Learn what the male g-spot is, how to find it, and how to stimulate it.
Are you still having orgasms the old-fashioned way - the same way you did when you were a teenager?
If so, it might be time to explore new avenues for pleasure.
Have you ever heard of the male G-spot?
In men, the G-spot, also often called the P-spot, or you might know it by its actual name; the prostate.
Packed with nerve endings, stimulation of this walnut-sized gland can be immensely pleasurable, and many men report having much more intense orgasms.
So let’s learn more about this little gem hidden inside your body.
No, not at all. While there’s a popular stereotype that anal sex is "only" for gay men, we need to get that out of our heads.
It is located inside the rectum about one knuckle deep towards the direction of your bladder and stomach.
While there may be some discomfort initially if you are not used to anal penetration, it should not hurt. If you are experiencing pain, then stop and talk to your doctor. There could be a medical issue that you need to get addressed.
Since everyone is different, it's hard to say exactly what you personally should expect, but most men will experience a milky semen-like substance referred to as 'prostate milk,' a precursor to a prostate orgasm.
Located just below the bladder, roughly 2 inches inside the rectum, which is about the length of your finger to your first knuckle (how handy.)
When trying to figure out how to find the male G-spot, it may help to visualize; it’s in the area between your scrotum and rectum, often referred to as the taint.
Because the prostate gland is internal, you can’t directly touch it, but you can stimulate it from either outside the body or through anal insertion.
Externally, you can massage the perineum, which is the strip of skin between the scrotum and the anus.
Internally, you can use things like fingers and toys (or penetration with a penis or strap-on) to reach it.
Each method has its advantages, and some may prefer one method over the other, or they may enjoy both.
You won’t know until you try!
Anal penetration is one of the more common ways to access the prostate.
But if you’ve never tried it before, you may want to practice it first during masturbation to figure out what feels good so that you can communicate this to a partner later.
Fortunately, given the location and size of the prostate, shallow penetration is all that is needed to access it.
Penetrative sex for prostate stimulation can be done in several different positions, such as missionary or doggy style.
Doggy Style Position:
These positions allow for direct, unimpeded contact and provide continual pleasure to both the giver and receiver.
But feel free to try other positions, and see what feels best for you.
For example, you might try laying on your side while being penetrated as a way to target the prostate.
Indirect stimulation via the perineum
Consistent pressure is the key to orgasming through your perineum (an area some people refer to as the “taint”).
Try applying firm but gentle pressure in a back-and-forth motion to stimulate the prostate in this way.
This is where a prostate massager would come in handy, as most of these devices are designed to stimulate the prostate and the perineum simultaneously.
You don’t even have to use your hands. Simply insert it, and you’re free to focus on other things, like your partner or your penis.
Even better, most prostate massagers nowadays are Bluetooth enabled. Just imagine the fun you could have with that.
If you find you’re one of the lucky ones that can climax from a prostate massage, these devices can help get you there quicker.
Pro Tip: A P-spot orgasm might sneak up on you and can be very intense.
Preparing for any type of anal sex may require some mental exercises first.
For many men, anal play is taboo or completely off-limits.
Even those willing to explore it might have reservations because of the stigma associated with men and anal sex.
If any of this sounds like you, try starting first with some relaxation and breathing exercises to get in the right state of mind.
If you aren’t fully relaxed, it will be much harder to experience pleasure, and it could make the experience painful.
Also, consider trying things on your own first to increase your comfort level before introducing this activity with a partner.
You may also find it helpful to read stories online about other people’s experiences.
This may give you some new ideas while also helping to normalize them.
Beyond this, there are other aspects of preparation for anal play that you might not have considered.
From hygiene to simply going to the bathroom first, consider all of this to ensure you and your partner have an enjoyable, sexy time.
Any type of anal play usually requires a bit of preparation and some tools to make sure everyone has a good time.
Below is a list of things you’ll want to make sure you have to enjoy your prostate massage to its fullest.
The most important part of this type of sex play is using lots and lots of lube, especially if you’re doing any kind of penetration, whether with fingers or toys.
Pro Tip: Promescent makes a great line of personal lubricants. Check out our silicone-based lube next time you want to enjoy your P-Spot.
Silicone-based lubricants may be your best bet because they don't dry out as quickly as water-based ones.
