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Pegging 101: How Do You, Why Would You, and Should You?

Zachary Zane
Columnist, sex expert, and activist whose work focuses on sexuality, lifestyle, culture, and the LGBTQ community

by Zachary Zane 9 min read

Harness with dildo for pegging

Once barely spoken of aloud, pegging has worked its way into the vocabulary of most sex-having males and females thanks to mentions on some pretty mainstream TV shows. (Broad City, anyone?)

However, whether you're a man with some curiosities about prostate stimulation or a woman who fantasizes about bending over your guy, you probably have some questions.

So, what does pegging mean, does pegging feel good, and do women actually like to be the pegger?

We've pulled together this clear-cut guide so you don't peg pegging as something you're not into.

Quick FAQs

No, all men have the same anatomical structures in their anus and all men have the potential to find stimulation of those structures pleasurable. Sexuality has nothing to do with this scientific fact.

While not all women are the same in a recent study the majority of women surveyed did find pegging pleasurable.

A guy not accustomed to anal penetration may have a little discomfort initially, but going slow, using ample lube, and allowing time to relax can ease those sensations.

When done properly, with safety in mind and by using a dildo within a reasonable size, pegging is not likely going to cause any harm to the receiver.

What is pegging?

The modern, evolved definition of pegging is using a strap-on dildo to penetrate a partner anally regardless of what gender is giving or receiving.

However, the term "pegging" was actually coined over two decades ago by Dan Savage, a well-known sex and relationship columnist. At that time, pegging was used in reference to a woman pegging her male partner.

For the sake of clarity, we will be discussing pegging here as coined by Savage years ago: female giver/male receiver.

Why should I try pegging?

Why not may be the better question for those who consider themselves open to sexual exploration.

Not only does pegging feel euphoric for the parties involved, it can also be psychologically arousing.

Men

Why men should try pegging

Many men are hesitant to try pegging, but you absolutely need to give it a try.

There are a number of reasons—both physical and psychological—that make pegging so damn pleasurable.

  • Prostate stimulation: The prostate is a nerve-ridden pleasure zone, and all penis carriers have one that is accessible during anal penetration.

  • Miking: Men can experience a prostate orgasm with rhythmic stimulation—an action commonly referred to as prostate milking. This can feel absolutely incredible for some.

  • Flipped script: Men don't often get to slip into more submissive roles—getting pegged can do that with the right energy or position, and it can be exciting to be dominated by a female partner. That said, pegging doesn’t have to be all rough and tough. You can actually have a very loving and sensual experience getting pegged by your partner, too.

Women

Why women should try pegging

Women can have just as much fun pegging their partner. In fact, they may even like it more. Here’s why:

  • Clitoral stimulation: When wearing a strap-on, the base can be quite stimulating—almost like dry humping

  • Specialized pleasure toys: Dildos designed for pegging can have all kinds of special perks for the giver, such as a dildo-base-mounted vibrating wand

  • Role reversal: Often, the person with the penis becomes the dominant party when having sex; pegging allows a woman to dominate the situation and control pleasure delivery

Do women actually like pegging?

Couple talking about pegging in a cafe

Some women do find pegging their man enjoyable—in fact, more women than most men would ever anticipate. In a recent article in Men's Health (written by yours truly), more than a dozen women shared why they love pegging their man.

They said the encounter with their partner was:

  • Exhilarating
  • Highly intimate
  • Incredibly positive
  • A sexual confidence booster
  • Capable of making them feel in control

Some women even claimed they had some of the most amazing orgasms ever while pegging their significant other.

A few mentioned wearing the strap-on made them feel more dominant and sexually confident.

Overall, the majority of the women found pegging to be not just enjoyable, but quite exciting and satisfying.

Common myths about pegging

Before trying pegging, or even before discussing the idea with your partner, let’s go over the myths and facts, so you don't step into the act with false impressions or unfair assumptions.

1. A guy who likes pegging is gay

Couple embracing in sideways 69 postion

Is pegging gay? Absolutely not.

All men have the same anatomical structures in their anus and all men have the potential to find stimulation of those structures pleasurable.

