Have you ever wondered how to keep from cumming? We've gathered this list of tips and tricks to help you stop premature ejaculation.
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Your partner's hot and ready, your erection is rock hard, and you have every intention of making this the best sex ever.
Sounds like a good plan!
Unfortunately, everything is over before it ever really gets started because you ejaculate too quickly.
Worse yet, your partner's barely even gotten started—her orgasm’s still looming way off in the distance—and your erection is quickly fading.
Premature ejaculation (PE) could be to blame for all this, whether you have a severe issue or just an occasional problem.
Let's take a look at how you can delay ejaculation with the help of medications, behavioral techniques, lidocaine sprays, and more.
According to the National Library of Medicine the average intravaginal ejaculation latency time is 5.5 minutes.
Yes, selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) are effective at treating premature ejaculation, but require a prescription. You can also try a delay spray like Promescent to which is a clinically proven treatment option to delay ejaculation.
Yes, there are several things like Kegel exercise, the edging technique, and the start stop-method, just to name a few.
To treat premature ejaculation, medical professionals use everything from medicine to therapy.
But, there are many ways you can increase your time to ejaculation on your own.
Some of the more popular methods include:
On average, it takes a man 5.5 minutes to reach climax.If you're dealing with premature ejaculation, your ejaculation time can be far lower—as low as less than a minute.
And, even if you are not necessarily dealing with diagnosable premature ejaculation, you may still be cumming too fast to please your partner.
Women tend to climax at a much slower pace than men. This is called the "Orgasm Gap".
Initially, most medical providers will recommend particular techniques and exercises to help with premature ejaculation, but if those don’t work, there are drugs available that can help.
Things like selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) are one of the most commonly prescribed types of medications to treat premature ejaculation, even though this class of drugs is most often used to treat depression.
A few SSRI medicines you may be prescribed include:
Dapoxetine is another SSRI, but one specifically designed to help people who have been diagnosed with premature ejaculation.
SSRIs can be prescribed for use on-demand (within a few hours before sex) or regularly.
Some medicines may even take a week or two before you see any results.
Some studies suggest that SSRIs seem to help delay ejaculation by interfering with neurotransmission in the brain.
Even though the penis is being stimulated, how the brain processes those sensations or how fast those sensations are processed changes.Risks or side effects of SSRIs
SSRI drugs for treating premature ejaculation are not a first-line, go-to option for treatment because of the fact that they can be related to so many side effects.Common side effects of taking SSRIs include:
Ironically, SSRIs are readily recognized for causing sexual dysfunction, especially when it comes to keeping an erection and causing erectile dysfunction.
Bottom line, if you can find an alternative to SSRIs, you’re probably better off doing so.
And luckily we've got some great ones below.
If premature ejaculation is something getting in the way of your sexual performance, your enhanced sex life could be just a few changes away.
You can delay ejaculation in a lot of creative ways on your own.
One of the most popular ways to deter premature ejaculation is by using a product that lowers sensitivity levels, so you keep from cumming.
Delay sprays and wipes contain numbing agents like lidocaine or benzocaine that affect the sensitive nerves in the penis.
With either a wipe or a spray, you simply:
Once absorbed, you can enjoy sexual intercourse without the worry of getting overstimulated and cumming too soon.
Products like these to help with premature ejaculation have an excellent reputation, but some brands are better known and better medically reviewed than others.
Promescent Desensitizing Wipes and Promescent Desensitizing Spray are two good examples.
Promescent products are made with rapid-absorption technology, which means you can spray or wipe, wait just a few minutes, and not worry about transferring the desensitization to your partner.
When used effectively, both delay wipes and delay sprays can enhance your time to ejaculation by a few minutes or more.
Doctors will commonly recommend pelvic floor muscle exercises (a.k.a. Kegels) for individuals who suffer from premature ejaculation.
In theory, if you have weaker pelvic floor muscles, this may lead to premature ejaculation because you don't have the same level of control during sex.
Your pelvic floor muscles are the muscles you use when you’re trying to stop urinating.
So, when you urinate, try to figure out what muscles it requires to interrupt your flow.
Once you have found the pelvic floor muscles, you can do simple, repetitive exercises to strengthen them.
Working out pelvic floor muscle looks something like this:
You can work your pelvic floor muscles in just about any position, including lying down, sitting, or even standing up.
After some training, you can hold the flex for longer or work in more repetitions.