However, silicone lubes may not be compatible with your toys, so be sure to find a toy-friendly lube if that’s the case.
Likewise, lubrication is necessary for both parties if you're stimulating the prostate through anal sex.
You might want to invest in a good prostate massager as well.
These can make P-spot orgasms much easier than penetration with a finger.
And if you find you like male G-spot play, this can introduce new and potentially more intense sensations.
Just make sure to look for something optimized for prostate massage rather than just a regular vibrating dildo, as they are not angled to hit the prostate.
Dildos also tend to be larger than you need to stimulate the prostate.
You might also consider using a small butt plug to dilate the anus and make penetration easier.
Additionally, wearing a butt plug during sex or masturbation can stimulate the prostate gland as you simultaneously receive penile stimulation, potentially leading to more intense orgasms.
You'll be using a lot of lube, so putting a towel down is a good idea, so you don't stain sheets or make a mess.
You'll also want some kind of wipe to clean up after.
Promescent before and after wipes are a great choice because they're very gentle, and you certainly don't want irritation back there.
Condoms or some other type of sexual barrier are important to ensure everyone stays safe, clean, and happy.
If you’re sharing toys between partners, putting a condom on them can reduce the risk of STI transmission because simply washing toys might not be enough.
Pro Tip: Promescent makes a premium adult toy cleaner that is safe and effective for you and your toys.
Condoms are also important for penile insertion, and if you’re inserting fingers, then latex gloves or finger condoms are always a good idea.
Many people find that anal play--and sex play in general--is more comfortable and pleasurable when they feel fresh and clean.
Here are some steps to consider to keep things running smoothly.
Some people feel more comfortable trimming or waxing their anal area before anal play.
Obviously, this is optional and depends on your comfort level. But if you do opt to groom, take care!
Sure this means using tools designed to reduce the risk of cuts and injury, but it also means taking your time, not rushing, and planning this out in advance.
Doctors often recommend not grooming immediately before sex so that you give the skin some time to recover first.
Some people feel self-conscious about anal cleanliness, so they use douches or enemas prior to anal play.
But, enemas and douching carry certain risks, particularly when overused.
So if you’re going to use these products, educate yourself on the safest way to use them first.
Pro tip: A high-fiber diet can achieve the same “results” as an enema, but without the risk.
If you know you'll be engaging in prostate play, go to the bathroom as entirely as possible first.
Follow that up with a shower to ensure the area is clean.
This can help with relaxation because if you are worried about how you smell or how your partner interprets your hygiene, it can make it harder to be in the moment and have fun.
While playing with your P-spot is pretty straightforward, there are a lot of ways to spice it up.
Some of these massagers provide internal stimulation only, whereas others provide a combination of internal and external stimulation.
Both types can help facilitate orgasms through prostate massage and can be fun to introduce into your sex routine.
Specifically designed and angled to hit the prostate directly while also providing firm, consistent vibrations to help you get the pleasure you’re seeking.
These are thin vibrators with a bulb at the end that is angled to hit the prostate.
Unlike a dildo or other vibrators where the entire shaft is thick, a prostate wand is designed with a skinny shaft to take the focus away from the girth of the penetrative object.
By utilizing a thinner penetration device with a vibrator directly on the P-spot, you can engage the prostate without any potential discomfort that might come from using a larger toy.
If you're manipulating the prostate with your fingers, a handy trick is to use the "come hither" motion.
This is very similar to the technique commonly recommended to hit the G-spot in women.
By drawing your index finger toward you slowly, you can hit the prostate over and over.
However, if you (or your partner) are using fingers for stimulation, make sure fingernails are trimmed short.
Use your hands elsewhere
The penetrative partner can provide additional stimulation to their receptive partner by simultaneously stimulating their penis or scrotum.
This combination of sexual attention can make sensations for the receptive partner even more intense.
Moreover, priming the penis to orgasm can help make it easier to get off through prostate massage.
Foreplay has a significant role here, too - the more relaxed and turned-on you both are, the easier it will be to orgasm.
Anal sex and prostate stimulation are not for everyone.
And if you try to orgasm with P-spot stimulation and find it doesn't work, try again.
It may take a few experimental sessions to get it right, but trust us, you'll be coming back for more once you do.
