What is Forced Orgasm? Definition and Tips to Do it Safely

Forced orgasms occur when one person consents to being brought to orgasm through continuous sexual stimulation. Learn how to enjoy doing it safely.

The Promescent Team
Hands on, practical experience – this is our expertise
by The Promescent Team Last updated 02/08/2024
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A forced orgasm describes a scenario where a person is brought to orgasm through continuous sexual stimulation, despite their attempts to resist or their role-played lack of consent. 

It's important to note that all activities within BDSM, including forced orgasms, are based on the foundational principles of safe, sane, and consensual (SSC) or risk-aware consensual kink (RACK).

Quick FAQs

A forced orgasm is when a person consents to being given an orgasm through continuous sexual stimulation while role-playing a lack of consent.

Two people should first consent to engaging in a forced orgasm and decide on safe words. Couples can choose to utilize restraints and sex toys to heighten the experience.

Safe words are words that couples decide to use as a signal if one partner wants to stop sexual activity.

The person experiencing the forced orgasm has previously consented to this activity and has the power to stop it at any time using safe words or signals.

This practice explores the dynamics of power and control, and can be intensely pleasurable and thrilling for both parties involved.

How does a forced orgasm happen?

Forced orgasms often involve the use of restraints to limit the recipient's ability to stop the stimulation. It can also include toys or manual methods to induce orgasm.

How it plays out can vary based on the receiver’s anatomy and preferences, and the givers' stamina and preferences.

Women have shorter refractory periods, therefore if they are the recipient, they can be made to orgasm multiple times.

Depending on her preference, it could be through manual stimulation, or a sex toy such as a bullet vibrator.

In contrast, because men have longer refractory periods, they may be subjected to orgasm denial. It’s when a person is stimulated to the brink of orgasm before stimulation is stopped.

The receiving partner may ask permission to orgasm, or the giving partner may command their partner to orgasm.

Role-playing scenes may also be incorporated, such as a doctor “forcing” their patient to orgasm during an examination.

How to start engaging in forced orgasms

Getting started with forced orgasms in consensual BDSM play involves open communication, mutual trust, and a thorough understanding of each other's boundaries and desires.

Here's a step-by-step guide to help you navigate this exhilarating journey with your partner:

1. Education

Take the time to educate yourselves about BDSM practices, including forced orgasms.

Read books, watch educational videos, or attend workshops together to deepen your understanding of techniques, safety precautions, and psychological aspects involved in BDSM play.

2. Communication and Safe words

Have an open and honest conversation with your partner about your interests, boundaries, and desires regarding forced orgasms. 

Discuss what excites you both about the idea and any concerns or limits you may have.

Establish clear communication channels and agree on safe words or signals to indicate when to stop or slow down.

Partners should choose a word or signal that’s easy to remember and can’t be mistaken as a part of the dialogue. Examples of commonly used safe words include:

  • Red
  • Banana
  • Pineapple

Establishing and respecting safe words allows for responsible and consensual BDSM play, prioritizing mutual pleasure and well-being.

3. Pain scale

Everyone has a different level of pain tolerance. Partners should confirm what types of pain they want to avoid.

Begin with gentle stimulation. As the stimulation is intensified, the receiver should state what the pain level is on a scale of 1 to 10. 

Each partner should establish the highest level of pain they’re willing to experience.

The giver should pay attention to verbal and nonverbal cues, and limit the intensity if it’s reached the receiver’s peak tolerance level.

4. Items and sex toys

Partners can incorporate a variety of items and sex toys when engaging in forced orgasms. Here are a few to discuss whether to include or not:

  • Vibrators: Use to provide intense stimulation to the genitals.
  • Dildos: Use for penetration and to enhance arousal.
  • Restraints: Handcuffs, rope, or bondage tape to restrain the recipient.
  • Blindfolds: Sensory deprivation can intensify the experience and heighten anticipation.
  • Impact toys: Paddles, floggers, or crops can add pain or pleasure to the play session.

Consent is non-negotiable in BDSM play. Ensure that both you and your partner fully consent to engaging in forced orgasms and that consent is ongoing throughout the experience.

Make sure you both understand and respect each other's boundaries and limits before getting started.

6. Set the Scene

Create a safe and comfortable environment for your play session. Consider factors such as lighting, ambiance, and privacy to enhance the mood and reduce distractions.

Set up any necessary equipment or props beforehand to ensure a smooth and seamless experience.

7. Start Slowly

If you're new to forced orgasms, start slowly and gradually build up intensity over time.

Experiment with different techniques, such as using toys, restraints, or sensory deprivation, to enhance arousal and stimulation. Pay attention to your partner's responses and adjust accordingly.

8. Check-In

Throughout your play session, regularly check in with your partner to ensure they're comfortable and enjoying themselves.

Use verbal or non-verbal cues to gauge their level of arousal and adjust the intensity of stimulation as needed. Remember, communication is key to a satisfying and consensual experience.

9. Aftercare

After your play session, engage in post-play aftercare to ensure emotional and physical well-being. The receiver may potentially experience sub-drop.

Sub drop refers to the emotional and physical aftermath experienced by a submissive (sub) after an intense BDSM scene. It can include feelings such as:

  • Depression
  • Anxiety
  • Hunger
  • Fatigue
  • Emotional vulnerability

Sub drop occurs due to the hormonal and neurological changes during BDSM play, leading to a temporary imbalance in mood and energy levels. 

Offer reassurance, cuddling, and affection to help your partner transition back to a relaxed state and process any intense emotions or sensations they may have experienced. Prioritize their mental, emotional, and physical needs.

By following these steps and establishing open communication, trust, and mutual respect, you can safely and responsibly explore forced orgasms with your partner, enhancing intimacy and pleasure in your relationship.


Remember that a forced orgasm is a consensual BDSM practice. Within agreed upon boundaries, a partner can choose to bring another to climax, often using restraints and toys.

Key tips include prioritizing clear communication, establishing a safe word, and ensuring mutual consent and understanding of each other's limits. 

Remember, exploring such dynamics should be a journey of trust, discovery, and respect for personal boundaries. 

Embrace this exploration with openness and care, allowing for a deeper connection and enriched experiences. 

Dive in with confidence and an open heart, ready to explore the depths of pleasure and consent together.

The Promescent Team

The Promescent Team

Our team has over a decade of experience in the sexual wellness field and are experts in sexual dysfunctions, like premature ejaculation. We help couples and individuals better understand treatment options available for different types of sexual needs and educate the public on all things related to intimacy. All of our authored content is medically reviewed for accuracy and reliability.


Absorption Pharmaceuticals LLC (Promescent) has strict informational citing guidelines and relies on peer-reviewed studies, academic or research institutions, medical associations, and medical experts. We attempt to use primary sources and refrain from using tertiary references and only citing trustworthy sources. Each article is reviewed, written, and updated by Medical Professionals or authoritative Experts in a specific, related field of practice. You can find out more about how we ensure our content is accurate and current by reading our editorial policy.

  • "Refactory Period - Masterclass." Masterclass.com, 2021, https://www.masterclass.com/articles/refractory-period-explained. Accessed on Feb, 8, 2024.
  • "What Consent Looks Like - RAINN." Rainn.org, 2024, https://www.rainn.org/articles/what-is-consent. Accessed on Feb, 8, 2024.
The Content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.

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