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How To Keep From Cumming Too Early

Have you ever wondered how to keep from cumming? We've gathered this list of tips and tricks to help you stop premature ejaculation.

Dr. Wayne Hellstrom
Board Certified Professor of Urology

by Dr. Wayne Hellstrom Last updated 03/23/2022

Your partner's hot and ready, your erection is rock hard, and you have every intention of making this the best sex ever.

Sounds like a good plan!

Unfortunately, everything is over before it ever really gets started because you ejaculate too quickly. 

Worse yet, your partner's barely even gotten started—her orgasm’s still looming way off in the distance—and your erection is quickly fading.

Premature ejaculation (PE) could be to blame for all this, whether you have a severe issue or just an occasional problem.

Let's take a look at how you can delay ejaculation with the help of medications, behavioral techniques, lidocaine sprays, and more.

Quick FAQs

According to the National Library of Medicine the average intravaginal ejaculation latency time is 5.5 minutes.

Yes, selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) are effective at treating premature ejaculation, but require a prescription. You can also try a delay spray like Promescent to which is a clinically proven treatment option to delay ejaculation.

Yes, there are several things like Kegel exercise, the edging technique, and the start stop-method, just to name a few.

So, How Exactly Can I keep from Cumming?

To treat premature ejaculation, medical professionals use everything from medicine to therapy.

But, there are many ways you can increase your time to ejaculation on your own.

Some of the more popular methods include:

  • Exercises
  • Special techniques
  • Anesthetic sprays or creams

How long should it take for me to cum?

How to keep from cumming in under 5 minutesOn average, it takes a man 5.5 minutes to reach climax.If you're dealing with premature ejaculation, your ejaculation time can be far lower—as low as less than a minute.

And, even if you are not necessarily dealing with diagnosable premature ejaculation, you may still be cumming too fast to please your partner.

Women tend to climax at a much slower pace than men. This is called the "Orgasm Gap".

Are there medications That Can help with PE?

Initially, most medical providers will recommend particular techniques and exercises to help with premature ejaculation, but if those don’t work, there are drugs available that can help.

Things like selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) are one of the most commonly prescribed types of medications to treat premature ejaculation, even though this class of drugs is most often used to treat depression.

A few SSRI medicines you may be prescribed include:

  • Citalopram (Celexa)
  • Escitalopram (Lexapro)
  • Fluoxetine (Prozac)
  • Paroxetine (Paxil, Pexeva)
  • Sertraline (Zoloft)

Dapoxetine is another SSRI, but one specifically designed to help people who have been diagnosed with premature ejaculation.

How selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors work

SSRIs can be prescribed for use on-demand (within a few hours before sex) or regularly. 

Some medicines may even take a week or two before you see any results.

Some studies suggest that SSRIs seem to help delay ejaculation by interfering with neurotransmission in the brain.

Even though the penis is being stimulated, how the brain processes those sensations or how fast those sensations are processed changes.Risks or side effects of SSRIsRisk of using SSRIs to keep from cummingSSRI drugs for treating premature ejaculation are not a first-line, go-to option for treatment because of the fact that they can be related to so many side effects.Common side effects of taking SSRIs include:

  • Vomiting, nausea, or diarrhea
  • Headache or dizziness
  • Dry mouth
  • Drowsiness
  • Agitation or restlessness
  • Appetite changes

Ironically, SSRIs are readily recognized for causing sexual dysfunction, especially when it comes to keeping an erection and causing erectile dysfunction.

Bottom line, if you can find an alternative to SSRIs, you’re probably better off doing so.

And luckily we've got some great ones below.

Tips and techniques to keep you from cumming too quickly

If premature ejaculation is something getting in the way of your sexual performance, your enhanced sex life could be just a few changes away.

You can delay ejaculation in a lot of creative ways on your own.

1. Try Delay Sprays or Wipes

Using a delay spray to keep from cumming

One of the most popular ways to deter premature ejaculation is by using a product that lowers sensitivity levels, so you keep from cumming.

Delay sprays and wipes contain numbing agents like lidocaine or benzocaine that affect the sensitive nerves in the penis.How to use delay spray to keep from cummingWith either a wipe or a spray, you simply:

  1. Apply spray to the sensitive parts of the penis, such as the underside of the head and shaft.
  2. Wait a few minutes for the solution to absorb and kick in
  3. Enjoy!

Once absorbed, you can enjoy sexual intercourse without the worry of getting overstimulated and cumming too soon.

Products like these to help with premature ejaculation have an excellent reputation, but some brands are better known and better medically reviewed than others.

Promescent Delay Wipes and Promescent Delay Spray are two good examples.

Promescent products are made with rapid-absorption technology, which means you can spray or wipe, wait just a few minutes, and not worry about transferring the desensitization to your partner.

When used effectively, both delay wipes and delay sprays can enhance your time to ejaculation by a few minutes or more.

