Oral Sex Techniques for Men & Women: Best Oral Sex Positions

Lexi Sylver
Erotica author and sexpert guiding you to shamelessly explore your sexuality
by Lexi Sylver Last updated 12/01/2023
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The studies confirm it — a high percentage of adults (85.4% of men and 83.2% of women) participate in oral sex.

While considered mostly taboo to talk about before the 1970s, rest assured, oral sex has deep roots in history.

High percentages of adults participate in oral sex

Whether you're looking to please your lady or want to show your man a good time, brushing up on oral sex techniques is only going to make you a better lover.

Both newbies headed downtown for the first time and seasoned oral sex pros have room to learn.

Hint: Don't be afraid to bring toys or enhancers into the room either. Check out Promescent's full line of products to boost bedroom performance today.

Oral sex can be an important part of foreplay — or a fulfilling sex act anytime — and it should be fun for everyone involved.

So here's a breakdown of the best oral techniques, oral positions to try, and more tips to help you put your skills where your mouth is.

Why Oral Sex and Foreplay Are Important

Most people don't just jump right into penetrative sex.

Your body needs to warm up, the blood needs to fill your sexual nerve endings, and your mind needs to relax to get your body to unwind and accept pleasure.

Oral sex can be an invaluable tool to make all of those things happen and help you improve your sexual experience.

Why is oral sex and foreplay such a key part of a healthy sexual relationship?

  • Oral sex is key to showing your partner that you care about their pleasure
  • It helps increase the intimacy and closeness between you

The receivers open and vulnerable to their partner; the giver is focusing only on their partner's sexual pleasure they can prolong the length of the whole sexual experience.

While intercourse may last just a few minutes for most, oral sex can be a more controlled and focused way to please your partner.

Oral sex can help close the arousal gap

About 85 percent of men reach orgasm during sex while only 63 percent of women do, so oral sex can help close that gap.

Plus, guys who have issues with premature ejaculation can use the best oral techniques for women to bring a female partner closer to orgasm and makes sure she feels fully satisfied after their encounter.

Studies show that 85.4% of men engage in oral sex.

Studies show that 83.2% of women engage in oral sex.

About 85 percent of men reach orgasm during sex while only 63 percent of women do, so oral sex can help close the arousal gap.

Grapefruiting as it is commonly known, is the act of giving a blow job with the aid of a hollowed out grapefruit that you run up and down the shaft while sucking on the head.

The Best Oral Sex Positions

Pretty much all sexual positions involving penetration can translate into oral positions that can be just as enjoyable.

Oral sex — especially when you’re an extra enthusiastic giver like I am — can generate some tricky neck angles, and make it hard to focus on pleasure delivery.

Here are a few ideas for oral sex positions for both male and female partners.

Oral Sex Positions for Men

Performing oral sex when your partner has a penis can seem relatively straightforward.

His protruding genitalia makes it easy to come up with all kinds of interesting oral sex positions for him.

Oral sex positions for men

1. Go for Basic with a Lie-Down Position

While he's positioned on his back, access his manhood with your mouth by:

  • Going after his penis from the side, so that your body is almost perpendicular to his
  • Kneel, crouch in front of him, or lie on your belly between his spread legs
  • Lie on your stomach or kneel alongside to his body, almost in a 69 position, but with your body beside his rather than on top, with your chest resting on his lower abdomen

2. Give Him Control with an Open Mouth at the Bedside

Lay on your back on the bed with your head at the very edge of the mattress, while he stands and controls the movements.

This position can be achieved with the giver either face-up or face-down, both of which have their perks.

3. Grab a Chair for Double the Oral Position Fun

A chair is a creative oral sex accessory when it comes to pleasing him.

Either have him take a seat while you kneel on the floor in front of him (grab a cushion for your knees to get extra comfortable) or you have a seat while he positions himself in front of your face.

Oral Sex Positions for Women

Women don't necessarily have protruding genitalia which can make giving her pleasurable oral sex a bit more of a challenge.

Try these oral sex positions on her to decide what works best for you and your partner.

Oral sex for women

1. Lie Back with a Pillow Prop

Simply put, she's on her back with a pillow (or two) under her butt.

This position raises her hips comfortably so you can savor her with your mouth, all without having to hold your neck at an awkward angle.

This also helps you maintain your position for longer without needing to readjust.

2. Let Her Be in Control On Top

For this fun oral sex position, lie on your back face up and have her straddle your mouth.

She's going to be in charge of most of the movement as she rides your face and gets to decide exactly where on her vulva she wants your lips and tongue, including the speed and pressure she prefers.

3. Kneel Down on Her

Who said you needed a bed to give her pleasure?

Try having her stand against a wall facing you or the wall. You can then kneel down and begin several oral sex techniques.

This position should allow you both to feel a different sensation as you’ll be in an uncommon position for oral play.

