Tips and techniques to help to manage premature ejaculation.
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Struggling with staying power in the bedroom is more common than most men realize. Whether it’s occasional or persistent, feeling like things end too quickly can take a toll on confidence, intimacy, and overall satisfaction. The good news? Ejaculation control is something you can actively improve—with the right knowledge, tools, and techniques.
In this article, we’ll explore what affects ejaculation timing, how to gain better control, and the practical steps men can take to perform with greater confidence.
Ejaculation control refers to a man’s ability to delay orgasm and ejaculation during sexual activity. It’s not just about lasting longer; it’s about aligning your climax with your partner’s desires and your own expectations.
While there’s no “perfect” duration for sex, studies suggest the average time from penetration to ejaculation is about 5 to 7 minutes. But for many men, especially those dealing with premature ejaculation (PE), lasting even that long can be a challenge. PE is typically defined as ejaculating within one minute of penetration or being unable to delay ejaculation consistently. This can leave men feeling frustrated, embarrassed, and disconnected from their partner.
If you find that climax often happens quickly—before you or your partner feel fully satisfied—you’re not alone. PE affects up to 1 in 3 men at some point in their lives. Learning to manage and extend this time can boost satisfaction for both partners and reduce performance anxiety.
Several factors—both physical and psychological—can impact ejaculation timing. Often, it’s a mix of influences rather than a single cause:
Understanding the root cause is the first step in addressing it. If PE is persistent and distressing, talking with a healthcare provider or therapist can help uncover the underlying contributors and offer targeted treatment.
Managing when you climax isn’t just about willpower—it’s about training your body, shifting your mindset, and using the right tools. Here are expert-backed methods that can help improve your stamina and confidence during sex:
One of the easiest and most effective ways to improve control is by reducing overstimulation. Topical products like Promescent delay spray or desensitizing wipes deliver a mild numbing effect using lidocaine or benzocaine. These products help reduce sensitivity in just the right places—typically the head of the penis—so you can last longer without dulling overall pleasure.
These tools are especially helpful if sensitivity is a primary trigger for early ejaculation.
This is a simple and time-tested method. When you feel close to climax, pause all stimulation. Wait for the urge to subside, then resume. Practicing this technique during solo sessions or with a partner builds awareness and control over time.
To enhance this practice, some men use a delay spray during the early stages of training to give themselves more time to work through the arousal curve.
Strong pelvic floor muscles can help you better control the ejaculatory reflex. These exercises target the same muscles you use to stop urination midstream.
When paired with desensitizing products, Kegels become part of a holistic control strategy.
Anxiety and tension accelerate ejaculation. Practicing deep breathing and staying mentally grounded can reduce this internal pressure. Try slowing your breath when arousal builds, focusing on exhaling longer than you inhale.
Adding a delay product can take the mental pressure off, helping you stay present instead of preoccupied.
If you already use condoms, consider ones that include a mild numbing agent inside. These combine barrier protection with performance support—though sprays and wipes offer more control over where and how much desensitizing agent you apply.
Some sex positions may help both you and your partner extend pleasure, as some positions are more stimulating than others. Here are some positions to try:
Check out this article for more information on sex positions to help extend pleasure.
Ejaculation control isn’t just about what happens in the bedroom. Overall wellness plays a big role:
Practicing open communication with your partner also relieves pressure and creates a more relaxed environment for experimentation.
If premature ejaculation is frequent and distressing, it might be time to explore clinical solutions. Options include:
Always consult a healthcare provider before starting any treatment. Personalized guidance ensures safe and effective results.
Sexual performance is about connection as much as endurance. Here’s how to foster both:
Partners are often more understanding than men expect. Being vulnerable can actually deepen trust and enhance satisfaction.
What is ejaculation control and why is it important?
Ejaculation control is the ability to delay orgasm and ejaculation during sexual activity. It’s not just about lasting longer—but aligning climax with your own needs and your partner’s, enhancing intimacy and satisfaction.
What causes premature ejaculation (PE)?
Common factors include anxiety or stress, hypersensitivity, low serotonin levels, hormonal imbalances, lack of experience or confidence, relationship dynamics, and erectile dysfunction. Often, it’s a blend of physical and psychological influences.
How does delay spray or wipe help with control?
Delay sprays or wipes use mild anesthetics like lidocaine or benzocaine to reduce penile sensitivity in targeted areas, helping you last longer without numbing total sensation.
What’s the Start–Stop technique?
It’s a method where stimulation is paused when nearing climax until the urge subsides, then resumed. Practicing this builds awareness and extends control over time.
Can Kegel exercises really make a difference?
Yes—strengthening pelvic floor muscles through Kegels enhances your ability to manage the ejaculatory reflex, boosting control when used consistently (e.g., 3 sets of 10 reps daily).
How can mindfulness and breathing help?
Anxiety and tension often speed climax. Deep breathing and staying mentally grounded help reduce internal pressure. Using a delay product during practice can ease the mental strain.
Do desensitizing condoms help?
Yes—some condoms incorporate mild numbing lubricants. They offer discreet support but offer less precise control compared to sprays or wipes.
Which positions support better control?
Positions that moderate stimulation—like spooning, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, and side‑by‑side (modified missionary)—can help you manage arousal more comfortably.
Can lifestyle habits improve ejaculation control?
Absolutely—regular exercise, balanced nutrition, quality sleep, limiting alcohol and smoking, and stress management all support better sexual function and control.
When should medical help be considered?
If PE is frequent, distressing, or affecting your well‑being, consult a healthcare provider. Options include prescription SSRIs, topical anesthetics like Promescent, or therapy to address psychological or relationship factors.
Improving ejaculation control takes time, but every step counts. Whether you're practicing start-stop techniques, using Promescent to boost confidence, or simply focusing on relaxation, you're making real progress.
Remember, many men experience similar challenges—and with the right support, they overcome them. Performance isn’t about perfection. It’s about connection, communication, and enjoying the journey together.
You’ve got options, and you’re not alone.
Mark Goldberg, LCMFT, CST, is a certified sex therapist and founder of the Erectile Dysfunction Radio Podcast and eiqmen.com, resources that educate and empower men to overcome sexual dysfunction, build confidence, and enhance relationship satisfaction. He provides therapy to help individuals better understand and express their emotions, manage depression and anxiety, and improve their relationships. Through his practice, the Center for Intimacy, Connection, and Change, Mark is passionate about helping couples navigate challenges and create meaningful, lasting change.
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