The stronger you get, the more control you may find over premature ejaculation.
The edging method, commonly referred to as the stop/start technique, is a straightforward way to help with premature ejaculation.
The basic concept of stop/start is to stop when you feel the urge to cum, wait for that phase of excitement to wane, and then start back up.
You are essentially enjoying stimulation right to the "edge" of cumming—before there is no turning back—and stopping.
Pro Tip: Another great way to increase stamina is with the MYHIXEL male stamina trainer. This app-enabled device can improve your stamina in as little as eight weeks.
The key with edging is to figure out your point of no return, which is not something every man naturally recognizes, so you may need a little practice before actually trying the technique with a partner.
Practicing while you masturbate can help.
Once you're capable of stopping and starting several times, introduce this technique during sex with a partner.
Let them know what you're doing so they can be involved. They’ll likely be happy to hear that you’ve been practicing.
The squeeze method for premature ejaculation combines the stop/start method and squeezing the head of the penis before ejaculation occurs.
The process involves sexual activity until you feel you are about to cum, stopping, and then firmly squeezing the head of the penis where it meets the shaft (frenulum) until the urge to orgasm passes.
Your erection may even start to subside. You can then get back to penetration and repeat the process as needed.
The beauty of the squeeze technique is that you can do it as much as you want, and you can even get your partner involved in the process.
Plus, some men eventually learn how to control when they ejaculate after practicing the squeeze method for some time—they may not have to squeeze at all.
Certain nutrients are equally necessary for good sexual health. Some studies even suggest that zinc and magnesium may help with premature ejaculation.
To get zinc and magnesium into your diet to help treat premature ejaculation, you can take a supplement like VitaFLUX, but you should also consider adding foods like:
While diet alone may not delay time-to-ejaculation significantly, this can be an important step in the right direction.
New positions may help deter premature ejaculation if you choose the best ones.
New positions can also be psychologically stimulating too, so you really have to find the right balance to help slow things down.
The general goal should be to find positions that don't give you as much thrusting control or stimulate the sensitive parts of your penis as much.
Here are a few good sex positions that may help you last longer:
It can also be helpful to find out what your partner would recommend that would give them more control over movements and thrusts.
It's no big secret—if you have recently cum, you're going to last a little longer than usual during intercourse.
So, if you know, you're going to be with your partner and want a few more minutes before your orgasm, masturbate a little while in advance.
This can be tricky, though, so here are a few tips:
Timing is everything with this method, but working one out before sexual activity with a partner may be enough to delay ejaculation.
Sex and mental health are closely related, so it’s no surprise that stress and other factors can no only affect your time to ejaculation, but could even go as far as causing erectile dysfunction issues.
Which then, of course, causes performance anxiety, intimacy concerns with your significant other, and a host of other issues that just compound on top of one another; if this sounds familiar, consider sexual therapy.
Speaking to someone familiar with the psychological side of sexual medicine can often make a significant difference.
Sex therapy is far more common than you think.
Using diversionary thoughts to help with premature ejaculation is something often taught by sex therapists, and this technique is something you are likely already familiar with.
Ever hear: Think about baseball...
You guessed it—diversionary thinking is just creating a diversion from focusing on sex.
If you've ever gotten a random hard-on and needed to get rid of it fast, you've probably already practiced this technique.
The same thing can help during sexual activity when you’re trying to stave off premature ejaculation.
Just pick something, anything, that has as little to do with sex as possible but is fascinating enough to distract you.
Diversion is sort of a mind-over-matter thing, which can work for some men.
Premature ejaculation can sometimes be negated just by wearing a thicker condom.
While delay sprays and some other methods may be more effective, some people have allergic reactions to benzocaine or lidocaine, so something like a thick condom may be a better alternative.
Obviously, any condom will slightly dull your sexual sensations, but if your goal is to prolong ejaculation, the thicker the condom, the better.
Between having a few minutes before sex while you wait for a desensitizing agent to take effect and taking a few minutes to step away from that proverbial edge, you may have a little extra time to play around; take this time to try something new in bed.
Here are a few ideas.
The kivin method is an oral sex technique that involves the female lying on her side with you perpendicular to her body.
The two of you will make a "T" shape.
The kivin method allows you to stimulate her vagina from a completely different angle—side to side instead of up and down.
Give this one a try, and you’ll both be glad you did!
The venus butterfly technique is an oral sex technique to try on your female partner.