5 Oral Sex Techniques to WOW Your Female Partner

Wowing your female with oral pleasure can seem intimidating, but with a few good pointers, she's going to have a toe-curling, sheet-grabbing experience every time you go down on her.

Here are some tips to drive her wild while pleasing her with your mouth.

1. The clitoris marks the spot.

Sexual demonstration with fruit

Contrary to popular belief, it’s not hard to find a woman’s clitoris.

At the top front of her vulva, where her vaginal lips meet, you can find the clitoral hood, under which her clit is located.

As she becomes more aroused, her clit will become more engorged with blood and will start to poke out more from under the hood, making it easier to stimulate her in this way.

Some women have larger or more protruding clits than others, so you might have to do a bit more work to tease her clit out from under the hood.

The clitoris has an astounding 15,000 nerve-endings, making it one of the most sensitive parts of a woman’s body.

Most women cannot orgasm without clitoral stimulation; many women cannot orgasm solely from penetration, so clitoral stimulation is likely necessary for her to climax.

One of the best oral sex pointers to keep in mind when pleasing a woman is to focus on her clit, but do so slowly, gradually increasing in tempo and pressure, and back off occasionally to make her want more.

Don't just dive in with your tongue full-force; it can be too much too soon, especially if she's not already fully aroused.

Start slowly and build up her pleasure.

Take your time to tease the areas around her clitoris first with your tongue and mouth. Circle her clit before diving in with your tongue.

Her inner and outer labia have many nerve endings as well, so don’t forget to pay attention to those areas, too.

2. Use more than just the tip of your tongue

While your tongue can give you precision aim wherever you're trying to stimulate her, don't flick and poke with the tip of your tongue. It can be far more pleasurable for her if you're putting your whole mouth to work.

  • Do a little gentle sucking on her clit with your lips.
  • Do a little light nibbling and stroking of her clit and vulva with your lips.
  • Use your tongue to stroke up and down on her clitoris.
  • Do some slow, whole-tongue licking of her vulva and clit like you're eating an ice cream cone.

3. Pair oral sex with penetration for even more pleasure

Your main focus during oral sex with a woman may be to tease her external parts like her clitoris and vaginal lips, but some simultaneous penetrating action can be really enjoyable for her, too.

Once you’ve warmed her up with clitoral stimulation, you can try sliding one finger into her vagina to start, and see how she feels with this kind of penetration.

Note: always make sure your fingernails are trimmed so you don’t scratch or hurt her during play.

Keep licking and stimulating her clitoris while your finger slowly moves inside her vagina.

If she’s enjoying the penetration, you can try adding another finger inside her. A vibrator or sex toy can also be used for penetration with the added bonus of vibrations.

Incorporate penetration wit oral sex for a new level of pleasure

The best position for your fingers or sex toy for this type of dual stimulation would be to make sure you’re rubbing towards the front wall of her vagina to stimulate her G-spot (so called for the legendary Dr. Ernst Gräfenberg), which is the fleshy mound approximately 2 to 3 inches into her vagina.

Try not to apply too much pressure here, but focus your attention on the frontal wall of her vagina during penetration to give her the most pleasure.

Dual stimulation of both her internal and external parts can give her a heightened orgasmic experience, and with practice and timing, could result in giving her a blended orgasm (simultaneous clitoral and G-Spot orgasms).

4. Keep consistent when you think she's close to climaxing

Paying attention to her body language during oral sex is key in uncovering what movements and touches she is most responsive to.

Every woman’s body is different, but signs to look for include when she’s raising her hips towards your mouth, tensing her legs, curling her toes or fingers, and when her breathing or moaning comes faster or more heavily.

When she responds to whatever it is you may be doing with your mouth, you are going to be tempted to go faster and apply more pressure, but refrain from doing so too quickly.

Going too hard and too fast when she is close to the edge can actually either inhibit her from orgasming at all or deliver her an unfulfilling orgasm caused by overstimulation.

You don't want either, so stick with the movements and pressure that she’s enjoying, and gradually, carefully, increase your intensity according to how she is responding.

5. Communicate, ask questions

Don't be afraid to talk to her while you give her oral pleasure.

Tell her how good she tastes, smells and feels. Ask her what she likes when you try a new movement with your mouth or tongue:

  • Do you like it when I do this?
  • How does this feel?
  • Do you want more of this?
  • Do you want me to try something else?

Communicating throughout the sexual experience, especially as you’re discovering a new lover’s body, can be incredibly arousing and pleasurable for both of you, and will help you learn about her body and what she likes in the process.

5 Oral Sex Techniques to WOW Your Male Partner

Men’s genitals are more complex than they get credit for, even though his parts are nowhere near as complicated to stimulate as a female's.

Pleasing a man with the best oral sex techniques is all about knowing what areas deserve the most attention.

