Couples with mismatched sex drives often share feelings of resentment and frustration. Learn proven tips on how you and your partner can overcome sexual differences.
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Having a higher or lower sex drive than your partner is quite common. But it may lead to serious relationship problems if left unaddressed.
Couples with mismatched sex drives often share feelings of resentment and frustration. It's important that both partners feel respected and desired without any obligation to be physically intimate.
Sex drive is the desire to engage in sex. It can range anywhere from low to high based on different factors.
A mismatched sex drive can be caused by health issues such as stress and hormonal changes.
A mismatched sex drive can be fixed through strategies such as communication and trying alternative sexual activities.
This guide will go over everything you need to know about sex drives and what happens when they're mismatched. Learn proven tips on how you and your partner can overcome any sexual differences to promote a healthy relationship today.
A sex drive, or libido, is the innate desire to engage in sex. Most men and women have a sex drive which can range from very low to extremely high depending on various factors.
A person with an active libido may experience:
While some people can have naturally higher or lower sex drives, it’s also not a static thing. Sex drives can shift throughout a person’s life, and in the short-term, a libido can shift wildly from day to day as well.
A man or woman’s libido is bound to change over time, with various ups and downs depending on circumstances.
In relationships, partners often go through a honeymoon phase in the beginning where sex drives are high and they're having sex daily, often times multiple times a day. But this may not last forever.
A person’s sex drive can drop due to various issues such as stress, medical issues, or a lack of sleep.
However, a drop in libido doesn’t have to be permanent. It’s important to work together to find healthy ways of matching libidos more closely.
Some of the most common causes of a lower libido include:
Even becoming more familiar with a long-term partner can reduce one’s sex drive over time, as the novelty of sex becomes slightly more routine. However, there are ways to help bring desire back into the bedroom.
Before we dive deeper into the reasons for mismatched libidos, remember that it's important to speak with your doctor if you notice a drastic change in your libido. In some cases, libido issues in relationships may be due to a medical issue, and it’s always important to rule that out quickly.
In many cases, pregnancy may lower a woman’s sexual desire, especially during the first trimester. Studies have found that pregnancy often affects a woman's libido due to:
During the first trimester, many women report a sharp decrease in sex drive. However, the same study found that some women may have an increase in libido during the later stages of pregnancy.
The study also found that men often reported a lower libido as well, likely due to the stress and lifestyle changes involved with a pregnancy.
Along with pregnancy, menopause has been shown to decrease a woman’s libido and even orgasm satisfaction. This is due to sudden hormonal changes along with menopause side effects such as:
In the same study, it was found that women who exercised frequently were more likely to maintain their libido during menopause compared to those who did not.
Low testosterone, or Low T, is a common cause of low sex drive and other sexual dysfunctions in men.
While a decrease in testosterone is expected as one ages, men of all ages may suffer from low testosterone due to:
Some of the most common symptoms of Low T include:
Pro Tip: Check out Promescent Testosterone Booster to help maintain healthy testosterone levels and enjoy increased endurance and stamina.
Depression can affect men and women of all ages, and some of its side effects related to sex drive include:
Depression may occur due to a specific reason, such as job loss or illness, while other times it may be a chronic condition without a specific external factor. If you’re suffering from depression, it’s important to speak with your doctor or therapist for the best professional guidance.
Sometimes medications can lower one’s sex drive, and anti-depressants are often one of the leading risk factors for sexual dysfunction. Studies have found that certain antidepressants, or SSRIs, may drastically lower women and men’s libido.
If you notice a loss of sex drive from antidepressants, or any other medication, it’s important to speak with your doctor before discontinuing usage.
In some cases, a doctor may recommend a slight change in the dosage to see if side effects cease, or they may recommend a similar medication as well.
Other medications that may alter one's sex drive include:
Stress can have a strong negative impact on both women and men’s libido. Research has shown that stress affects the body in numerous ways, such as disrupting hormones and lowering overall sexual functioning. In fact, stress can even contribute to erectile dysfunction.
While therapy is highly recommended for those suffering from chronic stress, you can also try to reduce stress by:
While being in a long-term relationship can be highly rewarding, researchers have found that it may lead to a drop in libido at times if partners aren’t careful.
In this study, it was discovered that libido loss can occur when either the man or woman experiences continual dissatisfaction in the bedroom.
However, women were more likely to experience a lower sex drive if there were problems within the relationship as well.
Some tips to deal with these issues include:
Low sexual satisfaction can affect both men and women, and it may lead to problems beyond the bedroom. In a study, men and women who were unsatisfied with their sex lives were also found to be more unhappy in their relationship overall.
An unhappy relationship also leads to a further decrease in libido as well. While sex is often not the most important aspect of a relationship, it is a crucial part of one.
It's important for couples to find ways to ensure both partners are equally sexually satisfied.
Studies have shown that there are ways to overcome different sex drives in a relationship, like with increased masturbation or simply discussing sex more often.
However, fixing a mismatched sex drive doesn’t mean simply raising the libido of the lower-libido partner. It often requires some open discussion on what each person expects or desires from sex.
One problem that many partners with different libidos face is resentment. The higher libido partner may feel unfulfilled, and the lower libido partner may feel as though they're being pressured to engage.
It’s helpful to make compromises on both sides to prevent resentment and encourage libidos to grow more naturally.
Some examples of compromises include:
Some supplements can also help to increase one’s libido. Natural herbal supplements like Libido Booster for Women and VitaFLUX Nitric Oxide Booster for Men may promote a stronger sex-drive and healthier sexual functioning.
While both of these supplements utilize well-studied and high-quality ingredients, make sure to talk with your doctor before trying any new supplementation.
In a relationship with mismatched libidos, masturbation can be a healthy activity that can reduce urges and minimize tension in the bedroom. Many of its potential benefits are similar to sex, such as:
Masturbation may prevent one partner from feeling unsatisfied should the other partner not be in the mood.
Communication is a crucial part of mending mismatched sex drives in a marriage. Some conversation starters include:
To prevent sex from feeling like a habit or chore, talk about ways you’d like to be seduced, and ask your partner how they’d like to be seduced.
It’s easy for long-term partners to get stuck in sexual habits, but a little spontaneity can help to make things exciting again.
To prevent sex from feeling like a routine, you can try alternative sexual activities to make intercourse more impactful and potentially raise your partner’s libido.
Some spicy sex acts include:
Take time to discover new ways you and your partner can enjoy sexual activities together.
While having a mismatched sex drive in a relationship can feel frustrating, it is something that can be worked on to ensure both partners are satisfied.
Communicate honestly and respectfully with your partner, and know that it takes time for changes to occur. By utilizing these tips, you can help to improve your sex life and promote a healthier relationship overall.
Finally, make sure to speak with your doctor if you experience any sudden loss in libido.
Our team has over a decade of experience in the sexual wellness field and are experts in sexual dysfunctions, like premature ejaculation. We help couples and individuals better understand treatment options available for different types of sexual needs and educate the public on all things related to intimacy. All of our authored content is medically reviewed for accuracy and reliability.
Absorption Pharmaceuticals LLC (Promescent) has strict informational citing guidelines and relies on peer-reviewed studies, academic or research institutions, medical associations, and medical experts. We attempt to use primary sources and refrain from using tertiary references and only citing trustworthy sources. Each article is reviewed, written, and updated by Medical Professionals or authoritative Experts in a specific, related field of practice. You can find out more about how we ensure our content is accurate and current by reading our editorial policy.
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