Have you ever heard the saying: "Anything worth doing is worth doing right?"
Well, that's especially true when it comes to sex, but it seems like some guys just never got that memo.
And even though longer sex doesn't necessarily mean better sex, the more time spent having sex increases the likelihood of satisfying sex for you.
So, while there are many ways to increase stamina and delay orgasm, they tend to work best when used in combination with one another.
Quick FAQs
Yes, there are many things from techniques that can be employed such as edging and the squeeze technique. Additionally, there are exercises like Kegels and dietary and lifestyle changes that can also help.
Yes, there are some sex positions that can help guys last longer, such as doggy style and standing. Additionally, changing locations can help men last longer as well, like sex in the shower, for instance.
Yes, there are stamina trainers like the MYHIXEL device that were specifically designed to help men last longer, but there are also couples toys that can help you both get to pleasure town at the same time.
We've put together a list of the 20 most effective and simple methods to help you have longer, more enjoyable sex tonight (and all of the nights hereafter).
1. Have Him Distract himself
During sex, men can get extremely myopic.
For men, the goal is simple; thrust, rinse, repeat until something happens.
But, when his concentration is not maintained, that "something happens" can happen a lot faster than either of you would like.
Basically, the idea here is to think of the least sexy things he can do that will disrupt the focus away from orgasm.
Think of that old sex adage "just think about baseball."
The more his brain is off its game, the less easily he'll orgasm, and the longer sex will last.
Combining this strategy with a change of position or switching gear to focus solely on your partner (with a toy or oral sex, for instance) and he'll be back from the brink rather quickly.
Men who eat unhealthy food simply don't have the stamina to last a long time.
While some studies indicate that men with a bit of padding around the waist do last longer (likely due to more estradiol in fat stores), as a general rule being fit makes you have better stamina.
Getting more vegetables, less processed seed oils and carbs, less sugar, more protein, and higher-quality fats will increase your man's stamina.
Though he might lose the dad bod, he'll live longer and last longer, both of which are great goals to strive to achieve.
3. Decrease sensitivity
Whether or not premature ejaculation is an actual issue in your bedroom, climax control sprays and wipes can be a great addition to any sexual experience.
This, in turn, delays orgasm and can add 3-5 minutes of additional time to intercourse after penetration.
Delay wipes and sprays are safe, medically approved, extensively studied, highly effective, and will provide you with about 30 minutes of desensitization.
Your body will not build up a tolerance, and they can be used multiple times over the course of a night.
In fact, most men using benzocaine wipes find that the effects they provide can actually improve the more you use them.
It's best to apply them conservatively at first, wait 5-10 minutes, and then apply more if necessary.
Most delay wipes and sprays are discreet and portable, too, so you can use them right when they're needed.
They're an excellent tool for lasting longer, especially if you deal with PE.
4. Change of scenery
Like the baseball adage, changing up where you're having sex can actually have a profound impact on your stamina.
This can be as simple as having sex in the kitchen versus the bedroom because navigating different surroundings adds complexity to the act.
More complexity equals less focus on the orgasm, and so you'll last longer.
Additionally, you can take the sex out of the house entirely. Try renting a hotel room for a discreet rendezvous!
Anything to change up how your brain perceives the situation will help you last longer.
5. Consider a penis accessory
We live in a magical age where the penis has its own accessories and can use them to its advantage.
Pro Tip: Another great accessory that can add some excitement and keep you from climaxing too early is a penis sleeve. Check out this article and see if this is something that might be for you.
Penis rings are a fantastic tool for hardening your penis but also increasing how long you last during sex.
They're comfortable, portable, and widely accessible with other add-ons like vibrators.
If I told you I had jewelry for your penis that made you have sex longer and had a vibrator attached, would you assume I was a wizard?
Well, you can freely buy these items right now - so what are you waiting for?
For a lot of guys, masturbating is about efficiency.
You want that dopamine hit and that orgasm, and you want it before the game starts, so there's not a lot of thought given to form or timing.
If you approach masturbating as a way to increase stamina, you can make it work for you.
Bringing in a stamina trainer like the MYHIXEL is a great way to increase your staying power.
App-interfaced, warming, and vibrating, you'll not just have fun with the MYHIXEL; it's also educational.
Well, not really educational, but it can help you last up to 7x longer in bed if you practice with it regularly.
Again, no matter how you masturbate, make it work for you by practicing resisting orgasm.
It's a great way to turn a fun pastime into a real workout.
8. Try these sex positions
If you're used to missionary, chances are good it's one of the fastest paths to orgasm.
Like we talked about with changing the scenery, the familiar makes it easier to get off quickly.
Switching up sexual positions is not only fun for both of you; it can delay him from reaching orgasm by throwing off his mental game.
Doggy - while this position feels incredible, if you're not used to it, it could have a delaying effect on orgasm. That said, it's one of the more favorite positions for a reason.
Standing - this is a much harder position to achieve orgasm in, where both partners are standing. Since it takes so much control to stay focused and upright, it can make everything hotter while making it harder to get off.
Shower sex - so everyone thinks they like shower sex, but it can be extremely difficult to not only do but to actually achieve orgasm here. Perfect for extremely hot sex, and also perfect for preventing him from getting off too quickly. After a bit, move it to the bedroom and really get things going.
9. Use a condom
Condoms don't feel great, and in this case, that's the point.
Even men in a monogamous relationship choose to use condoms because the damn things make sex simply take longer.
The reduction in sensitivity that sucks 99% of the time can actually be a good thing if you want to last longer in bed.
So while they're extremely important for a variety of reasons, including preventing pregnancy and STIs, you can look at them as a tool, too.
With high-quality condoms, you can trust them to do the job in every sense of the word.
