you use this technique. 

          What Others Are Saying About the Squeeze Method

          Positive Reviews:

          A Redditor asked, "How to NOT prematurely ejaculate."In response a fellow Redditor said, "Choke the head of your penis. Trust me, it works."

          Squeeze technique method Reddit

           

          Another Reddit user shared, "I read about this when I was young. It worked for me the first time I tried it and, when I found I had gained complete control of my orgasms, I changed in many ways..."

           

           

          6. Focus on Foreplay

          Foreplay tips for men

          Some guys reach climax during the foreplay stage of sex. As such, they attempt to do no foreplay at all or they don’t do enough. Then, they quickly finish with sex and wonder why they climaxed so much earlier than their partner—again.

          Women and men are quite different in how sex arouses them. 

          For both, it’s true there’s a physical and emotional element to sexual intimacy. Having said that, women fall much more on the emotional side than men. 

          Guys tend to focus more on the physical sex act itself.

          You need to give your partner plenty of warm-up time before penile-vaginal intercourse begins.

          Your partner will also feel more loved, cared for and special if you take your time with her. This helps to get her physical sexual desire going in a way that starting out with thrusting never could.

          For some guys, more foreplay can solve your lasting longer issues when it comes to how your partner perceives your performance. It delays your orgasm (little to no stimulation to the penis during foreplay for her) while getting their partner closer to climax at the same time.

          Just what should you focus on when it comes to foreplay? 

          Although there are endless possibilities, here are a few to consider.

          Ways to Include Foreplay to Get Your Partner Off

          1. Earlier in the Day:First, keep in mind that sex isn’t just about the time you spend in the bedroom. It’s equally important what you do outside of it. 

          Treating your partner kindly and being helpful never hurts. The same goes for hugs, kisses and other forms of affection. If you’ve been a jerk to her and now expect to have great sex, you’ll likely be in for a rude awakening later on.

          1. Take Your Time: Set aside plenty of time before you ever start lovemaking. Allowing for more time than you think you’ll need is best.
          1. Back Rubs: Most women love a good back rub. This helps them relax and put aside any stressors they may have had earlier in their day. It’s often a great place to start with foreplay.
          1. Arousing Words: Start slow with your words. There’s no need to talk too sexy until she’s further along. Just start by complimenting her on her appearance. Once she’s heated up a bit, then you’ll be able to make your words more sexual.

          Tip: Not talking about stressful things is also important. Save work, financial and child-centered concerns for another time. You need to  successfully help her to leave that world of responsibilities to get her  in the mood for sex.

          1. Environmental Factors: Be sure to have a clean room ready when that special moment arrives. Also consider candles and music as a nice touch. 

          Setting the right mood by paying attention to environmental factors  helps. Get as many senses involved as you can. That could also involve wearing some of her favorite cologne.

          What Others Are Saying About Foreplay to Last Long Enough

          Positive Reviews:

          In answer to the question, "How to cure premature ejaculation?" One Reddit user shared, "Having issues pre-ing your pants? I recommend a ton of foreplay, like hours of it. The ladies love to cuddle before and after..."

           

           

          Another Redditor said, "Spend more time on sensually massaging her and giving oral. The closer she is, the less time you'll have to spend in there!"

           

           

          7. Try to Reduce Performance Anxiety

          Stop performance anxiety

          Crippling anxiety can show up in virtually any area of life. This includes sexual performance anxiety. 

          Besides in the bedroom, performance anxiety commonly takes place in social settings, while public speaking or during a musical or athletic performance.

          There are certain expectations others have for you when you’re performing. And you don’t want to let others or yourself down. 

          The same is true of sexual performance anxiety in the bedroom (with the added vulnerability of romantic love).

          What often leads to such anxiety? 

          Usually, it’s the fear of things not going as desired, especially if premature ejaculation is at the root of your anxiety. It’s the anticipatory fear of failing that wreaks havoc on your mental and physical state. 

