It can be an exciting and anxious moment when you're about to lose your virginity. Here's everything to know about how to have sex for the first time.
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Having sex for the first time can be a wonderful and exhilarating experience. It can also be one full of anxieties and uncertainties.
But there are ways to minimize those effects in favor of pleasure. If you’re about to lose your virginity, this guide will help you fully prepare and calm your mind.
It's important to find a private place for you and your partner to be comfortable. Use protection, get your partner's consent, and engage in foreplay before penetration.
Some individuals will experience mild discomfort their first time having sex. Be sure to make use of lube and take things slow to make the experience less uncomfortable.
Most men will likely orgasm their first time. Women may not orgasm their first time through penetration alone. Consider adding some fingering along with penetration to increase chances of orgasm.
Here’s everything to know about making sex for the first time the best experience possible!
The first time having sex can be a huge step towards deepening connection in a relationship and expanding horizons.
This guide will look at all aspects of that, whether you’re a virgin in a stable relationship or you’re enjoying a more casual situation. There will also be useful tips on:
It’s important to remember that while having sex can be serious, it should also be playful and fun. Remembering that can reduce the stress of it all. Here are some tips to keep in mind.
Sex can often be spontaneous, but for the first time, it will likely require a bit more talking and planning.
The tricky part is, talking about sex can sometimes be just as difficult as actually having sex. But it’s crucial that first timers are open and honest with their partner so that everyone can have a good time.
Some important questions and conversations around sex that should be discussed with a partner include:
None of these conversations are necessarily fun or easy, but they’re a very important part of a healthy sexual relationship. Once the tough questions have been asked, partners can have sex without any uncertainties or fears.
Using protection is necessary unless couples are actively planning for a pregnancy. First timers should talk with their partner about whether they’re currently using a form of protection, or if they’re ready to start one.
Men can use condoms as a protection, or they can get a vasectomy. Women have the following proven and recommended options including:
Some less effective, and not advised, forms of birth control include:
It’s important to always talk with a doctor before taking any new hormonal birth control to help maximize efficacy and prevent unwanted side effects.
Lubrication can be a game changer when it comes to having great sex. It’s often something that inexperienced partners forget about until they're already in the moment.
While women may naturally get more wet when aroused, it’s not always a given. Lubrication ensures both partners feel pleasure without any chaffing or uncomfortable sensations.
Different lubes have different pros and cons. It's help to try different condom-safe and body-safe lubes to see which is best:
Sex should happen in a space where there’s complete privacy. The last thing first-timers need is someone knocking on the door or barging in.
Partners should consider their living situation when planning ahead. If there are roommates in the home, consider waiting until they’re gone before starting, or rent a nearby room for the night.
Having no interruptions will allow first-time sex partners to take their time to make the experience pleasurable.
Partners should engage in foreplay before getting right into penetration. Foreplay can increase arousal, which helps males get better erections to penetrate, and females get more vaginal lubrication for sex to be pleasurable.
Some foreplay ideas to consider include:
Partners can also share what types of foreplay they like to help further increase arousal.
Talking is sexy, whether it’s dirty talk or just being open about one's desires. By engaging in honest conversations, both partners can lay out clearly what they want, and don’t want, in the bedroom.
Some people may be a bit more shy and timid about discussing these things. A few conversation starters to help open things up include:
During sex, it’s important for partners to be vocal by asking how things are going, and talking about what’s feeling good.
Research has also found that making noises during sex can also enhance arousal. Don’t be shy about letting out a moan or grunt during intercourse.
Consent should always be acquired before and during sex, and it doesn't always have to be verbal.
During sex, if any partner is ever saying anything like "no," "wait," "stop," or "don't," the partner should pause and discuss things.
However, there are also forms of non-verbal consent during sex that should be looked out for. If a partner flinches, or seems uncomfortable, it's important to stop and ask if everything's good.
Partners should pay attention to each other’s expressions and body language at all times.
For some partners, there may be discomfort during the first time having sex. If either partner experiences strong pain during intercourse, it's best to stop and take a break.
