Ahh—foreplay! The typical anticipatory precursor to sex. It’s ever-important to you and oh-so-fun for him, but it’s not just for a woman’s pleasure.
It’s a common understanding that foreplay is more important to women than guys, and some guys do sometimes seem to wander around in a Neanderthal state like what is foreplay?
Nevertheless, foreplay is important for both of you, even if he doesn't quite get it yet.
Some guys are a little scared of too much foreplay because they can’t handle the stimulation without losing control.
Let’s cover the penis anatomy to start and then we’ll jump into 20 foreplay tips for you to try.
His penis is a little more straightforward than your vagina in appearance, but just like you, guys have spots on their penis that are just as sensitive.
The more you know about these spots, the better you can please him during foreplay.
The frenulum is a strip of sensitive skin with a ton of nerve endings that attaches the penis to the foreskin.
If a guy is circumcised, the frenulum will be narrowed down to only a small, usually v-shaped portion of skin just below the center of the head.
The frenulum area is extremely sensitive, even if the majority of it is missing due to circumcision, and stimulation does encourage ejaculation.
According to the British Journal of Urology, guys with a circumcised penis are most sensitive around the scar where the bulk of the frenulum was removed.
The glans penis, which is most often simply called the glans, is basically just the head of the penis with a technical name.
Glans directly translates from the Latin word acorn, which is indicative of the typical bulbous sort-of shape of the tip of the penis.
Men have a lot of nerve endings in their glans, and during arousal, blood fills the area to make it even more sensitive.
The underside of the shaft of the penis is primarily where guys have a lot of sensitivity.
The lower side of the glans, the frenulum (or the remainder of the frenulum), and a few other points make up this sensitive area.
For more information on ways to control the most sensitive areas of the penis, see our article about: The Squeeze Technique
Open your mouth and let those dirty thoughts spill out, even if you have to whisper.
Talking dirty to a guy gets his mind and pulse racing, so injecting a little dirty talk into your foreplay efforts is going to get him all fired up.
Something as simple as a whispered phrase or expression can really send his arousal to new heights.
Yes, you’re probably good at picking lingerie you think looks sexy on you, but that’s not the same as him picking lingerie because he thinks it’s going to be sexy on you.
Taking your partner shopping for lingerie ensures he gets the look he wants to feast his eyes upon, and the whole ordeal generates a fair amount of foreplay-style heat.
For a little more spice, you can pick something for him to wear, and he can pick something for you.
When you get down to it, foreplay for men can take place from the time you finish with sex until the next time you come together, so there’s a lot of opportunity in between to build anticipation.
Make it a point to tease him throughout the day. By the time you get to a time or situation in the day when you can be together privately, he’ll barely be able to contain himself.
Send him sexy messages while he’s at work.
Drop by on his lunch break and give him a seductive kiss or two. Pointedly sit on his lap while he’s watching TV with your body pressed against his.
Make it a point to give him an alluring peek down your blouse or up your skirt.
Teasing is easy with guys because their sexual pilot light is always burning, so to speak.
Anything that can be construed as sexual will be.
For more detailed information on how you can spice things up in the bedroom, read our article: 21 New Things Couples Need to Try in Bed in 2022
Sit down with a pen and paper and write a list.
This is going to be a to-do list but not a honey-do list as usual—this list is all about how you want to be pleased during foreplay or sex.
Concocting a sexy list for his eyes only is arousing, and it gives you the chance to make your desires known in a way that he’s going to like.
Stroke his ego by telling him in a detailed way what you like about his body and what you like that he already does during your private moments.
Weave in information about your own fantasies with him or how you want him to please you and where.
The more detailed and graphic the better!
Shopping together for lingerie is fun, but it is also going to arouse your partner if you surprise him with secret sexy attire, and it doesn't even have to be lingerie either.
It’s a little cliche, but you could always just wrap yourself in something like a nice trench coat.
Slip-on some heels and a little lipstick, and meet him up for lunch.
When he asks you to remove your coat, whisper to let him know you have absolutely nothing under the coat.
His jaw will drop, and there will only be one thing on his mind from that moment on.
Slip your hand down his pants while he’s hanging out on the couch, kiss on his neck seductively while he’s on his laptop, or show your partner he’s invited to fondle you while you do laundry.
Foreplay in other places beyond the bedroom (or outside the house) is super-sexy, and the element of potentially getting caught really adds a new layer of excitement to the situation.
