We may think we live in a sexually liberal society. In many ways we do.
But try bringing up the most normal sexual activity of all — masturbation — with someone you don't know that well, in a setting where they aren’t expecting it. The awkwardness will surely ensue.
There's a cost to this silence, where masturbation is spoken of in hushed tones, guffaws, and euphemisms — jerking off,fapping, choking the chicken, masturbation, etc,.
Behind all the huffing and puffing, there are some confused guys out there.
No one ever told you that there were several different ways to masturbate.
You learned whatever method was fastest to get off before your dorm roommate came back from practice or before Mom got suspicious of how long you were in the bathroom and came knocking on the locked door.
So let's talk about masturbation.
It's not a sin, and it's not the last resort of losers who didn't meet anyone at the club that night. It's a genuine sexual act that nearly every guy enjoys at some point in his life.
You may still carry residual shame from the bathroom at Mom's house. Or think that "real men" have sex with real partners.
You may make a "no-fap" pledge as a kind of personal development goal. Or think you are somehow cheating on your spouse by enjoying a little pleasure time.
This is genuinely sad, considering masturbation is not only fun but good for you in many ways.
Let's take a close look at male masturbation and how to do it in a way that improves your sex life and enhances your personal wellbeing.
Men masturbate by pleasing themselves sexually. There is no single “correct” way to do it but there are things that you can do to make it more pleasurable.
The simplest version of this is stroking the penis with the hand until aroused, then continuing until orgasm and ejaculation. Men are visual creatures and often rely on some sort of fantasy or visual stimulus to become aroused.
The best way to masturbate is to listen to your body and do what feels good, what comes naturally.
That said, most men take a very functional, "get-'er-done" approach to masturbating, and in doing so they leave a lot of pleasure potential on the table.
It's time for you to discover what your body is capable of, and enjoy a satisfying sex life with the one person you can count on the most — yourself!
Dimming the lights, turning on sensual music, pouring a glass of wine, lighting candles, aromatherapy.
These are things we tend to thinkwomendo to prepare themselves to masturbate. Or things we do to set the mood for a date.
Most men wouldn't think to set the mood forthemselves.
The thing is, masturbation is an act of self-care.
Many men grow up thinking that self-care is self-indulgence and somehow unmanly. The truth is, just like women, we have our best sex when we're relaxed, at ease, and in our element.
That includes sex with ourselves.
So pour yourself some bourbon ... dim the lights ... and yes, light some candles. You might be surprised how much it enhances your enjoyment of the act!
Sex with a partner is often more fun when you switch up the position.
Why limit yourself when sex-for-one is on the menu?
Try masturbating lying down, sitting up, standing up, or leaning against a wall.
You might learn to enjoy sex from a position you never used to like. And you don't have to do it in the heat of a passionate moment with a partner when it's go time.
Learn more about different sex positions to try right now! See: Top 12 Sex Positions to Try in 2020 (With Images)
There are reasons to masturbate quickly. Maybe you're late for work or your mom could walk in at any moment or you just feel like rubbing out a quick one.
Too many men adopt a habit of rushed masturbationlongafter they move out of mom's house.
This can actually exacerbate the problem of premature ejaculation.
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Slow down. Indulge in some anticipation, maybe a little buildup. Your orgasms will be stronger with a prolonged session.
Learn this simple technique to help you last a little longer: The Squeeze Technique: Step by Step Guide (With Images)
Dry masturbation is not ideal. Your penis could become desensitized over time, or even develop "rug burn.” Fight this effect by using lube when you masturbate.
No, not lotion. The use of lotion isn't lubing. It becomes less slick as it rubs into your skin, and scented lotions could cause irritation.
The best bet is a sexual lubricant, preferably water-based and free of warming agents which can also cause irritation.
In a pinch, you can use a 100%-pure dietary oil like coconut oil.
Using a petroleum jelly like vaseline is not recommended as a sexual lubricant because it can break down condoms, but the product is non-toxic and safe to use as a masturbation lubricant.
Not sure which lubricant to use? Try our paraben-free water-based lubricant
Masturbation is a chance to get off, sure, but also a chance to listen to your body and how it responds.
Pay attention to your breathing, your heartbeat.
How does your stomach feel? Your chest? Are you carrying tension? Anxiety? Relaxed?
You may have never thought of masturbation as a meditative act, but it can be.
The more attuned you are to your body, the more confident and at ease you will be in bed with a partner.
It's easy to fall into a masturbation rut.
If you really want to shake things up, try masturbating with your non-dominant hand.
Not only will you discover new sensations, but you will discover a challenge akin to figuring out the nuances of a partner's body, making you more versatile in bed.
Hip thrusting is more than just a way to get there. It's an instinct with a mental reward.
Don't neglect it when you masturbate.
Try bringing your pelvis to your hand rather than your hand to your pelvis to discover more intense and pleasurable orgasms.
Once guys have found your go-to stroke, they tend to stick with it through thick and thin.
This can leave them unprepared for the unpredictable sensations a partner's stimulation may produce.