          Sadly, this fear of failure often leads to more of the very thing you most fear—more failure.

          Sexual performance anxiety can get especially bad if you’ve had one or more disappointing experiences during intimacy in the past. For instance, the embarrassment and frustration that often accompany not lasting long enough can really hurt your self-confidence. 

          Each new time before intimacy, you become increasingly worried things won’t go well.

          And the more you experience an anxious physiological and mental response beforehand, the more difficulty you’ll have.

          Often anxiety sufferers avoid whatever makes them anxious. While that may make them feel safe in the short term, in the long run, they miss out on important aspects of life.

          This is especially true of sexual intimacy for men. Avoiding sexual intimacy because it makes you anxious will leave you feeling lonely, inadequate and unloved.

          How to Decrease Your Sexual Performance Anxiety

          What can you do to combat sexual performance anxiety? Here are a few quick ideas.

          1. Don’t Give Up: First, continually remind yourself not to let your anxiety win. Remind yourself of how much you stand to gain if you overcome your sexual performance anxiety.
          1. Discuss Your Anxiety with Your Partner: You don’t have to struggle with this anxiety alone. One of the first things you can do is discuss the struggle with your partner. Sometimes just admitting the anxiety exists can help a lot.
          1. Let Go of What You Can’t Change: Sometimes guys struggle with body-image insecurities. Often, these things bother us far more than it does our female partner. 

          This could include your body type, penis size or a number of other factors. 

          Decide if you can change these things or not. If you can’t, the best thing you can do is learn to be at peace with them.

          1. Improve What You Can Change: Work on things that you can change. This may include improving your physique. Just getting in better shape will help to relieve sexual performance anxiety too.
          1. See a Counselor: Therapists are trained to help you overcome anxiety.

          What Others Say About Decreasing Your Anxiety to Last Longer

          Positive Reviews:

          In answer to, "Beating premature ejaculation? Anyone?" one Reddit user said, "One mental thing, which I know is easier said than done, is not to worry about it in the moment. I found that the more worried I was about trying not to come right away, the more often I did. But when I started to worry about it less, I ironically found I could last longer."

           

           

          Another responder to the same question said, "Oh, and managing my anxiety. When your nervous system is in overdrive, it's impossible to last long."’

           

           

          8. Masturbate Prior to Sex

          Masturbating before sex

          As a guy, your sexual energy builds up over time. That means the longer you go between an orgasm, the more your body will crave it. Because of this, that pent-up sexual desire makes it easier to climax.

          That’s great and all as long as you don’t come too soon for your partner. However, this can sometimes pose a problem. 

          What do you do in that case? 

          Some find it helpful to masturbate and climax before having sex.

          That way, your sexual build-up and desire won’t be as strong, giving you increased ability to last longer in bed.

          How to Get the Best Results from Masturbating Before Sex

          Are there benefits to masturbating?Tips and fun facts about male masturbation

            

          1. Consider the Refractory Period: All men have some time in between orgasms where they can’t get hard or orgasm. For younger guys, this could only be several minutes. For older men, however, this could last as long as 12 to 24 hours.

          Get to know how long it typically takes you to recover so you’re able to get an erection once intercourse begins. For most guys, one or two hours before intimacy is a good rule of thumb.

          1. Experiment: Try getting a release at different times before sex. Experiment with what works best to help you delay orgasm later on.
          1. Include Your Partner: If you can, why not include your partner in this process? She might be willing to give you a quickie to help prepare you for the ‘main show’.
          2. Do some extra reading: Sometimes it helps when you have a deeper understanding of how your reproductive system works. For more detailed information regarding male masturbation, we recommend reading our guide. 

           

          What Others are Saying About Pre-Sex Masturbation for PE

          Positive Reviews:

          One Redditor responded to the same question by saying, "One technique is masturbation. Not too long before you plan on having activities but not too close that you haven't recovered yet."