It’s not even a bad idea to plan for an overnight stay in a cheap hotel room just for fun.
Getting out of your typical surroundings can bring out a new side of your sexuality as well as his.
The penis may not be all that complicated, but it can respond positively to varied sensations.
Playing around with new sensations can be some of the best foreplay for men.
Pick up some warming or cooling lube, give him oral sex while eating a popsicle, or play around with his penis and testicles with warmed coconut oil on your hands.
You may find all kinds of new sensations he likes, and he will no doubt enjoy the experience.
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Seduction requires a little sneaky play when you get a moment or two alone, or even just alone enough that others won’t notice.
These are the foreplay moves for women that don’t involve going for the genitalia at all, but they will drive him just as crazy.
Prepare the bedroom (or any room) by lowering the lights, lighting a candle, and maybe playing some music.
Warm up a bit of coconut oil, and then slip into a robe you can slip out of easily.
Invite him for a full-body massage, and just as he gets comfortable, drop your robe to let him know this sensual foreplay is going to be all about the things he likes.
Sensual foreplay is all about soft-touch, passion, and making the other person feel doted upon.
Even the tough guys like to feel adored and pampered by their sexy partner—especially if she’s massaging him in the nude.
Get his attention by moving your body against him in a grinding motion while sitting on his lap.
Nothing is going to get his attention more than if you slip into something sheer and sexy and grind against his body as if you just can't wait any longer.
He’ll be entranced, and you’ll have a lot of fun in the process.
A lot of guys tend to be the initiators and some guys like that sense of control.
Yet, most guys will also tell you there’s something hot about a woman who takes charge in the bedroom.
If you want to arouse him, try taking the reins for a change, especially if you’re typically the laid-back one who lets him direct the show.
If you’re a little shy about lowering your inhibitions and taking charge, try blindfolding him and binding his hands.
Just these two changes can help you find some new bravery during foreplay.
It’s fun to make him wait for what he wants and get a little demanding or domineering in the process.
Make him beg for pleasure and your touch, or give him just enough stimulation to leave him longing for more.
Many women fantasize about relinquishing all control to their partner during foreplay.
Even if being submissive is not normally your preference, it never hurts to allow your partner to be a little more in control.
He will most assuredly enjoy this foreplay idea if he knows he has your permission beforehand to take control.
You might want to do a few things before you get started to give him the hint.
Adding BDSM (Bondage, Discipline, Submission, and Sadomasochism) to your foreplay repertoire will allow you to get as kinky as you want.
Spanking, biting, leather, chains, fancy ceiling contraptions—it’s all up to you and how seriously he takes the “dominating” thing or how far you’re willing to step into the "submissive" role.
But there’s no doubt you’ll both have a good time and probably a few laughs in the process.
There’s something so sexy about a woman all hot and bothered, ready and waiting, and sending out an invitation for sex to her man.
This call says you need it and you need it now.
Go ahead and send that text, call him up, or draft a well-worded text message.
Chances are, he’ll arrive in no time and be adequately prepared to deliver what you want.
Most guys will be pretty open about those secret fantasies they have when it comes to foreplay ideas.
But if he’s never mentioned it, just ask. If nothing else, ask him via text—he may be more comfortable disclosing details if he’s not face-to-face.
Chances are, his foreplay fantasies will be things you can easily make happen, and bringing those fantasies to life is so much fun.
The key here to build his confidence is to not laugh off his fantasies.
If he’s comfortable enough to share them with you, he’s probably thought about these imaginary scenarios a lot.
Most guys have some sort of fetish. To feed his fetish, you have to first understand what exactly a fetish is:
“An unusually strong liking or need for a particular object or activity, as a way of getting sexual pleasure.”
Guys are not freaks if they get aroused by certain things; it just makes foreplay for men more interesting, and totally fascinating for you.
Whether his fetish is something mild like shoes and feet or something a little on the wild side like balloons, feed that fetish!
He’s going thrilled because you aim to please him, no matter how unique his sexual interests are, and he’s going to grow even more comfortable with his sexuality in the process.
Maybe porn is not usually your thing, or maybe it is but you prefer to catch a sneak peek alone.
Guys are naturally aroused via sight, so porn for him can be foreplay all by itself.
If you want to do something special to enhance foreplay with your partner, consider picking out a sexy video you think he’ll like and watch it together.
