18 Tips on How to Last Longer In Bed

7. Focus on Foreplay

Some guys reach climax during the foreplay stage of sex.

As such, they attempt to do no foreplay at all, or they don’t do enough.

Then, they quickly finish with sex and wonder why they climaxed so much earlier than their partner.

Women and men are quite different in how sex arouses them. 

There’s indeed a physical and emotional element to sexual intimacy for both.

With that said, women do typically fall much more on the emotional side of the spectrum than men.

Guys tend to focus more on the physical sex act itself.

You need to give your partner plenty of warm-up time before penile-vaginal intercourse begins.

Your partner will also feel more loved, cared for, and special if you take your time with her.

This helps to get her physical and sexual desire going in a way that, starting with thrusting, never could.

For some guys, more foreplay can solve your lasting longer in bed issues regarding how your partner perceives your performance.

It delays your orgasm (little to no stimulation to the penis during foreplay for her) while getting your partner closer to climax at the same time.

But what about women? Just what should you focus on when it comes to foreplay for women? 

Although there are endless possibilities, here are a few to consider.

Ways to Include Foreplay to Get Your Partner Off

Earlier in the Day: First, keep in mind that sex isn’t just about the time you spend in the bedroom. It’s equally important what you do outside of it. Treating your partner kindly and being helpful never hurts. The same goes for hugs, kisses, and other forms of affection. If you’ve been a jerk to her and now expect to have great sex, you’ll likely be in for a rude awakening later on.

Take Your Time: Set aside plenty of time before you ever start lovemaking. Allowing for more time than you think you’ll need is best.

Back Rubs: Most women love a good back rub. It helps them relax and put aside any stressors they may have had earlier in their day. It’s often a great place to start with foreplay.

Arousing Words: Start slow with your words. There’s no need to talk too sexy until she’s further along. Just start by complimenting her on her appearance. Once she’s heated up a bit, then you’ll be able to make your words more sexual.

Environmental Factors: Be sure to have a clean room ready when that special moment arrives. Also, consider candles and music as a nice touch.

Save work, financial and child-centered concerns for another time.

You need to successfully help her leave that world of responsibilities to get her in the mood for sex.

Setting the right mood by paying attention to environmental factors helps. Get as many senses involved as you can.

That could also involve wearing some of her favorite cologne.

8. Try to Reduce Performance Anxiety

Crippling anxiety can show up in virtually any area of life. This includes sexual performance anxiety. 

Besides in the bedroom, performance anxiety commonly occurs in social settings, while public speaking, or during a musical or athletic performance.

There are certain expectations others have for you when you’re performing. And you don’t want to let others or yourself down. 

The same is true of sexual performance anxiety in the bedroom (with the added vulnerability of romantic love).

What often leads to such anxiety? 

Usually, it’s the fear of things not going as desired, especially if you experience premature ejaculation or erectile dysfunction.

This can wreak havoc on your mental health when it comes to sexual activity.

The anticipatory fear of failing is so strong in some men that it actually becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Sexual performance anxiety can get especially bad if you’ve had one or more disappointing experiences during intimacy in the past.

For instance, the embarrassment and frustration that often accompanies not lasting long enough can hurt your self-confidence. 

Before intimacy, you become increasingly worried things won’t go well each new time.

And the more you experience an anxious physiological and mental response beforehand, the more difficulty you’ll have.

Often anxiety sufferers avoid whatever makes them anxious.

While that may make them feel safe in the short term, they miss out on important aspects of life in the long run.

This is especially true of sexual intimacy for men.

Avoiding sexual intimacy because it makes you anxious will leave you feeling lonely, inadequate, and unloved.

How to Decrease Your Sexual Performance Anxiety

What can you do to combat sexual performance anxiety and last longer in bed?

Here are a few quick ideas:

Don’t Give Up: First, continually remind yourself not to let your anxiety win. Remind yourself of how much you stand to gain if you overcome your sexual performance anxiety.

Discuss Your Anxiety with Your Partner: You don’t have to struggle with this anxiety alone. Sometimes, just admitting to the anxiety can help your overall mental health.

Let Go of What You Can’t Change: This could include your body type, penis size, or several other factors. Decide if you can change these things or not. If you can’t, the best thing you can do is learn to be at peace with them.

Improve What You Can Change: Work on things that you can change. This may include improving your physique. Just getting in better shape will help to relieve sexual performance anxiety too.

See a Counselor: Therapists are trained to help you overcome anxiety.

9. Improve Your Cardio Health

Improving your cardio health won’t give you instant results like a premature ejaculation spray.

But, it will increase your stamina and blood flow, which will help you last longer during sex and may even help you achieve stronger erections.