           

           

           Negative Review:

          In response to the question, "Beating premature ejaculation? Anyone?" one Reddit user said, "I'm not a big proponent of just jerking an hour or two prior as that inhibits my drive too much."

           

           

          9. Improve Your Cardio Health

          Sexual benefits of improved cardiovascular health

          Improving your cardio health won’t bring instant success like a delay spray can give you. At the same time, a study conducted by the ISSM showed that improving your heart health betters every aspect of your bodily functioning, including how you perform during sex.

          Better yet, improving your cardio health can drastically increase the odds that you’ll have a satisfying sex life for many years to come.

          Whether you hope to tone up some or lose your belly fat, this will help your sexual ability too.

          Your physical appearance, endurance, overall health and confidence will all improve as a result. You’ll also see an improvement and reduction in any anxiety or depression you may have.

          For instance, holding out long enough to please your partner requires some measure of physical fitness. If you struggle to maintain your stamina during intimacy, you’ll also struggle to bring your partner to climax.

          How to Improve Your Cardio Health To Last Longer In Bed

          Just how can you improve your cardio health? Any type of exercise that raises your heart rate is a great start. This could include:

          • Playing basketball at the gym
          • Jogging with your dog
          • Swimming
          • Biking
          • Tennis
          • Jumping rope
          • Walking or hiking at a brisk pace
          • And many other possibilities

          Here are some cardio tips to consider if you decide on one or more possible exercise types to improve your overall sexual wellness.

          1. Stay Consistent: You’re better off doing shorter cardio workouts each day instead of attempting long exercise regimens only several days per week.
          1. Exercise with a Friend: If possible, exercise with a friend or friends as you’ll be more likely to stay consistent. 

          Better yet, exercise with your partner. This not only will strengthen your bodies but also your relationship.

          1. Have Fun: Exercise can be hard enough as it is. For that reason, find a form of cardio exercise you enjoy. 

          Remember, if you don’t like your exercise form, you’ll probably give up on it quickly. You don’t get ‘extra points’ for having a miserable exercise routine and life is too short for that anyway.

          1. Choose Variety: Although having an exercise routine can be healthful, be sure that your routine doesn’t become boring. 

          Regularly mix up the type of cardio workout you do. Not only will it be more interesting, but you’ll also work different muscles and, in turn, see more desirable results.

          1. Don’t Overdo It: Start slow with your cardio regimen. The last thing you want is an injury to slow you down. Also, mix in easy days with the tougher ones.
          1. Incorporate Weights: Be sure to balance cardio workouts with strength building for the best results. And many forget that strength training also improves your heart health.

          Whenever you feel like slacking on your workouts, remember that your bedroom performance will likely improve if you stay consistent. 

          Besides that, you’re sure to have better sex as a result too. Keep your eye on that goal when you feel like quitting.

          What Others Are Saying About Improving Your Cardio and PE

          Positive Review: 

          One person shared that cardio workouts helped with lasting longer. Here's how he described it:

           

           

          "Exercise! The more I run, the longer I last and you get in shape. Much better/safer alternative to drugs!"

          10. Practice Breathing Exercises or Yoga

          Yoga exercises and breathing to last longer in bed

          You may look at this remedy and think, “Seriously?” But yoga and breathing exercises aren’t just for the ladies. You can also reap plenty of benefits as a guy.

          A study conducted by the Duke University School of Medicine found that yoga and breathing exercises help to get the body and mind in touch with each other. And yoga takes it a step farther by incorporating the spiritual aspect. 

          They help you to stay focused on the moment. And depending on the type of yoga you do, it can help to strengthen muscles important for ejaculation.

          Good sex requires a relaxed mind and body. Both of these potential solutions can help with that.

          Good breathing is also important for managing sexual performance anxiety. If your breathing is relaxed, your mind and body will likely stay relaxed too. However, if you begin to become upset and exhibit shallow breathing, your anxiety could spike.

          Shallow breaths may not always tell your body to get anxious. Instead, it may tell your body to get excited too fast. Guys often have short shallow breaths when they become sexually aroused during intimacy.

