How Can My Boyfriend Last Longer in Bed?

Dr. Faysal Yafi
Board certified Urologist specializing in sexual health Dr. Faysal Yafi
Last updated 08/30/2023
Stopwatch for timing premature ejaculation occurring in under a minute

Question asked by


I recently started dating a new guy, and his performance is becoming a little worrisome. When we have sex, he usually lasts a minute or less except for if we've (or he) had a few drinks before or at dinner or if we go out with friends and drink socially.

I think I'm about average for how long it takes me to reach climax, about 10 minutes, but with his lasting issues, I've yet to have an orgasm with him.

My boyfriend lasts less than a minute during sex. What can make him last longer?

Lasting under one minute is a common theme in men who suffer from what is called lifelong premature ejaculation.

Depression, anxiety, and turbulent relationships are real consequences for these men who don't last longer than one minute during penetrative sex or who orgasm even before penetration.

Even in cases where a partner doesn't mind, the effect of early ejaculation on one’s own mental health can be pretty devastating and make them want to avoid sex.

Fortunately, it can be treated fairly easily.

Here are a few things your boyfriend can try to last longer in bed.

Desensitizing Sprays or Wipes

Delay wipes and sprays are highly effective and are easy to use.

Men who use delay sprays and wipes often report going from under 1 minute before ejaculation to over 3 minutes, in some cases even longer.

They can easily be bought online without a prescription.

Moreover, a desensitizing product like Promescent, will have little to no transference to the user’s partner and won’t cause total loss of sensitivity, leaving both people feeling positive about the experience.

Edging Technique

Edging, commonly referred to as the start-stop technique, can be used to help men last longer. It takes a bit of time and a lot of self control to master.

Start by engaging in intercourse as you normally would and once you get close to the ‘point of no return’ stop all sensory activities. Wait until your ejaculatory response subsides before starting again.

You can do this as many times as you would like during intimacy and over time you’ll have a better understanding of when you’ll need to slow things down to prolong intercourse.

Learn more: Edging Technique For Premature Ejaculation: 5 Simple Steps

Squeeze Technique

The squeeze technique involves the man or his partner firmly squeezing the frenulum (just under the head of the penis) for 10-15 seconds to prevent the ejaculate from exiting the body.

If the man passes the ‘point of no return’, it may be too late, so this technique does require a lot of practice.

The benefit of the squeeze technique is that it can be practiced with a partner or alone until mastered.

Learn more: The Squeeze Technique: Step By Step Guide (With Images)

Kegel Exercises

Some studies suggest that building your pelvic floor muscles may assist in prolonging the time to orgasm for men.

You can find these muscles by stopping urination midstream.

Once you have located these muscles squeeze for 5 seconds, release slowly, and repeat this 10 times.

Complete 3 kegel sets daily for at least 1 month before comparing your baseline ejaculation time to your new ejaculation time.

Learn more: Kegel Exercises For Men To Last Longer: Step By Step Guide

Trying New Sex Positions

Some sex positions intuitively reduce penile sensation by restricting the thrusting motion. A few sex positions you can try are:

  • Women on top – cowgirl
  • Spooning
  • Side by side
  • The yab-yum

Learn more: Top 12 Sex Positions To Help You Last Longer (With Images)

See a Urologist

It’s never a bad idea to see a Urologist to rule out an underlying condition that could be causing premature ejaculation.

Some Urologists may recommend Promescent or suggest an SSRI (antidepressant). Antidepressants have been shown to improve interejaculatory latency times in clinical studies. However, there is a possibility of side effects, including:

  • Nausea or dizziness
  • insomnia
  • Dry mouth, headache, or diarrhea
  • Sexual dysfunctions and loss of libido or desire

If your boyfriend is not lasting long enough in bed to please your sexual needs there are plenty of things that can be done to improve his performance.

The Content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition

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