At the same time, a study conducted by the ISSM showed that improving your heart health betters every aspect of your bodily functioning, including how you perform during sex.

Better yet, improving your cardio health can drastically increase the odds that you’ll have a satisfying sex life for many years to come.

Whether you hope to tone up some or lose your belly fat, this will also help your overall sexual health.

Your physical appearance, endurance, overall health, and confidence will all improve; as a result, all of which will help you last longer in bed.

You’ll also see an improvement and reduction in any anxiety or depression you may have.

For instance, holding out long enough to please your partner requires some measure of physical fitness.

If you struggle to maintain your stamina during sexual activity, you’ll also struggle to bring your partner to climax.

How to Improve Your Cardio Health To Last Longer In Bed

Just how can you improve your sexual health? Any type of exercise that raises your heart rate and increases blood flow is a great place to start.

This could include:

• Playing basketball at the gym
• Jogging with your dog
• Swimming
• Biking
• Tennis
• Jumping rope
• Walking or hiking at a brisk pace
• And many other possibilities

Here are some cardio tips to consider if you decide on one or more possible exercise types to improve your overall sexual wellness.

Stay Consistent: You’re better off doing shorter cardio workouts each day instead of attempting long exercise regimens only several days per week.

Exercise with a Friend: If possible, exercise with a friend or friends as you’ll be more likely to stay consistent. Better yet, exercise with your partner.

Have Fun: Exercise can be hard enough as it is. For that reason, find a form of cardio exercise you enjoy. Remember, if you don’t like your exercise form, you’ll probably give up on it quickly.

Choose Variety: Although having an exercise routine can be healthful, be sure that your routine doesn’t become boring. Regularly mix up the type of cardio workout you do. Not only will it be more interesting, but you’ll also work different muscles and, in turn, see more desirable results.

Don’t Overdo It: Start slow with your cardio regimen. The last thing you want is an injury to slow you down. Also, mix in easy days with the tougher ones.

Incorporate Weights: Be sure to balance cardio workouts with strength building for the best results. And many forget that strength training also improves your heart health.

Whenever you feel like slacking on your workouts, remember that your bedroom performance will likely improve if you stay consistent. 

Besides that, you’re sure to have better sex as a result too.

Keep your eye on that goal when you feel like quitting.

10. Practice Breathing Exercises or Yoga

You may look at this remedy and think, "Seriously?" But yoga and breathing exercises aren’t just for the ladies.

You can also reap plenty of benefits as a guy.

A study conducted by the Duke University School of Medicine found that yoga and breathing exercises help to get the body and mind in touch.

And yoga takes it a step further by incorporating the spiritual aspect. 

They help you to stay focused on the moment.

And depending on the type of yoga you do, it can help to strengthen muscles important for ejaculation.

Good sex requires a relaxed mind and body.

Both of these potential solutions can help with that.

Good breathing is also important for managing sexual performance anxiety.

Your mind and body will likely stay relaxed if your breathing is relaxed.

However, if you begin to become upset and exhibit shallow breathing, your anxiety could spike.

Shallow breaths may not always tell your body to get anxious. Instead, it may tell your body to get excited too fast.

Guys often have short, shallow breaths when they become sexually aroused during intimacy.

The problem is that this causes them to cum too soon.

By learning to breathe deeply, some men have found this helpful in being able to minimize sexual tension and heightened arousal early on during the sexual activity.

The result is they can last longer in bed.

How to Carry Out Yoga and Deep Breathing to Last Longer in Bed

Yoga

Probably the best way to learn yoga techniques is to join a local class near you.

There's also an abundance of videos online if you’d rather try it at home. 

Whether you learn from an instructor or become self-taught, you’ll likely see a variety of life improvements even if you don’t notice a difference in your bedroom performance.

There are many different types of yoga available. 

Once you see the options out there and learn their unique benefits, you’ll be able to choose the type that works best for you.

Since a central part of yoga involves deep breathing, you’ll learn in detail how to control your breathing.

Deep Breathing

Here are some quick tips for deep breathing:

Relaxed Pose: Start by sitting or lying down in a comfortable position.

Feel Your Breaths: Place one hand on your chest and the other on your stomach right below the rib cage.

Breathe Deeply: Take deep breaths through your nostrils. You should feel your stomach pushing out as you breathe in air.

Exhale: With your lips shaped like you’re about to whistle, release the air through your mouth. Gently use your hand to help press out the air.

Repeat: With all of your muscles relaxed, repeat this process at least 15 times.

11. Visit a Sex Therapist

Have you tried a variety of techniques to help with sexual anxiety or premature ejaculation with little success?