Sexuality has nothing to do with this scientific fact.

No man should feel self-conscious about the fact that pegging sounds intriguing or enjoyable.

Similarly, no partner should find a reason for concern if their man wants to get pegged.

On the same note, a woman who likes to peg her male partner is not a lesbian—another common myth.

2. Pegging is painful for the recipient

Fruit that resembles the buttocks

A guy not accustomed to anal penetration may have a little discomfort initially, but going slow, using a silicone lube, and allowing time to relax can ease those sensations.

This is why a giver should know a bit about how to peg a guy before getting started.

When done properly, pegging should never cause major pain.

3. Pegging causes damage

The rectum and anal canal are perfectly capable of stretching to accommodate a dildo.

Therefore, when done properly, with safety in mind and by using a dildo within a reasonable size, pegging is not likely going to cause any harm to the receiver.

Pro Tip: To help things go as smoothly as possible check out all of the Promescent personal lubricants.

4. Pegging will make a man poop

Highly unlikely.

Pegging is not going to reach in there and shake something loose.

What people don’t realize is that feces isn’t stored in your rectum; it stays in the colon until a person deliberately tries to push it out.

While there is always a chance of fecal matter (which requires some precautions), the idea of pegging causing a man to openly excrete is highly unlikely.

How to have the pegging talk

Pegging can be a bit more taboo than other forms of bedroom play.

Showing up in the bedroom with a strap on or handing over a dildo to your partner in the heat of it all is probably not going to necessarily fly so smoothly.

How to talk about pegging

You DO want to bring up the idea and discuss it in advance.

When it comes to bringing up new, possibly taboo ideas to your partner, try the following formula:

  1. Offer the idea
  2. Explain why the idea sounds interesting
  3. Ask questions and encourage them to ask questions

Maybe you could tell your partner you stumbled upon the idea, think it sounds fun to explore, and ask your significant other if they are intrigued by the idea.

You could even let your partner know you enjoy a little anal play during sex, and then ask if they mind going there with you.

Pegging is one of those bedroom things that you may never know if your partner is into it unless you ask.

Still, anxiety about bringing up the idea is common.

So, you may be pleasantly surprised to find your partner is just as intrigued as you are.

How to Peg?

Once you have talked through pegging and decided the act is something you both want to try, you will need a few necessities and a little insight into the best positions.

What toys should we use?

Obviously, if you're planning to do some pegging you need a "peg" and harness.

Essentially, you can go with a harness and pick a dildo that works with that harness or just pick up a strap-on dildo set.

The latter offers simplicity for first-timers, but the former lets the giver choose a harness ideal for them and the receiver gets to pick the peg (i.e., dildo).

Woman putting on harness for strap on to use for pegging

Harnesses come in two different styles:

  1. Typical strap-on types that slip around the thighs and waist sort of like a jockstrap; straps usually meet at a center O-ring.
  2. Underwear types that straight-up look like a pair of underwear with a hole for threading through the dildo.

The general strap-on harness is adjustable, which offers a better fit and more control over the peg.

But, some givers do prefer the underwear-type harness just the same.

A few harnesses to consider:

As for the dildo to use along with your harness, the receiver should have all the say in the matter.

The general recommendation is to always start with a smaller peg, especially if you don’t have a lot of anal penetration experience.

If you prefer a strap-on kit, you have no shortage of options. A few good ones:

You can find strap-on kits specifically made for girl-to-guy pegging, which means the harness is designed for vulva-owners and the dildo is designed for the male recipient.

Added note, some kits even have special perks for the giver, such as pointedly-placed vibrators for clitoral stimulation.

Pegging Lubes

Make sure you get lube from Promescent for your pegging session

Lubricating to superior slickness is all-out necessary for an enjoyable pegging experience.

Stick with a lube type that is safe for use with the dildo you pick.

For example, if your dildo is medical-grade silicone, you'll need a water-based lube, as silicone-based lubes can damage the toy.

Even water-based lubes can have a thicker, gel-like consistency, which tend to be longer-lasting and better for anal play.