Here are some common reasons for mild discomfort during the first time:
For men:
For women:
Most men will likely orgasm the first time they have sex. In fact, it’s very likely the orgasm will occur quickly due to the unique and highly stimulating sensations.
A good way to prevent finishing too early is using products like the desensitizing spray to temporarily reduce sensations without removing pleasure.
By utilizing the active ingredient lidocaine, the climax control spray can safely help prevent overstimulation so men can gain greater control over their orgasm while still feeling pleasure.
For women having sex for the first time, an orgasm may not be likely from penetration alone, but ways to improve the chances include:
Knowing what to do when having sex for the first time can seem overwhelming. But by ollowing this guide, memorable and stress-free sex will be more possible.
Take things slow, be open about desires, and remember to keep things light despite how serious the moment can be.
By utilizing these tips, partners will be able to stay safe while experiencing newfound pleasure. From there, a partners can explore and discover all the unique and various things that sex has to offer.
Our team has over a decade of experience in the sexual wellness field and are experts in sexual dysfunctions, like premature ejaculation. We help couples and individuals better understand treatment options available for different types of sexual needs and educate the public on all things related to intimacy. All of our authored content is medically reviewed for accuracy and reliability.
Absorption Pharmaceuticals LLC (Promescent) has strict informational citing guidelines and relies on peer-reviewed studies, academic or research institutions, medical associations, and medical experts. We attempt to use primary sources and refrain from using tertiary references and only citing trustworthy sources. Each article is reviewed, written, and updated by Medical Professionals or authoritative Experts in a specific, related field of practice. You can find out more about how we ensure our content is accurate and current by reading our editorial policy.
Britton LE, Alspaugh A, Greene MZ, McLemore MR. CE: An Evidence-Based Update on Contraception. Am J Nurs. 2020 Feb;120(2):22-33. doi: 10.1097/01.NAJ.0000654304.29632.a7. PMID: 31977414; PMCID: PMC7533104. Accessed on Jan, 16, 2023.
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"How effective is spermicide? - Planned Parenthood." Plannedparenthood.org, 2023, www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/birth-control/spermicide/how-effective-spermicide. Accessed on Jan, 16, 2023.
"Foreplay - Play Safe." Playsafe.health.nsw.gov.au, 2023, www.playsafe.health.nsw.gov.au/2018/03/19/foreplay/. Accessed on Jan, 16, 2023.
"Let’s talk sex: The science of your brain on dirty talk - Big Think." Bigthink.com, 2023, www.bigthink.com/the-present/dirty-talk/. Accessed on Jan, 16, 2023.
"The Pleasure-Boosting Case for Being Loud and Proud During Sex - Well and Good." Wellandgood.com, 2020, www.wellgood.com/making-noise-during-sex/. Accessed on, Jan, 16, 2023.
"What is Consent? - University of California, Riverside." Care.ucr.edu, 2023, Care.ucr.edu/education/what-is-consent. Accessed on Jan, 16, 2023.
Kennedy CE, Yeh PT, Li J, Gonsalves L, Narasimhan M. Lubricants for the promotion of sexual health and well-being: a systematic review. Sex Reprod Health Matters. 2021;29(3):2044198. doi: 10.1080/26410397.2022.2044198. PMID: 35315312; PMCID: PMC8942543. Accessed on Jan, 16, 2023.
"Does a woman always bleed when she has sex for the first time? - NHS." Nhs.uk, 2021, www.nhs.uk/common-health-questions/sexual-health/does-a-woman-always-bleed-when-she-has-sex-for-the-first-time/. Accessed on Jan, 16, 2023.
Abu El-Hamd M. Effectiveness and tolerability of lidocaine 5% spray in the treatment of lifelong premature ejaculation patients: a randomized single-blind placebo-controlled clinical trial. Int J Impot Res. 2021 Jan;33(1):96-101. doi: 10.1038/s41443-019-0225-9. Epub 2020 Jan 2. Erratum in: Int J Impot Res. 2020 May;32(3):367. PMID: 31896832. Accessed on Jan, 16, 2023.
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