          The problem is that this causes them to come too soon. 

          By learning to breathe deeply, some men have found this helpful in being able to minimize sexual tension and heightened arousal early on during intimacy. The result is they can last longer in bed.

          How to Carry Out Yoga and Deep Breathing to Last Longer

          Yoga

          Probably the best way to learn yoga techniques is to join a local class near you. There's also an abundance of videos online if you’d rather try it at home. 

          Whether you learn from an instructor or become self-taught, you’ll likely see a variety of life improvements even if you don’t notice a difference in your bedroom performance.

          There are many different types of yoga available. 

          Once you see the options out there and learn their unique benefits, you’ll be able to choose the type that works best for you.

          Since a central part of yoga involves deep breathing, you’ll learn in detail how to control your breathing.

          Deep Breathing

          Here are some quick tips for deep breathing:

          1. Relaxed Pose: Start by sitting or lying down in a comfortable position.
          2. Feel Your Breaths: Place one hand on your chest and the other on your stomach right below the rib cage.
          1. Breathe Deeply: Take deep breaths through your nostrils. You should feel your stomach pushing out as you breathe in air.
          1. Exhale: With your lips shaped like you’re about to whistle, release the air through your mouth. Gently use your hand to help press out the air.
          1. Repeat: With all of your muscles relaxed, repeat this process at least 15 times.

          What People Are Saying About Breathing and Yoga for PE

          Positive Reviews:

          In response to, "How to handle sucking in bed, premature ejaculation?" one Reddit user said, "Breathing, look up sex god method. Shit helps..."

           

           

          A similar question posed on Reddit was, "How to NOT prematurely ejaculate." One Redditor said, "Breathe. Take a full breath deep into your lungs, and then all the way out. Don't get caught in one small section of the breathing process. Continue breathing fully."

           

           

          11. Visit a Sex Therapist

          Have you tried a variety of techniques to help with early ejaculation lately with little success? If so, it could be wise to visit a sex therapist.

          Although seeking out a sex therapist may seem a bit intimidating, there’s no cause for concern.

          How to Set Up a Visit with a Sex Therapist

          1. Ask for Certification: This is your first step is to seek out a sex therapist on the web. Ask to see their certification to ensure your therapist has the necessary education to legally work as a sex therapist.
          1. Ask for a Referral: If you feel intimidated about finding your own sex therapist, you have several other options. First, you can ask your family physician for their recommendation or for a referral. 

          Also, if you’re already seeing a general therapist, you can ask them for a referral. Talking to the health professionals you know is always a great first step if you want the best results. Most health professionals have close networks which allow them to make solid recommendations.

          1. Schedule and Relax: You won’t tell your sex therapist anything that’ll surprise them. They’ve heard it all. 

          For that reason, schedule your appointment and try not to worry about any potential embarrassment. Your sex therapist is well-trained to handle the sexual challenges of others.

          1. Consider Couples Therapy: Especially if your issue has negatively affected your relationship, seeing a sex therapist can help you overcome any stressors that have developed as a couple. You’ll be able to talk through your relational and sexual frustrations with a confidential, highly skilled and unbiased third party.
          1. Address Underlying Issues: Your sex therapist can help you and your partner work through any underlying challenges whether that’s anxiety or depression. You’ll also be able to address any other relational challenges you may be dealing with.

          12. Try Desensitizing Condoms

          If early ejaculation is an ongoing struggle, you may want to consider trying desensitizing condoms. Besides providing the already-known benefits of birth control and safer sex, they also can help guys last longer in bed.

          Note; We recommend trying a delay spray like Promescent before condoms as you are able to control the dosage and where to apply - something you cannot do with a desensitizing condom.

          If you find yourself coming way earlier than your partner, desensitizing condoms can provide a potent one-two punch to help with that. Even condoms without added desensitizing solutions provide some desensitization.