Check out these oral sex tips for him.

How to satisfy a man with oral sex

1. Do some teasing with your tongue first

If he's not quite fully aroused or even if you just want to get things off to a slow start, start by teasing him with the tip of your wet tongue.

  • Glide and flick your tongue along the length of his shaft, around his frenulum, or even his scrotum.
  • Slowly trace your fully opened tongue up to his head and then circle it with your tongue.
  • Slow and steady teasing builds anticipation for what's to come, which can be really exciting for him.

2. Keep your hands involved

Sexual demonstration with a banana

Using your hands and fingers to stroke, fondle, and squeeze while using your mouth is ever-important when it comes to oral sex for men.

  • Wrap your hand around his shaft and stroke up and down while you lick and suck his head or upper part of his shaft and head.
  • Use your hand to swirl his shaft so his head moves against the roof of your mouth and your tongue.
  • Squeeze and stroke his head while teasing his shaft with your mouth.

Your hands, especially when well-lubed, can be an extension of your mouth and increase the pleasure your mouth is delivering.

3. Give his testicles and scrotum some attention

Testicle and scrotum play are an important part of oral sex for men, but it’s common to disregard this fact.

Even though the scrotum and testicles are not filled with as many nerve endings as his penis, playing with them can encourage blood circulation to his genitals and help with ejaculate production.

Not to mention, he's going to enjoy it as you build up his pleasure.

The BIGGEST Rules of Scrotum and Testicle Play

  • Be gentle, whether fondling, squeezing, or sucking. Tread lightly so you don't cause him unintended pain.
  • Do what he likes. Some guys enjoy this play during oral sex more than others. If you're unsure, ask him first.
  • Take off clunky rings, be careful with fingernails, and watch your teeth, as these could cut or hurt this delicate skin and tissue.

If you're new to orally pleasuring his testicles, do some gentle tongue flicking and lapping, and maybe some ever-gentle kissing and sucking.

4. Increase pace and intensity as he gets closer to climax

When you recognize that he is getting close to climax, if you want him to actually get to that point, gradually build up intensity and pace with whatever it is you're doing that’s giving him pleasure.

For example, if you're sucking and stroking, do so with a little more pressure and a little faster. But build him up slowly.

A key here is to hold your rhythm.

Don't change your action too drastically unless you're trying to steer him away from orgasming right then (e.g. switching from sucking and stroking to flicking your tongue along his shaft).

5. Talk to him

Seductive woman ready for oral sex

Ask what men want with oral sex, and you'll get a lot of answers.

But there's one thing that you can pretty much count on: he's going to enjoy your verbal input.

Whether you're asking him what he likes or telling him what you're doing when you're doing it and how much you’re enjoying yourself, he's going to be thrilled with your comments.

And of course, talking dirty during any kind of sexual play doesn’t hurt, either.

Plus, talking during oral sex and foreplay helps you get familiar with what he likes the most.


Oral sex can be like the opening act that sets the stage for the overall sexual performance. It also doesn't even have to be a precursor for intercourse — it's a lot of fun to give and receive for both parties involved. Remember:

  • Communicate. Ask questions. Verbalize.
  • Check your inhibitions at the door — oral sex is up-close and personal.
  • Keep your hands involved.
  • All oral sex receivers can have individualized preferences.
  • Start slow to build anticipation.
  • Familiarize yourself with your partner’s body.
  • Have fun!

While it sounds like it would be easy to get things wrong, oral sex is not rocket science.

With a little guidance, open communication with your partner, and maybe even a little trial and error, oral sex changes everything... for the better!

    Lexi Sylver

    Lexi Sylver

    Lexi Sylver is the Montreal-based erotica author of "Mating Season" and "All the Queen’s Men". She is also the producer and host of "Cocktails and Erotic Tales" as well as her "Swinging 101" webinar series. As an entrepreneur, advocate, educator, podcaster, public speaker and coach for ethical non-monogamy and sexual empowerment, she regularly contributes articles about sexuality and relationships to ASN Lifestyle Magazine, SDC.com and her personal blog, among other places. Her mission is to promote empowerment and education by guiding you to shamelessly explore your sexuality. Get Lexual at lexisylver.com


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    • Gypsyamber D’Souza, Kevin Cullen, Janice Bowie, Roland Thorpe, and Carole Fakhry. 2014 January 24. Differences in Oral Sexual Behaviors by Gender, Age, and Race Explain Observed Differences in Prevalence of Oral Human Papillomavirus Infection. National Center for Biotechnology Information (NCBI). https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3901667/. Accessed 27 Jan 2022.
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    • Rachel N Pauls. 2015 April. Anatomy of the clitoris and the female sexual response. National Library of Medicine (pubmed). https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/25727497/. Accessed 27 jan 2022.
    The Content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.

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