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How to Perform the Venus Butterfly Technique, Tips and Guidelines

The Promescent Team
Hands on, practical experience – this is our expertise

by The Promescent Team 8 min read

The venus butterfly may sound like some kind of fancy winged insect, but this is the oral sex technique that every man should know.


This one foreplay technique could have her enjoying repeat orgasms, and, even more importantly, your mastery at the venus butterfly technique could have you labeled as a downtown superhero with a lot of pleasure to give.

Foreplay is a bit like the pregame show that gets the crowd riled up and excited for what's to come.

You would never expect to go to a basketball game in the big leagues and see them jump right into shooting hoops. So, you should not expect your female partner to be all ready for the big game without a little excitement-inducing fun pre-game.

Hint: You can increase clitoral pleasure by using our Female Arousal Gel.

Boosting your foreplay game is all about educating yourself and honing your skills, especially when it comes to using the right oral sex technique on your female partner.

The venus butterfly method may just be the skill you need to push you from mediocre to What-a-Man in nothing flat.

Quick FAQs

This technique is performed on women during oral and a classic favorite among partners looking to take their intimacy to new heights.

There are 7 steps to the technique and we suggest you read below for more in-depth information, however, the basics are; start slow, start tongue action, reveal the clitoris, pause, start again, find the g-spot, allow het to finish.

Men can expect more confidence in their love making because they will be able to fully satisfy their partner every time.

Yes, there are a plethora of oral techniques a man can try. You can also try adding toys or sexual enhancers like Promescent Delay Spray to the routine for longer lasting pleasure.

What is the Venus Butterfly Technique?

Not to be confused with a highly popular (and fun!) sex toy with the same name, the venus butterfly technique is a sexual method that involves both cunnilingus (fancy name for oral sex for her) and simultaneous stimulation with the fingers.

In other words, you are pleasing her both inside (G-spot) and out (clitoris) almost at the same time.

Two simultaneous techniques venus butterflyEven though not officially given as part of famed tantric sex, the venus butterfly method does involve pointedly working to push your partner to orgasm and then backing off, slowing down, and then proceeding.

This method is known as edging. Tantric sex tends to involve the same idea.

Using the "edging" technique to please a female can make her orgasms last longer and feel more intense than usual.

Typically, the goal is to get as close to making her climax as possible, backing off and waiting 30 seconds or so, and then proceeding.

How to Do the Venus Butterfly Technique

This is one oral sex move you don't want to get wrong, and it's not as complicated as it may sound.

The general technique should go as follows.

1. Start Slow and Gentle – to Get Her in the Mood

Work your way into oral stimulation by rubbing, caressing, and kissing her body.

Use soft kisses and your tongue to gently tease her inner thighs as you close in on her vagina.

Average arousal time for women

Remember, it takes about 10 minutes for a woman to reach peak arousal.

You don't have to use up all 10, but at least shoot for 5 to 7.

2. Time for the Tongue, but Don't Dive in Just Yet

You've taken your time, built anticipation, and heightened her arousal, so it's time for some tongue action.

Start slow and use light flicks of the tongue around her labia, vulva, and clitoral hood, avoiding the clitoris at first.

3. Reveal the Prize— the Clitoris

Use your fingers to gently pull back her clitoral hood.

When done properly, the clitoris will be standing there revealed and vulnerable like a small, fleshy little pearl.

Using your tongue, stimulate her clit with a combination of short flicks and long strokes.

If needed, you can also use your fingers to gently tease the clit or pull out a gentle vibrator to do the same.

Venus butterfly step 3 using your fingers

Think of a woman having a sexual pleasure scale between 1 and 10 with 10 being full-on, no-stopping-it, orgasm.

Your goal at this stage is to take her to about an 8, which should be right there at the proverbial edge but far enough from the big O to still pull back.

4. Step Away From the Clitoris

If you get her to an 8 and you don't step away from the clitoris, she's going to hit the next level, 9.

Nine is a fickle and slippery slope, you don't want to be there.

One wrong move and she's going to have a total clitoral orgasm before you're even halfway done with the butterfly technique because she's slipped into level 10.

Venus butterfly step 4 the cool down

What should you be doing at this point? You can:

  • Stimulate her other vagina areas with your tongue, external only
  • Gently stroke either side of the vulva with a vibrator
  • Lightly circle your fingers around her opening

Be super gentle during this "cool down." Your goal is to lower her pleasure/arousal level by at least a few points.

5. Back to the Clit

Yes, you're returning to that sweet little pearl, but you have to tread ever-so-lightly. Her arousal levels will likely climb a little faster than the first go-round.

Short and long strokes. Gentle flickers, as soft as taps from butterfly wings.

She's probably going to be back up to an 8, or even at a 9, rather quickly.

So stay alert in the process and tuned-in to what her noises and movements are telling you.

6. Slip in Fingers and Find the G-spot

When she hits that spot just at the edge of an orgasm but not quite over-the-top just yet, slip two fingers inside of her.