          If ‘normal’ condoms don’t work and you still come too early, that means you’ll need some additional desensitizing action.

          The desensitizing gel (usually benzocaine) that’s added to the tip of some condoms can add the extra delay control you need. These condoms make for easy cleanup and there’s little concern that the desensitizing gel will negatively impact your partner’s sexual enjoyment.

          How to Use Desensitizing Condoms

          Using a desensitizing condom is relatively simple. Here are a few extra suggestions to ensure you get great results.

          1. Take Your Time: Remember that, just like with delay sprays, the numbing effects of your desensitizing condom won’t happen automatically. It’s best to wait between five and 15 minutes before intercourse. 

          That means you’ll either have to put on the condom before or during foreplay (depending on how long it takes your partner to get ready).

          1. Size Matters: Much more than your penis size, choosing the correct condom size matters in a big way. Too small of a condom could easily rip. Too big of one could slip off. 

          If this happens with a desensitizing condom, the stakes will be much higher. You’ll now have introduced all of that desensitizing gel to your partner (who needs greater sensitivity, not less)!

          1. Give it Several Tries: If you try desensitizing condoms once, and they don’t work perfectly, give them a few more tries. It may be more of a timing thing you need to figure out. You also may find that a certain brand of desensitizing condoms works better for you than another.

          What Others Are Saying About Desensitizing Condoms

          Positive Review:

          One happy customer left a review entitled, "It really is long-lasting."The customer went on to say, "My boyfriend and I decided to try a new condom, and we picked this one. I was a bit skeptical about it being long-lasting. Well, sure enough, it was long-lasting. We were messing around for about 30 minutes and usually a certain position makes him finish. We were able to do that certain position multiple times!!! We both loved it!!!"

           

           

          Negative Reviews:

          Not everyone had the same positive experience though. Another user left a review for a similar product entitled, "Insipid and unpleasant" 

          Here's the review in their own words: "Poor experience. Significantly numbs your feeling (that’s presumably why it proclaimed to “slow him down”) and thus made a pleasant, stimulating experience horrible insipid. Very oily surface (arguably for lubricating purpose, yet very obnoxious), with intensely unpleasant smell like marijuana. The only merit I can find is the affordability."

          13. Talk to Your Partner

           

          By nature, not lasting long enough in bed is an isolating struggle because it can be embarrassing to bring up. 

          First, remember that this is a very common challenge for guys. Next, resist the urge to handle this problem on your own and talk with your partner instead.

          Communicating with your partner about it can provide a major boost in overcoming premature ejaculation. 

          For instance, what if your partner has wrongly assumed you don’t want to sexually please her and that you care only for yourself?

          By discussing these challenges, you’ll be able to let her know that you badly want to please her. 

          Once your partner understands what’s happening, she’ll be more sympathetic and willing to help.

          Most of the time, guys are harder on themselves about their perceived sexual prowess than their female partner ever would be. It’s often an ego thing.

          Your female partner will generally be more communicative than you. That’s just how most relationships play out and that’s also OK. 

          Your partner will realize it took courage for you to bring the challenge up and will respect you for taking the risk.

          How to Talk to Your Partner

          How your discussion with your partner plays out will depend on a number of factors. 

          Of course, the stronger your relationship is, the likelier you’ll experience a positive outcome. 

          Here are a few extra tips to help make this discussion more successful.

          1. Avoid Talking When You’re Upset: Because disappointing sex can be frustrating for you and your partner, don’t bring up the matter when you’re both tired or upset. Instead, talk about it when you’re out of the bedroom, well-rested, not stressed and in a good mood.
          1. Find a Comfortable Environment: Bringing up your struggles for the first time could be a bit anxiety-inducing. For that reason, find an environment that’s naturally relaxing for both of you. That could be after a good movie, during a nature walk or while driving to your favorite restaurant.
          1. Ask for Help: Your relationship involves a lot of give and take to be successful. For that reason, ask your partner for her help, reminding her of the benefits for both of you.