2. Do Kegels

Doctors will commonly recommend pelvic floor muscle exercises (a.k.a. Kegels) for individuals who suffer from premature ejaculation.

In theory, if you have weaker pelvic floor muscles, this may lead to premature ejaculation because you don't have the same level of control during sex.

Your pelvic floor muscles are the muscles you use when you’re trying to stop urinating.

So, when you urinate, try to figure out what muscles it requires to interrupt your flow.

Once you have found the pelvic floor muscles, you can do simple, repetitive exercises to strengthen them.

Working out pelvic floor muscle looks something like this:

  1. Flex or hold the muscles tight for about three seconds, followed by a three-second resting period
  2. Focus on how it feels to tighten the muscles and your breathing
  3. Repeat the strengthening process in sets (e.g., sets of ten reps)

You can work your pelvic floor muscles in just about any position, including lying down, sitting, or even standing up.

After some training, you can hold the flex for longer or work in more repetitions.

The stronger you get, the more control you may find over premature ejaculation.

3. Try Edging

Edging to keep from cumming

The edging method, commonly referred to as the stop/start technique, is a straightforward way to help with premature ejaculation.

The basic concept of stop/start is to stop when you feel the urge to cum, wait for that phase of excitement to wane, and then start back up.

You are essentially enjoying stimulation right to the "edge" of cumming—before there is no turning back—and stopping.

Pro Tip: Another great way to increase stamina is with the MYHIXEL male stamina trainer. This app-enabled device can improve your stamina in as little as eight weeks.

The key with edging is to figure out your point of no return, which is not something every man naturally recognizes, so you may need a little practice before actually trying the technique with a partner.

Practicing while you masturbate can help.

  1. Stop/start looks something like this:
  2. Start stimulating
  3. Build up to climax
  4. Stop before you climax
  5. Wait and recharge
  6. Repeat

Once you're capable of stopping and starting several times, introduce this technique during sex with a partner.

Let them know what you're doing so they can be involved. They’ll likely be happy to hear that you’ve been practicing.

4. The squeeze method

The squeeze method for premature ejaculation combines the stop/start method and squeezing the head of the penis before ejaculation occurs.

The process involves sexual activity until you feel you are about to cum, stopping, and then firmly squeezing the head of the penis where it meets the shaft (frenulum) until the urge to orgasm passes.

Your erection may even start to subside. You can then get back to penetration and repeat the process as needed.

The beauty of the squeeze technique is that you can do it as much as you want, and you can even get your partner involved in the process.

Plus, some men eventually learn how to control when they ejaculate after practicing the squeeze method for some time—they may not have to squeeze at all.

5. Change your diet

Change your diet to help keep from cumming

Certain nutrients are equally necessary for good sexual health. Some studies even suggest that zinc and magnesium may help with premature ejaculation.

To get zinc and magnesium into your diet to help treat premature ejaculation, you can take a supplement like VitaFLUX, but you should also consider adding foods like:

  • Wheat germ
  • Sesame seeds
  • Dark chocolate
  • Garlic
  • Peas
  • Kidney beans
  • Soybeans
  • Oysters
  • Yogurt

While diet alone may not delay time-to-ejaculation significantly, this can be an important step in the right direction.

6. Change sex positions

New positions may help deter premature ejaculation if you choose the best ones.

New positions can also be psychologically stimulating too, so you really have to find the right balance to help slow things down.

The general goal should be to find positions that don't give you as much thrusting control or stimulate the sensitive parts of your penis as much.

Here are a few good sex positions that may help you last longer:

  • Cowgirl - She's on top, facing and riding you
  • Sit on the throne - You're in a seated position; she's on top but facing away from you
  • Spooning - You enter from behind while spooning

It can also be helpful to find out what your partner would recommend that would give them more control over movements and thrusts.

7. Masturbate before sex

It's no big secret—if you have recently cum, you're going to last a little longer than usual during intercourse.

So, if you know, you're going to be with your partner and want a few more minutes before your orgasm, masturbate a little while in advance.

This can be tricky, though, so here are a few tips:

  • Know your recuperation time, so you don't completely kill the possibility of intercourse later
  • Know how long it will be (approximately) until your next performance and ejaculate again
  • Don't wait so long that the effects of the pre-masturbation session have entirely worn off

Timing is everything with this method, but working one out before sexual activity with a partner may be enough to delay ejaculation.

8. Seek counseling or sex therapy

Sex therapy to keep from cumming

Sex and mental health are closely related, so it’s no surprise that stress and other factors can no only affect your time to ejaculation, but could even go as far as causing erectile dysfunction issues.

Which then, of course, causes performance anxiety, intimacy concerns with your significant other, and a host of other issues that just compound on top of one another; if this sounds familiar, consider sexual therapy.

Speaking to someone familiar with the psychological side of sexual medicine can often make a significant difference.

Sex therapy is far more common than you think.

