If you've been curious about rimming and want to know all the facts, then you've come to the right place.
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Much like people’s other sex organs, anuses contain one of the highest concentrations of nerve endings, making them an often under-explored area that’s ripe for giving and receiving pleasure.
So, really, it's no wonder that a lot of people, regardless of gender, like a little (or a lot) of backdoor play during sex.
In a recent study of anal sex involving over 12,000 heterosexual survey participants, roughly a third reported having had anal sex in the last year, and nearly the same amount reported anal sex during their most recent sexual encounter.
Analingus (rimming) is one of the more common forms of non-penetrative anal stimulation.
No, sexuality has nothing to do with giving or receiving a rim job.
Not at all rimming can just be enjoyed completely by itself or as foreplay.
No, you do not have to at all. However, it will potentially clean away any bacteria and will probably make you feel more comfortable with having it licked
As with any sexual act there are risks involved. However, if you take the proper precautions and make sure you properly clean yourself, then the risks should be minimal.
Even though a lot of people don't quite know a lot about oral-anal sex, analingus is a sex act worth trying if you and your partner feel comfortable about the idea.
So, what exactly is rimming, how does a rim job work, and what are some tips to enhance anal pleasure?
Let's explore these questions and much more in this comprehensive guide about analingus.
Analingus is essentially anal oral sex, using your tongue, lips, and mouth to deliver pleasurable sensations to your partner’s anus.
While analingus is the technical term, you've probably heard this act called by its less-formal names, such as:
Rimming is usually non-invasive, more of a surface-level activity than profound anal exploration.
In other words, you're not really deep-diving into your partner’s anus with your tongue.
Instead, a rim job tends to involve kissing, licking, and/or even a bit of sucking or nibbling on and around their anus.
If you're into going all-in and pushing through with your tongue, that's up to you and your partner.
Rim jobs aren’t just a means to an end (the end being penetrative anal sex).
You can enjoy oral-anal pleasure just by stimulating the many nerve endings around your partner’s anus, and even incorporate rimming while using your hands to play with your partner’s genitals at the same time for an extra mind-blowing experience.
As noted earlier, the anus has a highly concentrated collection of nerves.
So, during analingus, you will feel pretty much every little flick or tap of your partner’s tongue.
For people who enjoy anal stimulation, these light, almost-teasing sensations can be especially pleasurable.
Of course, there are no written rules stating analingus has to be only light sensations, but this is a good place to start when you begin your rimming explorations.
If you haven’t had a lot of experience with anal play yet, you can play around a little on your own and see how it feels and if you enjoy it.
Always use lubricant during anal play, especially if penetration is involved; not only does it make every sensation more pleasurable, but lube will also reduce any possibility of micro-tears to the very sensitive area.
Pro tip: Promescent makes a great line of personal lubricants that are safe for anal play.
Gently rub around your anus using your lubed-up fingers or a lube-soaked sex toy designed for butt play.
Stimulate around your anus and see how it feels, experimenting with pressure, speed, and so forth.
The more you know about your own body, the better you can communicate what feels good to your partner.
Plus, using lube when you’re exploring anal stimulation on your own will better emulate the way a tongue would feel during analingus: soft, warm, and wet.
Keep in mind that not everyone enjoys anal stimulation, whether rimming or anal sex, so make sure to communicate with your partner so that you’re both on the same page before you start to play.
Whether you’re with a new partner or you’re in a long-term relationship, experimenting with new things sexually should always start with a conversation.
You can try by asking your partner if they want to try something new in bed, or ask them if they’ve ever experienced or thought about trying butt stuff before.
Maybe share one of your own experiences with it if you have one, or tell them you discovered you enjoy anal play while you were masturbating the other day.
Like anything else when it comes to any type of sex, not everyone is comfortable with either giving or receiving in the backdoor department.
When you bring up rimming, remember:
In any case, rimming is not something to spring on someone in the heat of the moment — whether you're just trying to please your partner or asking them for analingus.
Just like for any kind of sexual play, consent is a must. So it’s best to chat about it before you start playing together.
To keep her relaxed, you want to make sure she’s in a comfortable position, so she can focus just on the pleasure she’s receiving.
When giving her a rim job, you can try some of these positions:
If you’re both new to rimming, you may want to try a few positions to find the most comfortable angle.
Ask her what feels good, if she needs more pillows, or wants to change positions after a while.
Just remember, the more relaxed and comfortable she is, the more she’ll be able to enjoy the experience.
Take your time!
Once she’s in a comfortable position, avoid the temptation to focus on her anus right away.
If her vulva is swollen and engorged, she’ll feel anything you do around her anus even more intensely.
Build up the anticipation and arousal by using your hot breath to warm up and tease her anus, kissing and licking around her anus, thighs, and cheeks.
