Prostate Milking: A Getting Started Guide

Have you been curious about prostate milking, but too afraid to ask? We'll help you decide if it's right for you.

Zachary Zane
Columnist, sex expert, and activist whose work focuses on sexuality, lifestyle, culture, and the LGBTQ community
by Zachary Zane Last updated 12/13/2023
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illustration showing the amount of pleasure from prostate massage

Have you ever explored your p-spot?

If you don't know what or where that is, we're just talking about your prostate.

Every cisgender man has one, but most men have no idea that this tiny gland has a TON to do with sexual function and ejaculation.

Even fewer men have any idea that the prostate is encompassed by lots of glorious nerve endings that can deliver incredible levels of pleasure when massaged just so.

This just-so touching is often called prostate milking.

Well, there's a good reason why this pleasure-delivering activity is referred to as milking.

After a formal introduction, you may just want to try prostate milking yourself.

Let's take a closer look.

Quick FAQs

Prostate milking is the act of stimulating the prostate to achieve orgasm.

Yes, and no. While anyone with a prostate can milk it, only cisgender men have prostates. Sorry ladies!

The gland is located just inside the rectum and right below the bladder, directly at the root of the penis.

While it is relatively safe, like with anything, you can overdo it. Some of the most common risk factors are rectal bleeding, risk of a bacterial infection, and aggravating hemorrhoids.

What is prostate milking?

Prostate milking is a form of prostate massage for sexual pleasure in an effort to cause a unique ejaculatory action and possibly a prostate orgasm.

When the prostate is massaged in a certain way, excess seminal fluid expels from the inner ducts of the prostate gland.

This usually leads to a thin stream of milky (hence the term "milking") fluid leaking from your penis.

Milking can also lead to prostate-induced orgasms, with or without the actual ejaculation and release of seminal fluid.

This is called a p-spot orgasm, which has a unique sensation different from regular penile orgasms.

Prostate orgasms tend to be more full-bodied instead of localized to your genitals.

Can anyone do it?

Only individuals born with male genitalia can experience prostate milking or a prostate orgasm.

study conducted in the 80's showed that the prostate actually has three different nerve endings conducive to producing pleasure.

That being said, not every man will find the sensation enjoyable or will be comfortable enough with prostate stimulation through the backdoor to enjoy it.

Also, it can be more challenging for a man to milk his own prostate; having a partner do the milking is the typical recommendation.

How do I find my prostate?

Illustration of where the prostate is located

The prostate is a gland, and it’s not that difficult to find with a bit of guidance, even though it is only about the size of a walnut.

Older men may have a slightly larger prostate that is relatively easier to find—this gland can grow as big as a plum or larger with age.

When you try to do a prostate massage for the first time for pleasure purposes, it is a good idea to get yourself aroused first.

When the penis is erect, the prostate may even be easier to find because the gland swells and shifts position just slightly to a more backward position.

The gland is located inside the rectum, right below the bladder, directly at the root of the penis.

Find the prostate by sticking a lubricated finger into the rectum and gently pushing on the front wall toward the penis.

You should feel a slight lump or bulge in the area, and when you apply a bit of pressure, you may initially feel a slight urge to urinate.

How to milk your prostate

How to milk your prostate instructions illustrated

Once you are fully erect and feeling well aroused, grab the lube and get started. Here's a quick step-by-step explanation of how to make this happen.

  • Apply a generous amount of lube around the anus
  • Slowly push in your index finger to about the first knuckle; massage back and forth gently to encourage the muscles to relax.
  • Add more lube and work your way to second-knuckle deep
  • Repeat until you can go a full-finger in
  • Find the rounded lump about two to four inches inside the rectum toward the back end of your penis.
  • Work the tip of your finger against your prostate in a gentle circular motion.
  • Work the pad of your finger (the soft side) against the prostate in a back-and-forth motion.
  • Intermittently, apply gentle pressure to the prostate for around 10 seconds using the soft pad of your finger.

As you do this (or have a partner do it for you), you will discover which motions and actions feel the most pleasurable for you.

A little trial and error can be expected, so go slow and easy and be patient while your body adjusts to the new sensation.