10. Try Edging
Edging is the practice of bringing yourself near to orgasm but then stopping just short. It not only will help you last longer, but the resulting orgasm is also incredible.
Edging can be done with masturbation to get a feel for the practice, but during sex, it's especially helpful.
11. More foreplay
If you're suffering from what is known as the orgasm gap where he gets off, but you don't, it can be pretty frustrating.
Good sex is all about communication and technique, and by adding some foreplay into the mix he can help get you closer to the finish line.
Pro Tip: Check out this article on foreplay tips for men to give him some ideas that will help close that gap.
12. Pregame masturbation
There's an old Playboy comic where a guy hires a sex worker and then masturbates after they agree on a price.
She asks him why and he says, "I'm not giving you the easy one." Raunchy 80s humor aside, there is truth to this.
The refractory period after orgasm makes the next orgasm after the initial one takes longer.
This can help add time to your performance and make sex last longer. Consider handling your business before you handle business.
13. Have your partner use a toy on you
If you're worried about things moving too quickly, consider bringing a toy into the mix.
By using a vibrator or something similar, you can keep the good times going while giving your man a chance to calm down.
This way, you will continue to move towards orgasm, but he can pump the brakes a bit.
Like diet, being physically fit can have a profound impact on your staying power.
Get your guy up and moving as much as possible. If you can, join a gym together, or simply get him to go on runs with you.
The longer he lasts on the pavement, the longer he will be able to last in bed or wherever the mood strikes you.
Additionally, anything that improves blood flow can help make erections stronger and last longer.
Better blood flow to the penis can also mean better orgasms for him, as well. It's absolutely worth spending 30 minutes each day exercising.
Just maybe wait until you get home to jump on each other if you get fired up during a jog.
15. Strengthen the pelvic floor
Kegels aren't just for people with bladder control issues.
Pelvic floor exercises like Kegels improve your ability to control the flow of semen, maintain composure and delay orgasm.
The extra benefit is that they make orgasms themselves feel even better when they do occur.
Yoga and Pilates can help as well, as they directly affect abdominal muscles that are used during sex.
Anything that strengthens and improves that region of your body can help provide control during sex, delay orgasm, and make everything feel more powerful.
16. Medications
Medications that help with ED can also help you last longer and recover more quickly after sex.
They're generally safe and well-tolerated, so ask your doctor what could work best for a little extra help during sex sessions.
Cialis - A vasodilator, Cialis is one of the more popular medications in this category and can help you stay harder for longer.
Additionally, it can delay orgasm and make you spring back more quickly afterward.
Viagra - Like Cialis, this medication helps you achieve and maintain an erection for longer.
It can also make it easier for you to perform again quickly, and since medications like these tend to last for four hours on average, you can go for quite a long time.
17. Slow and steady wins the race
If you simply slow down your pace, you can end up second in the race, which is what we want here in many cases.
If you feel yourself getting closer to orgasm, simply change it up.
This is a perfect time to switch positions, think about baseball, or any other number of mindset changes.
Some of the best sex comes from delaying climax and instead focusing on connecting with your partner.
One of the easiest ways to last longer during sex is to simply enjoy the act, not the conclusion.
18. Take advantage of the refractory period
This part is for him: If you orgasm too quickly, take the time before you're ready again to focus on your partner.
Make sure their needs are met well, and beyond the time it takes for you to get ready for round 2.
Oral sex, toys, and digital stimulation are all good ways to ensure everyone ends up happy and fulfilled.
Use your best oral sex techniques to make sure your partner's needs are met, and consider focusing on something other than sex during this time.
While the refractory period does reduce sensitivity, reducing arousal at the moment can help increase staying power as well.
19. Change positions often
Switch it up with new positions, and you'll find the downtime between really helps reset his orgasm clock.
Bonus points if the new positions are more elaborate and require him to go from laying to standing, and vice-versa.
This will dramatically reduce the likelihood of a quick orgasm.
Ask your partner's advice about what positions help him last the longest.
As we said before, communication is a great way to help men last longer in bed and provide great sex for both people.
20. Speak frankly about sexual performance anxiety
Getting fears out on the table beforehand helps alleviate some of the sexual anxiety that can cause men to climax too soon.
Dr. Yafi is Associate Professor of Urology, Chief of Men’s Health and Reconstructive Urology, Director of Men’s Health and Newport Urology at the University of California, Irvine. His practice specializes in men’s health, erectile dysfunction, hypogonadism, Peyronie’s disease, prosthetic surgery, male voiding dysfunction and male infertility. Dr. Yafi has over 150 peer-reviewed publications and book chapters. He is the current Chair of the SMSNA scientific committee and co-Chair of the ISSM Consultations and Guidelines committee. Dr. Yafi earned his medical degree from the American University of Beirut, then completed his internship in General Surgery at the Mayo Clinic, his residency in Urology at McGill University in Montreal, Quebec and his fellowship in Andrology, Sexual Medicine and Prosthetic Urology at Tulane University.
Sources:
Absorption Pharmaceuticals LLC (Promescent) has strict informational citing guidelines and relies on peer-reviewed studies, academic or research institutions, medical associations, and medical experts. We attempt to use primary sources and refrain from using tertiary references and only citing trustworthy sources. Each article is reviewed, written, and updated by Medical Professionals or authoritative Experts in a specific, related field of practice. You can find out more about how we ensure our content is accurate and current by reading our editorial policy.
Kirsten Weir. 2019 February. CE Corner: Sex therapy for the 21st century: Five emerging directions. American Psychological Association. https://www.apa.org/monitor/2019/02/cover-ce-corner
Rex A Hess. 2003 July 09. Estrogen in the adult male reproductive tract: A review. National Center for Biotechnology Information. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC179885/
The Content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.
