To thrive, a good relationship can need many things…communication, trust, variety, fun, and, yes, an exciting sex life. A 2012 survey of 909 women asked about the amount of ideal time they preferred for various activities during a 16-hour day. At the top of the list? Sexual Intimacy, at 106 minutes – that’s a whopping 26 percent more time than the number two activity – Socializing.
The question then is: just how important is sex to women?
According to recent studies…very. In fact, in a poll by Cosmopolitan magazine, 80 percent of women said they would like their man to last longer in bed. That means 80 percent of women wish their partners had better sexual stamina. Does your partner wish you could last longer?
Cosmopolitan magazine polled over 2,500 women and asked them what their ideal love-making time was (meaning, how long did they want sex to last). They asked specifically about the length of the actual intercourse, which is typically defined as the time after arousal, from initial penetration to completion (when the man ejaculates).
Here are just some of the results:
With the average man taking just over five minutes to reach ejaculation, women clearly want men to know how to last longer during sex – on average, it appears they’d love them to last about three times longer!
And it’s not just women who want longer-lasting love-making. A 2007 survey by Fox News health contributor Keith Ablow found that an astounding 80 percent of both men and women reported they want sex to last a half an hour. There is no doubt about it – sexual performance is on a lot of minds…
In a survey of 30,000 men, Cosmo asked the following question:
What is the ideal time for a longer sack session?
Assuming a "sack session" includes foreplay, men on average expect a sexual encounter to last roughly 35-40 minutes.
Just about every man, regardless of size, race, or relationship status (or even frequency of sex they’re having), wants to last longer in bed. Longer-lasting sex typically stems from ejaculatory reflex control, and results in multiple orgasms and generally more sexual satisfaction for both partners.
But…how do can you achieve this?
Based on more scientific polls that have researched how long men actually last before ejaculation (5-7 minutes), the reported 35-40-minute sack session time may seem unlikely or unrealistic. Most women would agree that, even when men’s health is at its best, most just aren't spending an average of 30 minutes on foreplay!
Perhaps the most important result of the survey is that it ultimately shows that what men seem to want most, is to simply have the control to last longer in bed when they desire it.
Sexual intercourse is vastly different for men and women for many reasons. For men, it is literally the actual intercourse that generates a strong erection through blood flow to the penis, creating stimulation that results in climax (when compared to other sexual activity). It is simply the motion involved during intercourse that brings men to orgasm the fastest.
For women, the experience is much different. Due to basic anatomy, women receive only a small amount of clitoral stimulation through intercourse, so it’s not uncommon for them to desire (or even need) fast and deep thrusting in order to reach a point of climax. Many times, this fast and deep thrust can be too much for men. A rapid increase in penile stimulation from intercourse can bring most men to orgasm in just a few minutes. There is a definite conflict that can arise between what women need to feel sexually satisfied, and how long it takes for a man to be brought to orgasm.
Fortunately, there are several techniques that all men can easily utilize to help them slow down the process and extend the time from penetration to ejaculation. From foreplay, to the stop-start method, to what position you use, to where you put pressure on your penis during penetration, to over the counter desensitizing sprays, longer-lasting lovemaking is within reach.
But before we get to what does work, let’s quickly discuss what doesn’t work. Essentially, we’re talking about anything related to thinking or not thinking.
So-called “experts” have promoted everything from what’s known as the “distraction” method, to taking deep breaths, to working out your pelvic muscles (also known as the PC muscle or the pubococcygeus muscle – yes, even men can strengthen these pelvic floor muscles by doing Kegel exercises).
And the truth is, most men are willing to try anything, even attempting to strengthen their ejaculatory muscles, to lengthen the time it takes them to reach orgasm. But the simple fact is, a man most often can’t just focus on breathing deeply or “thinking” about something to make a sexual experience last longer…it just doesn’t work that way. Who wants to have sex while thinking about something else, anyway? What DOES work are PHYSICAL methods.
We’ve discovered a few favorite methods for lasting longer in bed. We researched all the various physical methods and discussed them with top sex therapists and urologists. And don’t worry if you’re not interested in, or leery of, taking pills to lengthen your time to climax – we’ve found several ways you can improve your lasting time without having to rely on a pill.
So, what are our favorite ways to extend your love-making time?
Masturbate the same day you plan to have sex. Have you ever had sex for a second time within minutes or hours after having intercourse earlier that same day? You probably noticed how much longer it takes to reach orgasm the second time. Masturbating has a similar effect. After ejaculation, your body needs time to recover. This is called the refractory period, and it extends beyond just being able to achieve a second erection and being able to have sex again. This recovery time also lengthens your time to ejaculation the second time around.