If so, it could be wise to visit a sex therapist.

Although seeking out a sex therapist may seem a bit intimidating; there’s no cause for concern.

How to Set Up a Visit with a Sex Therapist

Ask for Certification: This is your first step is to seek out a sex therapist on the web. Ask to see their certification to ensure your therapist has the necessary education to work as a sex therapist legally.

Ask for a Referral: If you feel intimidated about finding a sex therapist on your own, you have several other options. First, you can ask your family physician for their recommendation or a referral. Also, if you’re already seeing a general therapist, you can ask them for a referral.

Schedule and Relax: You won’t tell your sex therapist anything that’ll surprise them. They’ve heard it all. For that reason, schedule your appointment and try not to worry about any potential embarrassment. Your sex therapist is well-trained to handle the sexual challenges of others.

Consider Couples Therapy: Especially if your issue has negatively affected your relationship, seeing a sex therapist can help you overcome any stressors that have developed as a couple. You’ll be able to talk through your relational and sexual frustrations with a confidential, highly skilled, and unbiased third party.

Address Underlying Issues: Your sex therapist can help you and your partner work through any underlying challenges, be it anxiety, depression, or both.

You’ll also be able to address any other relational challenges you may be dealing with at the moment.

12. Try Desensitizing Condoms

If premature ejaculation is an ongoing struggle, you may also want to consider trying desensitizing condoms.

Besides providing the benefits of birth control and safer sex, they can also delay ejaculation and help guys last longer in bed.

Note: We recommend trying a premature ejaculation spray like Promescent before condoms as you can control the dosage and where to apply - something you cannot do with a desensitizing condom.

If you find yourself coming way earlier than your partner, desensitizing condoms can provide a potent one-two punch to help with that.

Even condoms without added desensitizing solutions provide some desensitization.

If "normal" condoms don’t work and you still cum too early, that means you’ll need some additional desensitizing action.

The desensitizing gel, usually benzocaine, that’s added to the tip of some condoms can add the extra delay control you need during sexual activity.

These condoms make for easy cleanup, and there’s little concern that the desensitizing gel will negatively impact your partner’s sexual enjoyment.

How to Use Desensitizing Condoms

Using a desensitizing condom is relatively simple. Here are a few extra suggestions to ensure you get great results.

Take Your Time: Remember that, just like with premature ejaculation sprays, the numbing effects of your desensitizing condom won’t happen automatically. It’s best to wait between five and 15 minutes before intercourse. That means you’ll either have to put on the condom before or during foreplay (depending on how long it takes your partner to get ready).

Size Matters: Much more than your penis size, choosing the correct condom size matters in a big way. Too small of a condom could easily rip. Too big of one could slip off. The stakes will be much higher if this happens with a desensitizing condom. Now you’ve introduced all of that desensitizing gel to your partner (who needs greater sensitivity, not less).

Give it Several Tries: If you’ve tried desensitizing condoms once, and they didn’t work as expected, give them a few more tries. It may be more of a timing thing you need to figure out. You also may find that a particular brand of desensitizing condoms works better for you than another.

13. Talk to Your Partner

By nature, not lasting long enough in bed is an isolating struggle because it can be embarrassing to bring up. 

First, remember that this is a very common challenge for guys.

Next, resist the urge to handle this problem on your own and talk with your partner instead.

Communicating with your partner about it can provide a major boost in confidence in overcoming premature ejaculation.

For instance, what if your partner has wrongly assumed you don’t want to please her sexually and that you care only for yourself?

By discussing these challenges, you’ll be able to let her know that you badly want to please her. 

Once your partner understands what’s happening, she’ll be more sympathetic and willing to help.

Most of the time, guys are harder on themselves about their perceived sexual prowess than their female partner ever would be. It’s often an ego thing.

Your female partner will generally be more communicative than you.

That’s just how most relationships play out, and that’s also OK. 

Your partner will realize it took courage for you to bring the challenge up and will respect you for taking the risk.

How to Talk to Your Partner

How your discussion with your partner plays out will depend on several factors. 

Of course, the stronger your relationship is, the likelier you’ll experience a positive outcome. 

Here are a few extra tips to help make this discussion more successful.

Avoid Talking When You’re Upset: Because disappointing sex can be frustrating for you and your partner, don’t bring up the matter when you’re both tired or upset. Instead, talk about it when you’re out of the bedroom, well-rested, not stressed, and in a good mood.

Find a Comfortable Environment: Bringing up your struggles for the first time could be a bit anxiety-inducing. For that reason, find an environment that’s naturally relaxing for both of you. That could be after a good movie, during a nature walk, or while driving to your favorite restaurant.