          Your partner will likely be happy to work through this challenge. Asking for help shows vulnerability and humility—two traits a woman appreciates in her man.

          1. Be Open to Advice: Your partner definitely isn’t your clone. And that’s probably a big part of what led to your mutual attraction. 

          In light of that, be open to suggestions from your partner. Some of them will likely be different from your ideas. And that’s exactly what you want. The more different ideas of how to tackle the problem, the more likely you’ll come up with a good solution.

          What Others Are Saying

          Positive Reviews:

          One Reddit user shared that, "Communicating changed everything for us, and it's helped give me the confidence to last as long as I want to recently..."

           

           

          14. Incorporate Toys (Cock Rings and Penis Extenders)

          When it comes to sex toys, you can always use them to add some variety to your foreplay. As already shared, this means your partner will be ready to go once penile-vaginal intercourse begins.

          To last longer you can also incorporate cock rings and penis extenders if you’d like.

          Cock rings restrict the blood flow from your penis once it’s erect. The result is an erection that’s stronger. Another benefit to cock rings is that they provide increased sensation at the same time. The vibrating varieties can be very pleasurable for your partner.

          Penis extenders can be placed over your penis, adding as much length and girth as you and your partner desire. 

          They look and feel realistic. 

          Better yet, these extenders decrease sensitivity for men while potentially increasing it for the female partner.

          Penis extenders offer a more effective and safer option to increase size than surgeries or penis-stretching devices do.

          How to use Cock Rings and Penis Extenders

          1. Follow the Directions: Especially if used incorrectly, cock rings can cause injury. For that reason, carefully follow any directions provided by your product.
          1. Talk with Your Partner: Before including items like cock rings or penis extenders, discuss the matter with your partner. Value their input and take it into consideration.
          1. Respect Her Wishes: There are some things your female partner may be comfortable with and some that they’re not. Respect her wishes if she says 'no' to a certain idea you have. 

          You can always bring up the suggestion at a later date. Just be sure not to pressure your partner into something she doesn't want to do.

          1. Be Adventurous: It doesn’t hurt to try a variety of toys to see what works best for you as a couple. These days, what you decide on can both increase the pleasure of intimacy while helping with coming too early.

          What Others Are Saying About Cock Rings and Penis Extenders to Last Longer

          Positive Reviews:

          A satisfied customer who purchased a penis extender shared the following: "Very comfortable, also stays on. Great way to change it up with your partner and have some fun."

           

           

          One happy customer who purchased cock rings said, "This one is absolutely exceptional the quality and comfort is hands down one the top "marital aid's" I've used so far.

           

           

          IT REALLY DOES MAKE IT BIGGER, HARDER, AND LASTED WAY LONGER!!"

          Negative Reviews:

          Regarding cock rings, one customer didn't have such a great experience, saying, "If you like pain this is for you."

           

           

          15. Adult Circumcision

          Although roughly 77% of boys in the US are circumcised at a young age, that still adds up to millions who don’t undergo circumcision. The decision usually comes down to the religious beliefs, traditions and personal preferences of their parents. 

          The most common time for circumcision is shortly after birth or during early childhood.

          Although the choice to circumcise or not is typically viewed as a cosmetic and cultural thing, it could impact a guy’s sex life. This is especially relevant for guys who haven’t been circumcised but struggle in bed. WebMD cited that uncircumcised men, on average, climax earlier than circumcised men.

          It should be noted that there are conflicting reports about how effective circumcision is for premature ejaculation.

          There are three different schools of thought so far:

          1. Permanent Sensitivity Loss: Some studies would suggest removal of the foreskin results in permanent although slight desensitization of the penis. This is generally viewed as a sexual advantage as it would allow a man to last longer for their partner.
          1. Temporary Ability to Last Longer: Other medical professionals suggest that circumcision doesn’t bring about the permanent ability to last longer in bed. Rather, it’s believed by some that this ability is the temporary effect of sensation changes in the penis. According to those in this camp, sensitivity eventually returns to normal and no long-lasting advantage is achieved.
          1. Makes No Difference: Some studies would suggest that circumcision or its absence makes no difference in how long it takes men to climax.