9. Diversionary thoughts

Use distractions to keep from cumming

Using diversionary thoughts to help with premature ejaculation is something often taught by sex therapists, and this technique is something you are likely already familiar with.

Ever hear: Think about baseball...

You guessed it—diversionary thinking is just creating a diversion from focusing on sex.

If you've ever gotten a random hard-on and needed to get rid of it fast, you've probably already practiced this technique.

The same thing can help during sexual activity when you’re trying to stave off premature ejaculation.

Just pick something, anything, that has as little to do with sex as possible but is fascinating enough to distract you.

Diversion is sort of a mind-over-matter thing, which can work for some men.

10. Thicker condoms

Premature ejaculation can sometimes be negated just by wearing a thicker condom.

While delay sprays and some other methods may be more effective, some people have allergic reactions to benzocaine or lidocaine, so something like a thick condom may be a better alternative.

Obviously, any condom will slightly dull your sexual sensations, but if your goal is to prolong ejaculation, the thicker the condom, the better.

11. Try something new

Between having a few minutes before sex while you wait for a desensitizing agent to take effect and taking a few minutes to step away from that proverbial edge, you may have a little extra time to play around; take this time to try something new in bed.

Here are a few ideas.

Kivin Method

The kivin method is an oral sex technique that involves the female lying on her side with you perpendicular to her body.

The two of you will make a "T" shape.

The kivin method allows you to stimulate her vagina from a completely different angle—side to side instead of up and down.

Give this one a try, and you’ll both be glad you did!

Venus Butterfly Technique

The venus butterfly technique is an oral sex technique to try on your female partner.

Performing the venus butterfly involves seven basic steps:

  1. Start slow with your hands away from the clitoris
  2. Use your tongue but avoid the clitoris
  3. Go for the clitoris
  4. Pause
  5. Start again with steps 1 to 3
  6. Penetrate with your finger and massage the g-spot
  7. Allow her to orgasm

You will be doing a little edging with this technique, but for her and not for you.

So, you can opt to stop before she cums if you want.

Analingus

analingus to keep from cumming

Analingus (a.k.a. rimming) is oral-anal sex, and it can be a lot of fun for some people, both male and female.

To distract yourself from imminent ejaculation, you could try giving this form of oral sex a try with your partner.

Sex Toys

Sex toys can be a lifesaver if you ejaculate way before your partner for a few reasons.

One, you can give her some added stimulation to get her closer to orgasm.

For example, a basic vibrator on her clitoris while you take a much-needed break.

Or, you can get really creative with something like a clitoral sucker that's bound to push her closer to climax faster.

Two, some sex toys are specifically designed to help men with premature ejaculation.

For example, you could get a penis sleeve that not only conceals the sensitive parts of your penis but also vibrate to provide her with added stimulation.

Additionally, you could try using a stamina training device such as the MYHIXEL to help give you more control.

BDSM

BDSM to keep from cumming

A little BDSM play never hurt anyone—at least it shouldn't hurt to the point of discomfort. But BDSM may even be an effective tool if you're dealing with premature ejaculation.

You could try:

  • Some light restrains to relinquish control
  • Blindfolds to eliminate visual stimulation
  • Light flogging or spanking as a recipient to take your mind off of ejaculation

Takeaways

With so many options available to treat premature ejaculation, from topical anesthetic products you can buy over the counter to specific techniques, you may be able to get yourself a few more minutes, and that may be just enough.

If at-home methods don't work for premature ejaculation, you can always seek other treatment options.

Then it might be time to consider things like SSRIs or sexual therapy.

Premature ejaculation can interfere with a good sex life, feed into performance anxiety, and create an inability to please your partner in bed.

But thankfully, with so many ways to tackle the problem, it doesn’t have to be.

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Dr. Wayne Hellstrom
Dr. Wayne Hellstrom

Dr. Wayne Hellstrom is a board-certified Professor of Urology and Chief, Section of Andrology at Tulane University School of Medicine in New Orleans, Louisiana. He works as a urologist at Tulane University, University Medical Center, and the Veterans Administration Medical Center in New Orleans. Wayne received his MD from McGill Medical School followed by a residency there in General Surgery. He completed a residency in Urology at UC San Francisco, and an AUA scholar-funded fellowship in Andrology at the UC Davis. Dr. Hellstrom is the past President of the Sexual Medicine Society of North America and the International Society of Sexual Medicine. He has authored or coauthored over 100 book chapters and more than 500 manuscripts in peer-reviewed journals.

Sources:

Absorption Pharmaceuticals LLC (Promescent) has strict informational citing guidelines and relies on peer-reviewed studies, academic or research institutions, medical associations, and medical experts. We attempt to use primary sources and refrain from using tertiary references and only citing trustworthy sources. Each article is reviewed, written, and updated by Medical Professionals or authoritative Experts in a specific, related field of practice. You can learn more about how we ensure our content is accurate and current by reading our editorial policy.

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The Content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.


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