Ask for Help: Your relationship involves a lot of give-and-take to be successful. For that reason, ask your partner for her help, reminding her of the benefits for both of you. Asking for help shows vulnerability and humility—two traits a woman appreciates in her man.

Be Open to Advice: Your partner isn’t your clone. And that’s probably a big part of what led to your mutual attraction. 

In light of that, be open to suggestions from your partner. Some of them will likely be different from your ideas. And that’s exactly what you want.

The more different ideas of how to tackle the problem, the more likely you’ll come up with a good solution.

14. Incorporate Toys (Cock Rings and Penis Extenders)

When it comes to sex toys, you can always use them to add some variety to your foreplay.

As already shared, this means your partner will be ready to go once penile-vaginal intercourse begins.

Another thing you can do to last longer in bed you can also incorporate cock rings and penis extenders if you’d like.

Cock rings restrict the blood flow from your penis once it’s erect. The result is a stronger erection and increased sensation.

What’s more, the vibrating varieties can also provide your partner with pleasure.

Penis sleeves can be placed over your penis, adding as much length and girth as you and your partner desire. 

They look and feel realistic. 

Better yet, these extenders decrease sensitivity for men while potentially increasing it for the female partner.

Penis extenders offer a more effective and safer option to increase size than surgeries or penis-stretching devices do.

How to use Cock Rings and Penis Extenders

Follow the Directions: Especially if used incorrectly, cock rings can cause injury. For that reason, carefully follow any directions provided by your product.

Talk with Your Partner: Before including items like cock rings or penis extenders, discuss the matter with your partner. Value their input and take it into consideration.

Respect Her Wishes: There are some things your female partner may be comfortable with and some that they’re not. Respect her wishes if she says 'no' to a certain idea you have.

You can always bring up the suggestion at a later date. Just be sure not to pressure your partner into something she doesn't want to do.

Be Adventurous: It doesn’t hurt to try a variety of toys to see what works best for you as a couple. These days, you have tons to choose from, so do some exploring and see what’s out there.

15. Adult Circumcision

Although roughly 77% of boys in the US are circumcised at a young age, that still adds up to millions who don’t undergo circumcision.

The decision usually comes down to their parent's religious beliefs, traditions, and personal preferences. 

The most common time for circumcision is shortly after birth or during early childhood.

Although the choice to circumcise or not is typically viewed as a cosmetic and cultural thing, it could impact a guy’s sexual activity.

This is especially relevant for guys who haven’t been circumcised but struggle in bed.

WebMD cited that uncircumcised men, on average, climax earlier than circumcised men.

It should be noted that there are conflicting reports about how effective circumcision is for premature ejaculation.

There are three different schools of thought so far:

Permanent Sensitivity Loss: Some studies would suggest removal of the foreskin results in permanent although slight desensitization of the penis. This is generally viewed as a sexual advantage as it would allow a man to last longer for their partner.

Temporary Ability to Last Longer: Other medical professionals suggest that any desensitization is a temporary effect of sensation changes in the penis. According to those in this camp, sensitivity eventually returns to normal, and no long-lasting advantage is achieved.

Makes No Difference: Some studies would suggest that circumcision or its absence makes no difference in how long it takes men to climax.

How to go about adult circumcision:

• Weigh the pros and cons
• Speak with your doctor if you're serious about adult circumcision
• Plan for recovery and be sure to schedule time off from work

16. Get a Bottle of St. John’s Wort

Could St. John’s wort help with premature ejaculation? One scientific study would suggest that this is a good possibility.

St. John’s wort is a highly common herbal supplement found at virtually any store with a vitamin section.

Those who’ve experienced any significant battle with depression and sought solutions likely have come across this supplement at some point.

St. John’s wort, thankfully, has little to do with a dead saint or warts. 

Yes, the name is more than a little unappealing to those considering the supplement for the first time. In reality, St. John’s wort is merely a flowering herbal plant. 

Most of the desired potency derived from the herb is found in its flowers. The flowers are used to make dietary capsules, teas, and liquid extracts.

How Does St. John’s Wort Help with Premature Ejaculation?

A variety of studies would collectively suggest that St. John’s wort can help with premature ejaculation both directly and indirectly. 

Potential Indirect Benefits

Because studies would imply that St. John’s wort could be useful to some for managing depression, it may indirectly help you with premature ejaculation.

If you struggle with depression, that can make your battle with ejaculatory dysfunction all the more challenging. 

If your symptoms include the underlying cause of depression, St. John’s wort might indirectly improve your situation as your depression improves.

The herb appears to have a positive effect on neurotransmitters like serotonin. 