Performing the venus butterfly involves seven basic steps:
You will be doing a little edging with this technique, but for her and not for you.
So, you can opt to stop before she cums if you want.
Analingus (a.k.a. rimming) is oral-anal sex, and it can be a lot of fun for some people, both male and female.
To distract yourself from imminent ejaculation, you could try giving this form of oral sex a try with your partner.
Sex toys can be a lifesaver if you ejaculate way before your partner for a few reasons.
One, you can give her some added stimulation to get her closer to orgasm.
For example, a basic vibrator on her clitoris while you take a much-needed break.
Or, you can get really creative with something like a clitoral sucker that's bound to push her closer to climax faster.
Two, some sex toys are specifically designed to help men with premature ejaculation.
For example, you could get a penis sleeve that not only conceals the sensitive parts of your penis but also vibrate to provide her with added stimulation.
Additionally, you could try using a stamina training device such as the MYHIXEL to help give you more control.
A little BDSM play never hurt anyone—at least it shouldn't hurt to the point of discomfort. But BDSM may even be an effective tool if you're dealing with premature ejaculation.
You could try:
With so many options available to treat premature ejaculation, from topical anesthetic products you can buy over the counter to specific techniques, you may be able to get yourself a few more minutes, and that may be just enough.
If at-home methods don't work for premature ejaculation, you can always seek other treatment options.
Then it might be time to consider things like SSRIs or sexual therapy.
Premature ejaculation can interfere with a good sex life, feed into performance anxiety, and create an inability to please your partner in bed.
But thankfully, with so many ways to tackle the problem, it doesn’t have to be.
Dr. Wayne Hellstrom is a board-certified Professor of Urology and Chief, Section of Andrology at Tulane University School of Medicine in New Orleans, Louisiana. He works as a urologist at Tulane University, University Medical Center, and the Veterans Administration Medical Center in New Orleans. Wayne received his MD from McGill Medical School followed by a residency there in General Surgery. He completed a residency in Urology at UC San Francisco, and an AUA scholar-funded fellowship in Andrology at the UC Davis. Dr. Hellstrom is the past President of the Sexual Medicine Society of North America and the International Society of Sexual Medicine. He has authored or coauthored over 100 book chapters and more than 500 manuscripts in peer-reviewed journals.
Absorption Pharmaceuticals LLC (Promescent) has strict informational citing guidelines and relies on peer-reviewed studies, academic or research institutions, medical associations, and medical experts. We attempt to use primary sources and refrain from using tertiary references and only citing trustworthy sources. Each article is reviewed, written, and updated by Medical Professionals or authoritative Experts in a specific, related field of practice. You can find out more about how we ensure our content is accurate and current by reading our editorial policy.
Marcel D Waldinger, Paul Quinn, Maria Dilleen, Rajiv Mundayat, Dave H Schweitzer, Mitradev Boolell. 2005 July. A multinational population survey of intravaginal ejaculation latency time. PubMed. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/16422843/. Accessed 31 Jan 2022.
National Health Service Staff. 2021 December 08. Overview - Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs). NHS. https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/talking-therapies-medicine-treatments/medicines-and-psychiatry/ssri-antidepressants/overview/. Accessed 31 Jan 2022.
Mohamed Arafa, and Rany Shamloul. 2007 August. A randomized study examining the effect of 3 SSRI on premature ejaculation using a validated questionnaire. NCBI. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2374931/. Accessed 31 Jan 2022.
Mayo Clinic Staff. 2019 September 17. Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs). Mayo Clinic. https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depression/in-depth/ssris/art-20044825. Accessed 31 Jan 2022.
Wikipedia Contributors. Last Edited 2022 January 09. Lidocaine. Wikipedia. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lidocaine. Accessed 31 Jan 2022.
Wikipedia Contributors. Last Edited 2022 January 05. Benzocaine. Wikipedia. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Benzocaine. Accessed 31 Jan 2022.
Mayo Clinic Staff. 2020 August 27. Premature ejaculation Symptoms & causes Diagnosis & treatment. Mayo Clinic. https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/premature-ejaculation/diagnosis-treatment/drc-20354905. Accessed 31 Jan 2022.
A E Omu, A A Al-Bader, H Dashti, M A Oriowo. 2001 January-February. Magnesium in human semen: possible role in premature ejaculation. PubMed. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/11204619/. Accessed 31 Jan 2022.
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