How to Deal With Premature Ejaculation in a Relationship

Here are some tips on how to deal with premature ejaculation in a relationship. Use these techniques to help you and your partner have a better sex life.

The Promescent Team
Hands on, practical experience – this is our expertise
by The Promescent Team Last updated 12/12/2023
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Premature ejaculation, or PE, affects over 30% of men worldwide. Unfortunately, PE can also affect both partners in a relationship.

Problems in the bedroom may worsen problems outside of the bedroom. This guide will help you better understand premature ejaculation and how it affects relationships.

Quick FAQs

Premature ejaculation is typically defined as having an inability to delay ejaculation longer than one to three minutes.

It's important for partners to discuss how long they want sex to last, what forms of pleasure can occur after ejaculation, and what techniques they can try to prolong orgasm.

Premature ejaculation can potentially affect relationships by causing issues such as lowered self-esteem and decreased intimacy.

There are strategies that can help minimize any potential conflicts or anxieties. Plus, we’ll look at proven tips for overcoming PE that can help men gain confidence and stamina in the bedroom today.

What is Premature Ejaculation?

Premature ejaculation is defined as an inability to delay ejaculation longer than one to three minutes during most or all vaginal penetrations.

There are four major types of PE that can affect men. Those four types are:

  • Lifelong PE - Ejaculation too early in nearly all sexual encounters throughout one’s lifetime.
  • Acquired PE - New onset of premature ejaculation with an identifiable cause such as sexual performance anxiety.
    • Natural variable PE - An irregular occurrence of premature ejaculation.
    • Subjective PE - Subjective perception of consistent rapid ejaculation despite lasting a normal amount of time or longer.

    PE is mainly a problem when it’s a regular occurrence, as in the case of lifelong and acquired PE.

    How to Deal with Premature Ejaculation in a Relationship

    It’s important to talk with your partner if you’re suffering from premature ejaculation. Set a goal together of how long you both want sex to last.

    It's also important to understand that sex doesn't end after ejaculation. While a man's libido may drop soon after an orgasm, they can still please their partner through: 

    By being open about PE, discussing it with your partner, and using this guide's tips, you can reduce the mental stress around it. Here are some tips to increase satisfaction in the bedroom for both partners.

    PE Self-Help Techniques

    Let's look at some of the most common and proven self-help techniques on how to help your partner with premature ejaculation:

    Squeeze Technique

    The squeeze technique is when a man or his partner gently squeezes the head of the penis when he’s about to reach orgasm.

    We have an article on the squeeze technique that provides more in-depth information about the strategy.

    Start-stop method

    The start-stop method involves a man stopping sex when he feels like he’s about to ejaculate. When the urge to ejaculate passes, he can resume penetration. Repeating this technique can help with improving sexual stamina.

    Delay Sprays

    In some cases, using a Desensitizing Spray can help to immediately fix PE. The spray uses lidocaine, which is a safe and well-researched ingredient, to temporarily desensitize the penis during intercourse. 

    This helps to prevent over-stimulation, which can lead to greater stamina without sacrificing pleasure. Plus, the spray won’t transfer to partners when used as directed.

    Kegels

    Some studies have found that kegels may help to increase ejaculatory control in some men.

    Kegels can help to control and strengthen the PC muscles, which may lead to stronger erections and an increase in stamina over time.

    To perform them, imagine you are trying to stop a flow of urine. A kegel is simply doing that movement, very lightly, a few times throughout the day.

    To prevent an overly tightened pelvic floor, you can also perform reverse kegels, which are done by engaging the same muscle but while lightly pushing as though you are expelling a final drop of urine.

    Practicing both can lead to a healthy and balanced pelvic floor, which may prevent and cure PE for some men.

    Exercise and Yoga

    Along with kegels, exercise and yoga can both relax an overly tightened pelvic floor and help to fight against PE.

    A recent news article noted a study that found running for 30 minutes five times a week was as effective at treating PE as dapoxetine.

    PE Medications

    There are some medications not specifically prescribed for premature ejaculation that may help men control their orgasm. A few we’ve discussed in-depth include:

    Does Premature Ejaculation Affect Relationships?

    According to studies, premature ejaculation can be highly negative for both partners in a relationship.

    Some common and serious problems that both partners face include:

    • Lowered self-esteem
    • Reduced relationship satisfaction
    • Reduced sexual satisfaction
    • Decreased intimacy
    • An increased risk of breaking up

    The man may feel like he's failing his partner, and both partners may be left unsatisfied, especially if all activities end after ejaculation.

    In long-term cases of PE, there may be feelings of resentment if sex becomes consistently short and unsatisfactory. This can lead to feelings of resentment and disappointment from their partner.

    This is why it’s crucial to find a solution to one's PE sooner rather than later.

    Causes of Premature Ejaculation

    There are many known causes of PE, and oftentimes, there may be multiple factors causing it for some men.

    Here are some of the most common reasons for premature ejaculation known today:

    Stress and Anxiety about Sexual Performance

    Research has found stress and anxiety can make premature ejaculation more likely to occur.

    If a man’s worried about pleasing their partner and not finishing too early, this extra stress on top of other anxieties may make PE a self-fulfilling cycle.

    Pelvic Floor Tension

    The PC muscles within the pelvic floor are activated when ejaculating, and for some men, their muscles may be overly tightened. This can lead to PE among other sexual dysfunctions.

    Relaxing the pelvic muscles either through reverse kegels or with yoga that focuses on the hips may help to relieve this tension and help to cure PE.

    Takeaways

    Premature ejaculation can be challenging for both the person experiencing it and their partner. It may cause increased distress in a relationship if the condition is left untreated.

    It’s important for partners to discuss what their expectations are with how long sex lasts and how pleasure can continue after ejaculation.

    Through following the tips in this guide, couples can reduce the stress around PE and enhance intimacy.

    From sex sprays to kegels, men and women can take control over their sex life and overcome the burden of PE today!

    The Promescent Team

    The Promescent Team

    Our team has over a decade of experience in the sexual wellness field and are experts in sexual dysfunctions, like premature ejaculation. We help couples and individuals better understand treatment options available for different types of sexual needs and educate the public on all things related to intimacy. All of our authored content is medically reviewed for accuracy and reliability.

    Sources:

    Absorption Pharmaceuticals LLC (Promescent) has strict informational citing guidelines and relies on peer-reviewed studies, academic or research institutions, medical associations, and medical experts. We attempt to use primary sources and refrain from using tertiary references and only citing trustworthy sources. Each article is reviewed, written, and updated by Medical Professionals or authoritative Experts in a specific, related field of practice. You can find out more about how we ensure our content is accurate and current by reading our editorial policy.

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    The Content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.

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