Remember: practice makes perfect!
You may not feel much of anything during your first prostate massage.
This is normal - it can be challenging to have an orgasm this way if you've never done it or you have hang-ups about anal play.
This is why consistent pressure is essential!
Just like with penis-focused orgasms, the sensation can build over time, and it may feel very different from orgasms that occur through penile stimulation alone.
For some people, just a little bit of play is enough to generate prostate orgasms, but it takes a dedicated hand for others.
Or it might not happen at all because everyone’s body is different.
Do what’s pleasurable for you and what works for your body!
Pro Tip: this type of sexual stimulation can sometimes make you feel the urge to go to the restroom, so it's a good idea to get that out of the way before getting started.
There shouldn't be any pain if you’re doing it right--meaning you are taking your time, going slow, and using plenty of lube.
If you do feel pain, stop, take a break, and get more lube before you try again.
If it continues to be painful, talk to your doctor because it could signify a potential health issue in need of treatment.
The way men describe P-spot orgasms vary, and what it feels like depends on whether you’re also combining it with penile stimulation.
Some men might stimulate the prostate only, while others may combine it with penile masturbation.
So how it feels ultimately depends on how you’re doing it.
If you’re just stimulating the prostate, you may experience leaking of a milky, semen-like substance from the tip of the penis.
This "prostate milk," as some call it, is sometimes a precursor to a prostate orgasm.
For those who experience this, you'll likely feel the pleasure mounting over time.
As this happens, communicate with your partner if you need them to stop or slow down or if the stimulation becomes too intense.
The anus is rich with nerve endings, making every little bit of penetration and movement a pretty intense experience.
This intensity is why so many men describe P-spot orgasms as being so much stronger than traditional orgasms.
The intensity of the stimulation leads you to focus more on your body sensations, which can allow you to really be in the moment and feel everything more intensely.
As the penetrative partner, you are looking for a walnut-sized, somewhat firm structure.
You may want to practice finding it on your partner first with your finger before using toys so that you know where to direct the stimulation.
Whether you’re providing internal or external stimulation, go slow and communicate with your partner.
If you’re penetrating them, the key is slow, shallow strokes and focusing on helping your partner orgasm.
P-spot play can be a fun and incredible addition to your sexual lineup.
Prostate massage not only has the potential to generate more intense orgasms, but it can also add some spice and novelty to your sex life.
Plus, it can be done by yourself with relative ease, so you don't even need someone else to get you off in a fun and unique way.
However, make sure you use enough lube and consider bringing a sex toy into the mix; you'll be glad you did!
Hopefully, with the help of this guide, you'll soon be experiencing a whole new world of sexual pleasure.
Dr. Justin Lehmiller is a social psychologist and Research Fellow at The Kinsey Institute. He is author of the blog Sex and Psychology and the popular book Tell Me What You Want: The Science of Sexual Desire and How It Can Help You Improve Your Sex Life. He is also a prolific researcher who has published more than 50 academic works, including a textbook titled The Psychology of Human Sexuality that is used in college classrooms around the world. Dr. Lehmiller is one of the media's go-to experts on sex and has been interviewed by The Wall Street Journal, The New York Times, and CNN; he has also appeared on dozens of radio, podcast, and television programs.
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Vieira-Baptista, P., Lima-Silva, J., Preti, M., Xavier, J., Vendeira, P., & Stockdale, C. K. (2021). G-spot: Fact or Fiction?: A Systematic Review. Sexual medicine, 9(5), 100435. Accessed June 8, 2022. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.esxm.2021.100435
Dr. Justin Lehmiller. 2021 January 21. Episode 18: Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Anal Sex, But Were Afraid To Ask. Sex & Psychology. https://www.sexandpsychology.com/blog/podcast/episode-18-everything-you-ever-wanted-to-know-about-anal-sex-but-were-afraid-to-ask/
Dr. Justin Lehmiller. 2014 April 28. Is It Safe To Share Sex Toys?. Sex & Psychology. https://www.sexandpsychology.com/blog/2014/4/28/is-it-safe-to-share-sex-toys/
WebMD Editorial Contributors and Neha Pathak, MD. 2020 November 17. Prostate Orgasm: What It Is. WebMD. https://www.webmd.com/sex/prostate-orgasm-what-it-is