Potential Direct Benefits

A study concluded that St. John’s wort “increased the duration of sexual intercourse before ejaculation for a man with and without complaints of PE. Sexual satisfaction improved for both the man and his partner after hyperforin use.”

Another study suggests that St. John’s wort “inhibits rat and human vas deferens contractility.” In other words, the supplement may directly help guys that experience premature ejaculation.

17. Visit a Doctor for Prescription Pills

Besides potential supplements like St. John’s wort, another possibility to consider is prescription pills. 

It’s generally advisable not to use prescription pills as a first or second choice because each prescription drug will come with a variety of potential side effects.

You and your physician will have to determine if the cure outweighs the downsides of the med you're trying.

If you’ve tried various techniques provided in this guide and still struggle to manage your premature ejaculation, it could be time to talk with your doctor.

How to Talk with Your Physician About Prescription Pills

If you’ll be seeing your physician for the first time regarding premature ejaculation, it’s understandable if you feel a little nervous or uncomfortable. 

Hint: If you'd rather not take a prescription, Promescent makes a premature ejaculation spray that can decrease sensitivity and help you last longer during sex.

You may worry that discussing your condition will be embarrassing or that your doctor won’t understand your struggle.

In light of that, here are some tips that should help when requesting a prescription medication for those experiencing premature ejaculation.

Make the Call: One of the most uncomfortable things about talking to your doctor could be setting up your initial appointment. Pushing past that discomfort by remembering the potential improvement in your sex life will be well worth it in the long run.

Bring Your Partner: If your partner can make your appointment, suggest that she comes along with you. This will help to ease your anxiety when speaking to your doctor. Your partner may be able to add valuable information you’ve forgotten too.

Share How You’ve Tried to Overcome Premature Ejaculation: Doctors are becoming increasingly wary about handing out medications. For this reason, your physician may want to know what other less invasive solutions you’ve tried. Your physician won’t want to subject you to unnecessary side effects.

Discuss Your Struggle: Next, be open about your struggles. Be completely honest about how difficult your condition has been. Discuss how you feel that it’s negatively impacted your relationship with your partner.

Try a Prescription: Based on the information you share with your doctor, they will likely prescribe one of several potential prescription drugs aimed at helping your symptoms.

Go to Your Follow-Up Appointments: Finally, be sure to take your follow-up appointments seriously. This is a great time to assess how the prescription is working. Because every guy’s body chemistry is a little different, it will likely take some trial and error to figure out the best medication and dosage for you.

18. Try to Distract Yourself

When attempting to last longer in bed, keep in mind that your mind plays a big role as well. 

Think back to the times when you became super aroused during sex. Inevitably, that arousal started with a sexually charged thought you had.

Try paying better attention to the brain’s role in helping you to build sexual interest to the point of climax.

Then, you’ll be more prepared to direct your thoughts in a way that either delays or speeds up orgasm.

How to Distract Your Thoughts to Help You Last in Bed

If you find yourself speeding up too fast, try thinking of something less overtly sexual or something that isn’t sexual at all.

That could be almost anything, although your overall experience will be more enjoyable if you think of something fun or relaxing, such as:

• Playing a round of golf
• Attending a baseball game (thinking of baseball is the old sexual distraction joke among guys)
• Fishing a pristine river
• Off-roading through the Canadian wilderness
• Hang gliding
• Swimming on a secluded tropical beach 

What do you do if none of these work? 

Maybe try thinking about unpaid bills, a big work project,imagine yourself in a traffic jam, or picture your mother-in-law ringing your doorbell.

Takeaways

Many of these improvement techniques are interconnected.

Doing well with one of them will likely carry over into other areas. 

For instance, talking about your performance in bed with your partner can help to decrease your performance anxiety and help your mental health overall.

Maybe changing up sex positions, using a premature ejaculation spray like Promescent, or visiting a sex therapist will be the solution.

The more you approach overcoming your premature ejaculation from different angles, the more you will succeed. 

It’s also likely that several of these techniques either won’t be your thing or something that works for you.

And that’s totally OK. 

The adventure is in figuring out what works best for you and your partner.

And it really can be an adventure. 

You’ll find out things about each other you otherwise never would’ve.

The end result can be an even stronger relationship because you had to work through your challenges together.

Related Articles:

• How Long Should Sex Last? What She Ultimately Wants
• Kivin Method: The Oral Sex Technique You Should Learn Now
• Boost Her Arousal: 12 Tips You Can Try Tonight
• 12 Irresistible Tips To Spice Up Your Sex Life
• A Man's Guide To Be Better In Bed: 10 Sex Tips