          How to Go About Adult Circumcision

          1. Weigh the Pros and Cons: Based on the conflicting info regarding the benefits of adult circumcision, you may not want to go through with the surgery just for that reason alone. Instead, it would make better sense to consider the potential benefits of other options listed in this guide.
          1. Speak with Your Doctor: If you become serious about adult circumcision, speak with your family doctor. You’ll then be referred to a surgeon.
          1. Plan for Recovery: Be sure to schedule time off from work and make necessary arrangements for the recovery process. Adult circumcision can be painful so don’t force yourself to resume normal activities too early.

          16. Get a Bottle of St. John’s Wort

          Could St. John’s wort help with premature ejaculation? One scientific study would suggest that this is a good possibility.

          St. John’s wort is a highly common herbal supplement found at virtually any store with a vitamin section. Those who’ve experienced any significant battle with depression and sought solutions likely have come across this supplement at some point.

          St. John’s wort, thankfully, has little to do with a dead saint or warts. 

          Yes, the name is more than a little unappealing to those considering the supplement for the first time. In reality, St. John’s wort is merely a flowering herbal plant. 

          Most of the desired potency derived from the herb is found in its flowers. The flowers are used to make dietary capsules, teas and liquid extracts.

          How Does St. John’s Wort Help with Premature Ejaculation?

          A variety of studies would collectively suggest that St. John’s wort can help with premature ejaculation both directly and indirectly. 

          Potential Indirect Benefits

          Because studies would imply that St. John’s wort could be useful to some for managing depression, it may indirectly help you with ejauclation. If you struggle with depression, that can make your battle with ejaculatory dysfunction all the more challenging. 

          If your symptoms include the underlying cause of depression, St. John’s wort might indirectly improve your situation as your depression improves. The herb appears to have a positive effect on neurotransmitters like serotonin. 

           Potential Direct Benefits

          A study concluded that St. John’s wort, “increased the duration of sexual intercourse before ejaculation for men with and without complaints of PE. Sexual satisfaction improved for both the men and his partner after hyperforin use.”

          Another study suggests that St. John’s wort, “inhibits rat and human vas deferens contractility.”In other words, the supplement may directly help guys to delay ejaculation.

          17. Visit a Doctor for Prescription Pills

          Besides potential supplements like St. John’s wort, another possibility to consider is prescription pills. 

          It’s generally advisable not to use prescription pills as a first or second choice because each prescription drug will come with a variety of potential side effects. You and your physician will have to determine if the cure outweighs the downsides of the med you're trying.

          If you’ve tried a variety of the techniques provided in this guide and you still struggle to manage your symptoms, it could be time to talk with your doctor.

          Read More: Premature Ejaculation Pills: Do They Work?

          How to Talk with Your Physician About Prescription Pills

          If you’ll be seeing your physician for the first time regarding lasting longer in bed, it’s understandable if you feel a little nervous or uncomfortable. 

          You may worry that discussing your condition will be embarrassing or that your doctor won’t understand your struggle.

          In light of that, here are some tips that should help when requesting a prescription medication for premature ejaculation.

          1. Make the Call:One of the most uncomfortable things about talking to your doctor could be setting up your initial appointment. Push past that discomfort by remembering the potential improvement in your sex life will be well worth it in the long run.
          1. Bring Your Partner:If your partner can make your appointment, suggest that she comes along with you. This will help to ease your anxiety when speaking to your doctor. Your partner may be able to add valuable information you’ve forgotten too.
          1. Share How You’ve Tried to Overcome Premature Ejaculation:Doctors are becoming increasingly wary about handing out medications. For this reason, your physician may want to know what other less invasive solutions you’ve tried. Your physician won’t want to subject you to unnecessary side effects.
          1. Discuss Your Struggle:Next, be open about your struggles. Be completely honest about how difficult your condition has been and how it’s negatively impacted your relationship with your partner. 
          1. Try a Prescription:Based on the information you share with your doctor, he or she will likely prescribe one of several potential prescription drugs aimed at helping your symptoms.