A slow build-up of stimulation will allow you to last longer. And that starts with foreplay. By starting with various forms of foreplay, you allow your penis to adapt to a slow increase in stimulation, so when it’s time for intercourse, your penis is going from 45 to 60, not from zero to 60.
Start-Stop Method: Also referred to as the stop-start technique, most men know this one without having to read about it.
It’s simple, really…you get close to having an orgasm and you stop to recover. The mistake that most men make, however, is that they wait until they’re almost to ejaculation (often referred to as “the point of no return”) before stopping intercourse. The problem with this is that the closer you are to orgasm when you stop, the less stimulation you’ll need upon starting again before you orgasm. So, the key is to stop and start in a planned way. You’ll probably find that, with each start/stop cycle, you’ll spend less time in the “stop” period and more time in the “start” period.
Squeeze Technique: From a pleasure point of view, this is our least favorite. However, for many men, it is very effective. And it’s exactly as the name implies. As you get closer to orgasm, have your partner squeeze your penis along the shaft until your desire to ejaculate goes away.
Certain sexual positions can help men delay orgasm. Try positions that either reduce penetration depth or apply more pressure on the top side of the penis. Full penetration maximizes stimulation, while stimulation to the underside, especially the frenulum (the small band of tissue connecting the foreskin), typically drives men to ejaculation faster.
What works? Some basic positions that can help you last longer, without needing the flexibility of a partner who’s a gymnast, include:
Desensitizing sprays and desensitizing gel have proven to be effective. As an added bonus, unlike some pills, sprays have minimal side effects. Look for high quality products that have an absorption formula that enables you to maintain great sensation while mostly eliminating transference to your partner.
Any spray on the market can simply numb you. But with Promescent, you get a gentle, targeted desensitizing result, giving you great control with minimal loss of sexual feeling and transference to your partner.
Using several of our favorite techniques, you can learn how to last longer in bed, for men who suffer from premature ejaculation (PE) – like the millions of men around the world, now you can last longer too. Don’t let your fear of overcoming PE become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Selective Serotonin Re-uptake Inhibitors (SSRIs) are a type of drug sometimes prescribed for premature ejaculation. While primarily intended as antidepressants, SSRIs have been shown to delay ejaculation in most men. However, they have a long list of side effects which include: drowsiness, dizziness, nausea, decreased libido, and erectile dysfunction. And don’t forget, this course of treatment is often a daily dosage. Do you really want to be taking a pill every day?
There's only one last-longer pill on the market that is actually shown to work to treat PE – Priligy (also known as Dapoxetine). But despite its efficacy, this drug has numerous disadvantages vs. a more commonly used last-longer spray. While Priligy is a fast-acting SSRI that is used “on-demand” (taken 1-3 hours before intercourse, whereas SSRIs may be taken daily), it’s important to understand that Priligy is not suitable for every man. It’s known to interact with other types of medications, and men with certain health conditions (including kidney, liver, and heart conditions) should not use it.
Aside from Priligy, none of the other last-longer pills (often called stamina pills) have been shown to work in anything even remotely close to a clinical study. If you’re considering taking a pill to treat your PE, be sure to look at all the medical data and studies (e.g. search the FDA website for tainted sexual enhancement products) and talk to your physician.
Sometimes people talk about just lasting longer, but most men who experience PE will tell you – it's about more than just ejaculatory control – it’s about having the freedom to enjoy any variation of sex without fear of it ending due to premature ejaculation before they or their partner are ready. Couples want to explore new ways to give one another pleasure. This can include different positions, oral sex, manual sex, or maybe even the use of sex toys.
For both partners to be satisfied after sex, the experience needs to last long enough so both can climax. Sadly, this isn’t always the case. While men take five minutes to orgasm,1 women take much longer. In fact, it’s estimated that men nearly always orgasm during intercourse, while only 30 percent of women do.2 This difference is known as the Orgasm Gap. Thankfully, Promescent is designed to give you more orgasm control to help close the O Gap and last longer during sex.
Promescent delays ejaculation, so sex can last up to 64 percent longer.3 It also gives men greater control without loss of feeling, allowing you to become more adventurous in bed. So if you’re one of the many men who wish they would last longer in bed, Promescent is for you.
But just lasting longer is only part of it. Longer sex can lead to increased intimacy, improved communication, and a healthier relationship with stronger emotional bonds. And what man wouldn’t want that?
Are you ready to last-longer in bed? Find out where to buy Promescent here. Can’t wait for shipping? Target carries the Promescent travel size, or you can use our Store Locator to find Promescent at other retailers near you.