You can also try running your fingers over her thighs and butt, changing up the sensations, and keeping her guessing, while tickling and lightly stroking her sensitive skin.
Just remember, once your mouth has touched her anus, don't move your mouth back to her vulva, and don’t go back and forth between them.
Any bacteria picked up during analingus may lead to major risks of vaginal infections for her.
As you explore analingus with her, pay attention to how she responds to the feeling, pressure, and speed of your mouth, lips, and tongue.
Not all women are vocal, but some things that might indicate she’s enjoying the intensity and types of motions would be moaning, breathing faster or more deeply, and squirming her lower body closer towards your mouth.
If you’re not sure, take little breaks (replace your mouth with your fingers to keep the stimulation going) and ask her if she likes what you’re doing, if she wants you to do more or less of that, a different area or pressure, etc.
Here are some rim job tongue motions you can try:
Remember: Start out with light, non-intense motions, and assess her enjoyment before gradually building up to faster or more intense stimulation.
You must avoid passing your tongue or fingers between her anus and her vulva and vagina.
However, if you are only using your mouth to deliver tongue-to-anal pleasure, you can still use clean hands or a vibrator to stimulate her vulva and vagina.
Pro Tip: Promescent has a great line of premium adult sex toys to help you take your analingus game to the next level.
For example, as you’re using your mouth for rimming, use a vibrator to massage her clitoris.
Or, if she wants penetration, slide your lubed-up fingers or a sex toy into her vagina to massage her G-spot at the same time.
The combination of anal stimulation mixed with vaginal penetration and vulva play can be especially pleasurable for a lot of women.
For some men, rimming can be a little intimidating at first, so you’ll want him to be as relaxed as possible.
If you're giving a rim job to an inexperienced guy, getting him excited first can be a good way to make the experience more enjoyable.
You may consider:
Once he’s fully aroused, use your hands to encourage him to get in the right position for butt play.
The goal is to make sure he’s feeling relaxed and ready to receive his rim job while also giving you open and easy access to his anus.
A good comfortable position for him may be lying on his back on a few pillows to elevate his hips, with his knees and hips fully spread apart and slightly pulled upward toward his chest.
You can also try other positions as well, such as him on all fours with his legs slightly spread in front of you, with you kneeling behind him, and your mouth between his spread cheeks.
This position can also give you open access to reach through between his legs and play with his penis and testicles while using your tongue on his anus.
Instead of just diving right in, take your time getting to his anus. Use your fingers to gently brush around and against the area to tease him.
Do some gentle licking, sucking, or kissing on his perineum and cheeks.
If you're using lube, which is always recommended, drizzle a bit extra on your fingers and work your way gently down to his anus as you kiss or nibble elsewhere.
First, flick your tongue around his anus without touching it directly. As he grows more excited and relaxed, get closer to his anus.
You can try:
As you work, watch how his body responds and pay attention to what he seems to enjoy the most.
Ask him if he’s enjoying the pressure, speed, positioning of your tongue and mouth and if he wants you to do anything differently.
You’ll eventually get familiar with what sensations are bringing him the most erotic pleasure.
As you work your magic with your tongue around his butthole, get your hands involved to give him even more pleasure in the process.
If he’s lying in the aforementioned position, with you kneeling between his thighs, you're in the perfect position to reach up and:
Because he is not likely to have an adverse reaction if you’re traveling to and from his anus to his penis (he’s not at risk of vaginal infections like women are), you’re free to switch things up as needed and wanted.
For example, you could give all your attention to his penis, switch to his anus, play with his testicles, and then go back to his penis.
Just remember to give him a good wipe-down before transitioning to penetrative vaginal sex.
As fun as analingus can be for people who are open to the idea, here are a few pointers to keep things fun, pleasurable, and safe for everyone.
Getting all cleaned up before a rimming endeavor is important for safety reasons, and will also make you feel more at ease with someone getting up close and personal with your butt.
Some elements and organisms that can be hanging out around the bootyhole can cause illness if ingested — which is definitely not what you want.
The anus is a tunnel for eliminating digested food, but also bacteria like E. Coli and any parasites that may be in the digestive tract.
To get everything sparkling clean before anal-oral, clean up the area with soap and water.
If you don’t have a chance to hop in the shower right beforehand, tidy up with these convenient Promescent Before and After Wipes, which are pH-balanced wipes safe for intimate areas.
Also, on the cleanliness note, enemas can be a good way to get everything clean internally before anal play.
Of course, if you're not planning on entry or any kind of anal penetration, an enema is probably not necessary, unless it makes you feel more comfortable.
Pretty much everyone grows in-between-the-cheeks hair. So, landscaping around your a-hole before salad tossing can be something to consider, but it’s not a necessity.