Your palm should be up so that your fingers can easily stroke her G-spot.

Fingering demonstration using fruit

The G-spot should be a familiar place, if not, find it. You'll never regret doing so.

Remember, this little spot of tissue will be slightly raised and not as silky as the rest of her inner walls. Some even claim it feels a bit wrinkly like running the tip of your finger across a walnut.

Tap the G-spot lightly with your fingers, and then return to stroking her clit with your tongue at the same time. If you're doing this right, she's going to reach an orgasm pretty fast, and it's going to be a big one, a double-whammy, so to speak.

7. Cup Her Vagina with Your Hand

Sounds strange, right?

This is actually one of those profound moves that guys rarely know to do, but it's oh-so-worth-it for her.

Gently cupping your hand over her clit, vulva, and vaginal opening immediately after she cums is soothing and pleasurable.

As the waves of orgasms continue to reverberate through all her sensitive parts, you are holding the warmth of your hand against her.

Some even call it holding the sexual energy in.

Things To Consider When Trying the Venus Butterfly Method

Perfecting the venus butterfly technique can take a little concentration, some controlled coordination, and maybe even a bit of practice.

Even if it takes a few tries, this is one oral sex technique well worth the effort.

Here are a few things to keep in mind.

Getting the Positioning Right to Try the Venus Butterfly

The positioning while trying the venus butterfly technique is important for two reasons:

  1. You are going down for longer than usual, so you don't want your neck in a bind.
  2. You need open access to pretty much all parts of her genitalia, including her clit and G-spot.

Position is key to performing the venus butterfly

She should be reclined, face-up, legs spread comfortably.

But, it can be helpful if her bottom half is elevated so you don't have to bend, so try propping her up with a few pillows beneath her.

You can also try positioning her at the edge of the bed with her legs draped across your shoulders with you on the floor.

Again, this puts you in the proper position and prevents having to bend your neck awkwardly.

Using the Hand and Tongue During the Venus Butterfly Method

Using your hand and tongue at the same time and doing two totally different actions with each can be a challenge if you don't have the best coordination.

While totally different, you may be thinking about how hard it is for you to rub your belly and pat the top of your head.

Don't feel intimidated—there are some tips and tricks to making thevenus butterfly work just the same.

Happy couple after finishing the venus butterfly technique

Try using similar stroking motions with your hand and tongue when using both at once. For example, if tapping slightly with fingertips internally, repeat the motion with your tongue.

You can use a G-spot vibrator for internal stimulation just the same as you can use your fingers. This may be easier for some less-coordinated men.

When you're using both hands and tongue, try slipping your two middle fingers inside of her, curved in a hook position toward you.

Rest your other fingers on either side of her vulva. In this position, even the slightest movement of your inserted fingers are stroking her G-spot.

So you don't have to do much moving to deliver pleasure and you'll still have enough coordination to focus on tongue work.

What to Expect When You Achieve the Venus Butterfly Technique

Orgasms, lots of orgasms, of course!

Seriously, the venus butterfly technique is an awesome thing to try if your partner has a hard time getting to the big bang.

And, it's almost a surefire way to make her cum during oral sex. (Totally selfless and sexy because it's all about her.)

Woman orgasming from receiving the venus butterfly technique

If done properly, she's going to experience the mind-blowing bliss of an internal (G-spot) and external (clitoral) orgasm at the same time.

For some women, the collaboration can cause multiple waves of orgasms, which is referred to as—you guessed it—thevenus butterfly.

Tips for Success and Takeaways

Tips to remember:

  • Open communication can help guide you; let her tell you where she is on the pleasure scale
  • Practice makes perfect—it can take a few times to get everything to happen just right
  • Remember, stimulate to almost the brink of no return, back off, go again

The venus butterfly technique became pretty-much famous in the 1980s when it was featured in a book suitably titled: The One Hour Orgasm: How to Learn the Amazing "Venus Butterfly" Technique.

The oral sex technique even made its way to prime-time TV on a few occasions.

No doubt, your female partner is going to be appreciative of your sexual creativity just for trying, but if you actually make it work, she may just be left asking for that fancy butterfly move on a regular basis.

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    The Promescent Team
    The Promescent Team

    Our team has over a decade of experience in the sexual wellness field and are experts in sexual dysfunctions, like premature ejaculation. We help couples and individuals better understand treatment options available for different types of sexual needs and educate the public on all things related to intimacy. All of our authored content is medically reviewed for accuracy and reliability.


    Absorption Pharmaceuticals LLC (Promescent) has strict informational citing guidelines and relies on peer-reviewed studies, academic or research institutions, medical associations, and medical experts. We attempt to use primary sources and refrain from using tertiary references and only citing trustworthy sources. Each article is reviewed, written, and updated by Medical Professionals or authoritative Experts in a specific, related field of practice. You can learn more about how we ensure our content is accurate and current by reading our editorial policy.

    • Wikipedia contributors. “Venus Butterfly.” Wikipedia, Wikipedia, 4 Nov. 2021,

    The Content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.