Keep in mind that you can also use various anal toys to stimulate the prostate, and some are shaped just right for milking with an angled end that applies pressure to just the right area.

Pro tip: If you're a couple that's a bit more adventurous, you may  want to give pegging a try. Not only will it massage your prostate, but many couples find the role reversal very exciting.

A little trial and error can be expected, so go slow and easy and be patient while your body adjusts to the new sensation.

Keep in mind, you can also use various anal toys to stimulate the prostate, and some are shaped just right for milking with an angled end that applies pressure to just the right area.

Should you stroke your penis while you massage the prostate?

If you're alone and have the coordination to do it, go for it!

Many people have reported that masturbating while milking your prostate takes the experience to a whole new level.

Obviously, simultaneous p-spot and penile stimulation are easier when you have a partner involved, but there are toys like the Vector prostate massager that can help.

We should warn you that dual stimulation of the prostate and penis can result in near sudden ejaculations, so be ready.

Is prostate milking good for premature ejaculation?

It depends.

For guys who can't handle much penis stimulation without losing it, prostate massage may be another way to enjoy foreplay without directly touching the sensitive parts of your penis.

However, some guys find prostate stimulation to be so exciting and stimulating that it pushes their arousal point even further than usual.

Therefore, ejaculation may happen even faster than usual.

Every man will have his own unique experience with prostate massage, so a little experimentation may be in order.

If you find that prostate play coupled with masturbation causes you to ejaculate faster than you want to, consider using Promescent Desensitizing Spray.

It can help lower your sensitivity and allow you to enjoy extended masturbation during your milking session.

If you do choose to use delay spray, just be sure to wash your hands to prevent numbing your other body parts while you play.

You will want your hands to be sensitive to touch while exploring the prostate so you don't unintentionally get a little rough.

Pro TIp: Premature ejaculation (PE) effects roughly 1/3 of men. Check out our premature ejaculation guide to find out everything you need to know.

What does prostate milking feel like?

At first, prostate milking will make you feel a bit like you need to pee.

However, with a little patience to get through that first impression, you will feel more pleasure than awkward pressure like you have to urinate.

As noted earlier, the prostate is surrounded by nerve bundles, and those nerve bundles are directly connected to the penis.

Most men will tell you that the massaging motions will feel almost like you are stimulating your penis from the inside out.

If you find a sensation that feels especially good, keep up the actions with your finger.

As the sensations heighten and build to a climax point, you may start leaking prostatic fluid ("milk" or semen without sperm), which is a good sign a prostate orgasm is about to happen.

Does prostate milking hurt?

You may feel some slight discomfort initially, especially if you are not used to anal play.

However, milking should never hurt, and those initial feelings of discomfort should subside once you are more relaxed and able to focus on the pleasurable feelings.

Only 8.3 percent of men report soreness from prostate milking

As a side note, only 8.3 percent of 154 men in one study did find that massaging the prostate with a prostate massage device did report some rectal soreness after the fact.

As long as you are gentle, move slowly, and stick to a few ground rules, you should be fine.

Is prostate milking safe

What are the health benefits of milking the prostate?

There hasn’t been a great deal of research done by researchers. Nevertheless, there are a few good potential benefits to highlight for now.

It’s incredibly pleasurable

The most noteworthy benefit of prostate milking, hands-down, is that it can deliver immense amounts of pleasure for any man that is open to the experience.

Prostate milking is an intimate experience, adds variety to foreplay, and may even mean more intense orgasms.

May help with erectile dysfunction (ED)

Historically, prostate massage has been thought to be a good way to help men experiencing erectile dysfunction.

Pro Tip: If you're suffering from erectile dysfunction, then talk to the professionals at Promescent about ED meds delivered discreetly to your door. 

While the clinical evidence to support the theory is lacking, prostate milking may be worth a try.

Prostate milking may help with erectile dysfunction

May improve urine flow

Urinary flow can be impeded when the prostate is enlarged, so directly massaging it may help reduce the swelling.

Some men have even reported finding it easier to pee after a prostate massage.

May help with painful ejaculation

Painful ejaculation can be related to fluid blockages within the reproductive system and related to the prostate gland.