Whatever lube you pick, be sure to be generous with the application. The goal is for the receiver to feel no friction whatsoever.

Pegging Positions

Positions for pegging can be a matter of preference for both parties involved.

However, choosing the right position also opens the door for more prostate stimulation for him.

A few positions to try:

1. Lifted missionary position

He's on his back, hips supported by a pillow, knees pulled up with his anus tilted upward. She's on top.Pegging lifted missionary sex position

2. Doggy style

He's on all fours. She's positioned from behind.

Pegging doggystyle sex position

3. Cowgirl

She's on her back, dildo held upward. He's on top and in control of the insertion and "riding."
Pegging Cowgirl Sex Position

Regardless of the position you intend to try, remember these tips:

  1. Lube up well
  2. Gently press the tip of the dildo against the entrance to the anal canal
  3. Slowly push the dildo into the anal entrance as the receiver exhales

This slow process allows the receiver to adjust to the size of the peg as it enters their canal.

Once the canal has expanded and relaxed, you can proceed with more fervent thrusting or penetration according to what is comfortable.

A Note for Guys Getting Pegged

Anal stimulation is actually recommended for guys who struggle to reach orgasm because stimulating the prostate encourages climax.

If you are on the opposite side of the problem and sometimes ejaculate too quickly, pegging may heighten that issue.

For that reason, getting started with a bit of Promescent Delay Spray in advance can be a good idea.

Precautions

Pegging can be a lot of fun, but taking a few precautions will ensure you get all the fun without the potential risks that can come along with anal play.

Poop

Any time you are doing anything anally, fecal matter is a possibility.

To negate the risks of poop being involved, you should anally douche and have a shower where you clean your external anus with soap and water.

If you have a healthy diet and eat a lot of fiber, you don’t always need to douche.

A good wipe down with Promescent Before and After Wipes will suffice.

As a word of caution, nothing used during pegging should pass between the anus and mouth or the anus and vagina.

You do have to make sure bacteria is not passed around, as bacteria found in poop has the potential to cause some pretty serious infections.

STIs are still possible

2 bananas with condoms on promoting safe sex during pegging

STI risks should always be considered with every sexual encounter, including while pegging.

STIs like chlamydia and gonorrhea can be transmitted through bodily fluids.

HPV and herpes can even be transmitted via skin-to-skin contact.

No worries, though. With a few precautions you can reduce risks of spreading an STI while pegging:

  • Only use dildos made of non-porous materials like silicone
  • Always slip a condom over the dildo
  • Make sure you're using the right lube with the right condom material
  • Wash the harness between uses
  • Dispose of the used condom, wash the dildo, and slip on a new condom if switching recipients

Go slow and talk through it

The anal canal can stretch to accommodate what's being inserted, but the anal canal can also sustain tiny tears if the giver is a bit too rough or if good lube isn't used.

With that being said, make sure you ease into pegging and do so with a substantial amount of slickness.

Go slow and communicate.

If you're the recipient and anything is painful or uncomfortable, speak up. If you're the giver, ask questions and follow the recipient's directions.

Takeaways

Pegging is a great way to expand your sexual repertoire with your partner.

There are numerous pleasurable benefits for both the receiver and giver—and you can have mind blowing orgasms while getting pegged.

If you're considering giving it an ol’ college try, bring up the idea of pegging to your partner.

You may even let them know you've found a pretty intriguing article that discusses pegging.

Maybe they'd like to read it...then maybe they'd like to talk about what they've read...then maybe do it.

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Zachary Zane
Zachary Zane

Zachary Zane is a Brooklyn-based columnist, sex expert, and activist whose work focuses on sexuality, lifestyle, culture, and the LGBTQ community. He currently has a sex advice column at Men's Health titled "Sexplain It" and a relationship column at Queer Majority titled "Zach and the City." His work has been published in Rolling Stone, The Washington Post, GQ, Playboy, Slate, NBC, Cosmo, and many others. He also has a weekly newsletter, BOYSLUT, where he writes erotic essays detailing his wildest and raunchiest personal sex stories.


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