Some people prefer giving analingus when the bum is bare, and some report the act feels more intense and stimulating without hair in the way.
Plus, cleaning up the area before playing can be a little easier if the area is not wild and hairy.
Nevertheless, shaving around the delicate skin can bring about a few risks of razor burn, ingrown hairs, and skin infection.
So, if you do decide to do some trimming before the act, give your body a little time to heal after the work is done.
Even though analingus involves mouth to anus and not necessarily mouth to genitals, STIs and STDs are just as much a risk.
Most STIs and STDs can be transmitted via contact with the mouth, such as:
Dental dams or tongue condoms are a good way to thwart your risks during rimming.
You can also create makeshift dental dams by cutting open a condom and laying it flat against the anus.
Simply snip off the tip and the elastic ring at the base and cut lengthwise along the shaft to create a flat, rectangular layer of protection.
You can also try using a surgical glove and cutting that open lengthwise to create a larger surface area for play.
Do not use plastic wrap: it can be slightly porous, breaks more easily, and may not offer adequate STI and STD protection.
While not a must unless you're doing anal entry, lube can be an amazing enhancement to rimming (and any kinds of sexual play) to give the receiver a more slippery, sexy sensation.
For one, keeping everything nice and wet will prevent your tongue from getting dry in the process. You can’t go wrong with a basic water-based lubricant.
Two, flavored lubes can make the experience more enjoyable for the rimmer.
Before you try flavored lube, make sure to ask your partner if they have any allergies, as these types of lube might have flavoring or perfumes in them that can cause an adverse reaction.
There can be times when it's best to skip fun around the bum.
Shelf the idea if the receiver is dealing with:
As for the rim job giver, any issue related to the mouth should mean waiting.
A few reasons to avoid delivering a rim job would include:
As with any other kinds of sexual play, if either of you is currently experiencing an STI or STD, it’s imperative to communicate that to your partner so you can discuss the potential risks and ensure you’re both adequately protecting yourselves (or waiting until the infection is cleared and it’s safe to play again).
Always treat analingus as a standalone act and an end to itself.
Don't just expect your partner to be cool with anal penetration with your fingers or otherwise just because they're up for some ass licking.
Also, contrary to the popular misconception that men who enjoy butt stuff are gay, keep in mind that everyone of every gender has a butt and can experience pleasure with it.
The sexual acts you enjoy don’t translate to your sexual orientation; many heterosexual men enjoy sexual exploration with their female partners.
And it bears repeating that there is absolutely nothing shameful about any kind of sexual orientation, gay, bisexual, or otherwise.
The bottom (pun intended) line is this: if you want to experiment with your butt, then go for it!
Do a lot of people partake in analingus? More than you would probably ever guess.
The sex act often gets misconstrued in the movies as something most people don't do or something to poke fun at, but anal play is far more common and enjoyable than most people talk about.
Just remember:
So, if you're considering salad tossing your partner or getting your own salad tossed, get the discussion started.
With a good cleaning beforehand, mindfulness of the risks involved, and some practice and communication, rimming can enhance your sexual repertoire and add another level of pleasure to your sex life.
Lexi Sylver is the Montreal-based erotica author of "Mating Season" and "All the Queen’s Men". She is also the producer and host of "Cocktails and Erotic Tales" as well as her "Swinging 101" webinar series. As an entrepreneur, advocate, educator, podcaster, public speaker and coach for ethical non-monogamy and sexual empowerment, she regularly contributes articles about sexuality and relationships to ASN Lifestyle Magazine, SDC.com and her personal blog, among other places. Her mission is to promote empowerment and education by guiding you to shamelessly explore your sexuality. Get Lexual at lexisylver.com
Absorption Pharmaceuticals LLC (Promescent) has strict informational citing guidelines and relies on peer-reviewed studies, academic or research institutions, medical associations, and medical experts. We attempt to use primary sources and refrain from using tertiary references and only citing trustworthy sources. Each article is reviewed, written, and updated by Medical Professionals or authoritative Experts in a specific, related field of practice. You can find out more about how we ensure our content is accurate and current by reading our editorial policy.
Kristen L. Hess, Elizabeth DiNenno, Catlainn Sionean, Wade Ivy, Gabriela Paz-Bailey, and The NHBS Study Group. 2016 Dec; 20(12): 2966–2975. Prevalence and Correlates of Heterosexual Anal Intercourse among Men and Women, 20 U.S. Cities. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4949144/. Accessed 29 Jan 2022.
Jill Seladi-Schulman, Ph.D., Ann Pietrangelo. 2021 December 23. Everything You Need to Know About E. Coli Infection. Healthline. https://www.healthline.com/health/e-coli-infection. Accessed 29 Jan 2022
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