Prostate massage may help break down those blockages and lead to less pain during ejaculation.

May help with prostatitis

Prostatitis is a condition characterized by swelling and inflammation of the prostate.

Some small studies have found that prostate massage several times weekly in conjunction with antibiotics may help relieve some of the pressure and swelling.

Does prostate milking prevent cancer?

Prostate massage has not been proven to lower the risk of prostate cancer, which affects about one in eight men in the U.S.

Nevertheless, some doctors may actually recommend prostate massage to lower the risk of prostate cancer.

Are there risks with prostate milking?

Prostate milking can generally be safe, but you do want to use some caution because the act is not without a few risks.

The delicate tissue inside the rectum and that line the prostate are vulnerable to damage if things get a bit aggressive.

Some risks that come along with aggressive prostate massage include:

  • Rectal bleeding
  • Cuts, tears, and abrasions
  • Risks of bacterial infection
  • Aggravating hemorrhoids

In addition, massaging the prostate can lead to higher inflammation and encourage bacteria to cause lower urinary tract symptoms of infection.

Therefore, men who have been diagnosed with urinary health conditions may want to avoid prostate milking.

One more risk to consider: the prostate is connected to the penis and is highly important for ejaculation.

Damaging the prostate can lead to everything from ED to an inability to ejaculate.

With that in mind, being gentle is an absolute must during any type of prostate stimulation.

Be careful with intensity, extreme pressure, and even prostate massagers that vibrate at extreme speeds.

Does prostate milking cause cancer?

Prostate milking is not known to cause prostate cancer.

However, men who have been diagnosed with or are suspected of having prostate cancer should refrain from prostate massage.

Cancerous cells around the prostate can detach from a prostate tumor and spread to other parts of the body.

Keep in mind that prostate-specific antigen (PSA) tests can be affected by a prostate massage.

In some cases, prostate milking before a PSA can lead to a false-negative result.

How to keep prostate milking safe and low risk

Be gentle, go slow, and don't make abrupt movements while milking. Aim to use only the soft, padded side of your finger for stimulation.

A few other pointers:

  • Wash hands thoroughly
  • Use only clean toys that are gentle enough for direct prostate stimulation
  • Cut and file fingernails to avoid scratches
  • Wear a condom over your finger or wear a new disposable glove
  • Always use plenty of lube—if you think you have enough, add a bit more

On another note, make sure you're clean beforehand to deter bacteria from spreading while you play, with or without a partner.

Some men prefer to use an enema for added cleansing before anal play, but that's not a necessity.

Just give your backdoor more attention while in the shower.

If something hurts, stop!

If you accidentally scratch yourself or get scratched, forgo anal play until you heal.

Don't apply too much pressure, and make sure to tread lightly while working with the P-spot.


Glasses of milk representing prostate milk

So, in the end, prostate milking may not be everyone's cup of tea.

Prostate milking can take your pleasure to a totally new level. When done correctly and with the right guidance, milking is relatively safe and may even offer some therapeutic value beyond killer orgasms.

If you're curious, try milking on yourself or get your partner involved.

Contrary to popular belief, enjoying prostate milking is not defined by your sexuality.

Feel free to go for it, experiment, practice, and you may discover your prostate deserves far more attention during foreplay and sex.

Zachary Zane

Zachary Zane

Zachary Zane is a Brooklyn-based columnist, sex expert, and activist whose work focuses on sexuality, lifestyle, culture, and the LGBTQ community. He currently has a sex advice column at Men's Health titled "Sexplain It" and a relationship column at Queer Majority titled "Zach and the City." His work has been published in Rolling Stone, The Washington Post, GQ, Playboy, Slate, NBC, Cosmo, and many others. He also has a weekly newsletter, BOYSLUT, where he writes erotic essays detailing his wildest and raunchiest personal sex stories.


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  • Jillian L. Capodice, Brian A. Stone , Aaron E. Katz. 2009, January 10. Evaluation of an At-Home-Use Prostate Massage Device for Men with Lower Urinary Tract Symptoms. The Open Urology & Nephrology Journal. Accessed April 27, 2022
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The Content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.

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