Take the opportunity to talk about certain positions you think look like fun or what you think is hot. It can be a real turn-on for both of you.
Oral sex (fellatio) is the epitome of gratifying foreplay for most men.
You may believe you’re already good at giving him just what he likes, but there’s always room for a little creativity with oral sex.
Changing things up can really make this form of foreplay for men even more fun than usual. You could:
Remember, if you’ve used a delay spray like Promescent, give the product time to absorb and then wash him off before you get to work—you don’t want a numbed mouth.
Why not bring your partner in on your self-pleasing endeavors.
It will be a foreplay experience he won’t soon forget, and just having him watch can be a real turn-on for you.
If it’s hard for you to be that open with your body and self-pleasing activities, consider shooting a sexy video while you are alone and gifting your partner with your naughty scenes when he least expects it.
Toys are totally optional here; he’s going to find watching you just as satisfying whether you are using your hands or a fancy gadget.
There are good reasons why the adult toy industry is a multi-billion-dollar industry.
Those sexy gadgets, vibrating concoctions, and rings for his penis make foreplay and sex even more interesting.
If your sex life is lacking and you’re struggling to find the best foreplay for men, add a few toys to the mix.
A few fun sex toys for guys:
Highlight the experience by making sex-toy shopping a couple’s thing.
That way both of you can pick out what you like together.
You’ve got all these big plans—new positions you want to try, new ways to get him excited, and new ways to tease and please, but your partner has an unfortunate issue with ejaculating early.
Studies have found most guys barely make it seven minutes, and guys with premature ejaculation problems may rarely get beyond two.
The answer to premature ejaculation and prolonged foreplay? Delay spray.
For more detailed information on overcoming premature ejaculation, read: Ultimate Guide To Premature Ejaculation by Promescent
Delay sprays like Promescent are a miracle if your partner struggles to hold back.
Promescent has special ingredients that rapidly absorb into the skin and desensitize some of the most sensitive parts of his penis (like the frenulum, glans, and the underside of the shaft).
A little delay spray in the right spots when you begin foreplay will make sure you get through all the fun and teasing you want to deliver without his over excitement causing a climax before you ever get to the best part.
He’ll feel like a true champ because he didn’t ejaculate too soon and lasted long enough to please you.
And, both of you will get the opportunity to enjoy sex to the fullest, including more foreplay.
Foreplay before sex is like the icing on the cake.
This sensual playtime helps build the anticipation for the main event, and foreplay is an opportunity to give and receive pleasure in exciting ways.
Foreplay for men may not always be a necessity like it is for most women, but the thing about providing pleasure is that it can be just as arousing for you.
So, get creative, find a way to lower your inhibitions just a bit, and your sex life will be all the more interesting.
Dr. Laura Berman PhD is an acclaimed relationship expert, award-winning radio host on her show 'Uncovered Radio' and a NY Times best-selling author. Dr. Berman has a doctorate from New York University with an emphasis on human sexuality. She is also a member of AASECT, SSSS, the International Society for the study of Women's Sexual Health and the American Urologic Society.
Absorption Pharmaceuticals LLC (Promescent) has strict informational citing guidelines and relies on peer-reviewed studies, academic or research institutions, medical associations, and medical experts. We attempt to use primary sources and refrain from using tertiary references and only citing trustworthy sources. Each article is reviewed, written, and updated by Medical Professionals or authoritative Experts in a specific, related field of practice. You can learn more about how we ensure our content is accurate and current by reading our editorial policy.
Penn State Staff. 2008 March 31. Good sexual intercourse lasts minutes, not hours, therapists say. Penn State. https://www.psu.edu/news/research/story/good-sexual-intercourse-lasts-minutes-not-hours-therapists-say/#:~:text=The%20average%20therapists'%20responses%20defined,from%2010%20to%2030%20minutes.. Accessed 28 Jan 2022.
Morris L. Sorrells, James L. Snyder, Mark D. Reiss, Christopher Eden, Marilyn F. Milos, Norma Wilcox, Robert S. Van Howe. 2007 March 19. Fine-touch pressure thresholds in the adult penis. BJU International. https://bjui-journals.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/j.1464-410X.2006.06685.x. Accessed 28 Jan 2022.
Collins Dictionary Staff. (n.d). fetish. Collins Dictionary. https://www.collinsdictionary.com/us/dictionary/english/fetish. Accessed 28 Jan 2022.
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