          2. Go to Your Follow-Up Appointments:Finally, be sure to take your follow-up appointments seriously. This is a great time to assess how the prescription pills have worked. Because every guy’s body chemistry is a little different, it will likely take some trial and error to figure out the best prescription and dosage for you.

          18. Try to Distract Yourself

          Distraction for men to keep mind off sex

          When attempting to last longer in bed, keep in mind that your mind plays a big role as well. 

          Think back to the times when you became super aroused during sex. Inevitably, that arousal started with a sexually charged thought you had.

          Try paying better attention to the brain’s role in helping you to build sexual interest to the point of climax. Then, you’ll be more prepared to direct your thoughts in a way that either delays or speeds up orgasm.

          How to Distract Your Thoughts to Help You Last in Bed

          If you find yourself speeding up too fast, try thinking of something less overtly sexual or something that isn’t sexual at all.

          That could be almost anything although your overall experience will be more enjoyable if you think of something fun or relaxing such as:

          1. Playing a round of golf
          1. Attending a baseball game (thinking of baseball is the old sexual distraction joke among guys)
          1. Fishing a pristine river
          1. Off-roading through the Canadian wilderness
          1. Hang gliding
          1. Swimming on a secluded tropical beach 

          What do you think of if none of these work? 

          You could try thinking about unpaid bills, imagine yourself in a traffic jam or picture your mother-in-law ringing your doorbell.

          What People are Saying About Distracting Your Thinking to Last Longer

          Positive Reviews:

          In answer to the question, "How to cure premature ejaculation?" one Reddit user responded, "Nuns and baseball dude." Apparently, distracted thinking must've worked for him!

           

           

           Another Reddit user responded to the same question by saying,"Others will include keeping your mind elsewhere. Sort of like a hideous Zen meditation where you are looking at your grandmother naked."

           

           

          For another Reddit user, 'sandwiches' were the secret sauce: "I've found thinking about sandwiches helps. Whenever I'm trying to last longer and I feel it coming. I just think "sandwiches, sandwiches, sandwiches" works every time."

           

           

          Takeaways 

          Many of these improvement techniques are interconnected. By doing well with one of them, that’ll likely carry over into other areas. 

          For instance, talking about your performance in bed with your partner can help to decrease your performance anxiety.

          Maybe changing up sex positions, using a delay spray like Promescent or visiting a sex therapist will be the solution.

          The more you approach overcoming premature ejaculation from different angles, the more you will succeed. 

          It’s also likely that several of these techniques either won’t be your thing or something that works for you. And that’s totally OK. 

          The adventure is in figuring out what works best for you and your partner. And it really can be an adventure. 

          You’ll find out things about each other you otherwise never would’ve. The end result can be an even stronger relationship because you had to work through your challenge.

          As you embark on your quest to last longer in bed, remember that there are many options available out there that can help. We’re all unique, one technique that works for one guy may not work for another.

          Related Articles:

           

          Guides

          Last Longer in Bed (Ultimate Guide 2020)

          Last Longer in Bed (Ultimate Guide 2020)

          The Ultimate Guide - Premature Ejaculation

          The Ultimate Guide - Premature Ejaculation

          Blogs

          Sexual Performance Anxiety & Tips to Overcome It

          Sexual Performance Anxiety & Tips to Overcome It

          Foreplay Tips for Men

          Foreplay Tips for Men

          Kegel Exercises For Men to Last Longer: Step by Step Guide

          Kegel Exercises For Men to Last Longer: Step by Step Guide

          Health Benefits of Sex: For Men, For Women, For Both

          Health Benefits of Sex: For Men, For Women, For Both

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