Experiment with different strokes to masturbate. Learning to use different strokes will help you learn to get off with a partner, even if the stimulation isn't what you are used to.
Try twisting, pulling, three fingers, anything you can think of to alter the way you stroke yourself.
You really sell yourself short by focusing just on the head of the penis. While the corona (the ridge around the head of your penis) and the frenulum (the underside where the head and shaft meet) have more nerve endings than any other place on your genitals there are other pleasurable places to explore.
The scrotum has almost as many nerve endings, and the perineum (aka "taint") behind the scrotum plays a huge role in sexual pleasure if you let it.
Try pulling your balls down or caressing them as you stroke, massaging the perineum just behind the balls, and pressing down on the perineum during and after climax to intensify the orgasmic sensation.
Males get turned on by so many different kinds of touch, not just a genital touch.
You probably only masturbate with one hand. Give that other hand a job other than operating the mouse.
Touch your chest, nipples, belly, thighs. Pinch your ears and neck.
You will find so many more forms of sexual response than just penis stroking, leading to a much more satisfying solo sex session.
Women have their G-Spot and we men have our prostate.
Yes, that gland just inside your anus. Many guys don't like the thought of stimulating themselves anally, but for men who get over it, an ocean of pleasure awaits on the other side.
If you want to try it make sure that you wash your hands and trim your fingernails. Then lube up your fingers or a small toy and start by caressing and stimulating the rim of the anus.
Get it nice and relaxed before inserting just a little bit.
You might find it difficult to work the prostate and the penis at the same time. You might find the whole exercise uncomfortable... but lots of menloveprostate stimulation.
It's worth a try to see if you're one of them.
Also known as the stop-and-start method, this technique consists of masturbating close to orgasm, then stopping stimulation altogether, denying the penis its final release and forcing it to "de-arouse."
Many men find that this experience builds up to an explosive, mind-blowing orgasm.
Over time it can also alleviate premature ejaculation.
Experimenting with different ways to masturbate may mean incorporating sex toys.
Pocket or sleeve masturbation aids that you slide your penis into have come a long way in terms of the sensations they can produce.
Prostate stimulators and anal beads can help you get the back door in on the fun, as well.
Many guys rely on free pornographic videos available in abundance on the web. There are other options, however.
You might tryreading your porn or listening to it as an audiobook. Men are visual creatures, but closing your eyes is a great way to get in touch with your body.
You might find an appreciation for erotica you never knew you had.
Video porn has its far horizons as well. Consider paying for premium porn. A deep rabbit hole of fantasy is waiting for you behind the paywall.
Before porn, men fantasized.
There is still merit to this oldest of stimulation techniques. The mental exercise actually prepares you for the real thing. It's an active process, not a passive process of watching porn.
Try imagining your dream partner or scenario playing out behind your eyelids. Get detailed.
Imagine the things you’d say or do. You may even come away from the experience with ideas to bring into the bedroom.
Masturbation isn't just fun and natural — it's actually very good for your health.Like sexual intercourse, it releases hormones like serotonin and dopamine that have all sorts of beneficial effects. Faick (2017) reported in a Healthline article the following benefits of masturbation for males:
One thing is for sure — as long as you do it properly and avoid harmful masturbation practices (see below), there is no such thing as masturbating too much or masturbating too little. No adverse health effects have been linked to an excess of ejaculation. Although there are communities out there such as the No-Fap community who rave about the benefits of refraining from masturbation.
A 2016 study published in European Urology suggested that ejaculating at least 21 times per month substantially reduced a man's risk of prostate cancer. Music to our ears, right?
The evidence is actually more complicated.
The study relied on self-reporting and didn’t differentiate between masturbation and sex with a partner, so other factors could be at play.
Men can cause themselves problems down the road, sexually speaking, by masturbating incorrectly. Here are some things to avoid while masturbating:
Many men adopt the habit of squeezing their penis too hard when they masturbate.
In doing so, they become accustomed to very intense stimulation. Stimulation from a partner can be much more subtle.
If you have trouble climaxing with a partner because of it, it’s time to vary your masturbation technique. Try different strokes, your opposite hand, and a lighter touch.
As mentioned above, masturbating without lube can chafe your penis and even desensitize it permanently.
Consider a penis-specific lotion to heal any damage and start masturbating with lube (not lotion) immediately.
Hurrying your masturbation routine not only deprives you of pleasure and a chance to relax, but it can create or make worse a premature ejaculation problem.
Slow down. It’s not a race.
Repeat after us —masturbation is completely normal, even beneficial.
You aren’t betraying your partner, your family, or king and country by fapping every now and then.
Masturbation is healthy.
There are plenty of ways to build on your normal masturbation techniques for better sensations. Some will be brand new and some too adventurous. But that’s okay — as long as you’re doing it right, without causing long-term harm. Masturbating frequently is a good form of self-indulgence.
Remember, don’t rush it and try to always use some form of lubricant. It’s healthy for your penis and will provide protection against friction burns.
Don’t view masturbating as a sin or somehow not being faithful to your partner. We’re almost certain she self-indulges too.
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